Ok gang here is the deal. WH and I POJAed me taking a class this Sunday. I had not thought of him doing anything more during class time than looking after DS2.

Today while we are having lunch together, he brings up the idea of taking DS2 to the park. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but after I got back to work, the panic set in. I started having thoughts like "Is he going to meet someone there?"

I called WH and explained these thoughts and that because of them I now do not feel good about the idea. So he "decided" that since it was an issue, he would just stay home with DS2.

Do I have any indication that he is meeting up with someone, or even been in contact with anyone else? No.

I recognized this is fear talking. And although his solution solves the issue, it would be done at the expense of my son having a good time with his dad. That is something I want them both to experience.

So can anyone help me with ways I can get over this? How do you let go of that need to know who they are with? I know this is my hang up, so how do I feel safe in this situation?

It is a reasonable expectation for you to be aware where your H is at all times and with whom.

I never try to talk someone out of what I consider to be reasonable.

If H takes your son to the park, he can text you one cute pic after another .... showing you what he is doing when you are not around.

Would that help?

Your D-day was less than 6 months ago ... you are permitted to be occasionally NUTZ.

Sorry, NO 2X4 for you.

Sorry Pep but texting is out.

Since that was one of the tools he used to communicate with OW, I disabled it from all our phones

But thanks. Maybe I can have him take pics and upload to FB so I can see time and activity?

Exactly.
Work it out!

BUT...........this is not an irrational fear. If there is a risk that your H might meet the OW at a park, then your fear is VERY VALID. If he went then you would be triggered.

So, the solution is to find a way that your marriage is not at risk or you are triggered.

You will get no 2x4 for trying to protect your marriage! That is what you are supposed to do!

Or, you could ask your hubbie to have a male friend go with him to the park with HIS little son, too, for a play date.

Just another idea.

And no, at 6 months out, you are not paranoid. They really are out to get you.

AGREE. She is not paranoid, she is WISE. She is now enlightened and has a healthy fear of the risks. When you get hit by a car playing chicken, it tends to make one more aware of the real risks.

You are smart to question EVERYTHING. It's not paranoia, it's a normal reaction to what you have been through.