First, if this is a man who is being introduced at a party, or even out at dinner, I think that's okay. HOWEVER, SW, that is not the same as having your son date him along with you. In other words, your son should not spend very much time at all with this man for several months. So, you will have to get a sitter for him.

Also, I agree about the faith thing. You may have the same faith but that doesn't mean you are compatible in other areas of your life. When the Bible talks about being "evenly yoked" it doesn't just mean faith. You need to have the same goals, the same energy, the same kind of strides, all of that to be a good team. Ox and mules both make excellent plow animals, but you don't harnass them up together.

Now you may think you know all this because you've talked about it, but you can't really know yet. That's because people will say, and even think, they have one goal, but then, you find they do nothing towards achieving that goal. They are heading off in another direction. Keep reminding yourself of this so that you don't let your heart run wild.

Finally, for Sapphire, everyone wants to be happy, but happiness is not purpose of life. Happiness and sadness happen, and they are part of the Wheel of Fortune. It is not bad for children to see their parents sad provided they are old enough to understand they didn't cause it, and they aren't responsible for fixing it.

My generation and those behind me have been told lies. We've been told through our culture that we should live to be happy, and the implicit message is that we should be happy all the time. We should strive to avoid sadness, pain, suffering, etc.

I got news for you. Life is a vale of tears. It's also a triumphant mountain summit. The pain and suffering are built in. It's important that we accept that we can be sad, we can hurt, and yet, we can still be okay.

We spent a great day together yesterday. We were with friends the entire time...my friends here in my town...my son was there but it was casual....a few couples, lots of kids, food, talking...just fun. He is very comfortable with my friends...throughout the course of the day we discovered they know a lot of the same people, so that was good.....

Just trying to get to know him.

Just trying to get to know him.

We are on the same page about all the important things

SW, I get a sense that in your community, you won't be dating so much as courting. I think this changes the rules a little. Courtships tend to be much more public and much more subject to community influence.

I suspect that your families will have the power to veto the relationship even though you are experienced adults.

My comments on happiness weren't directed to you. From what you've written in the past, I was pretty sure you didn't need to hear that. I was addressing Sapphire's comments which put a heavy emphasis on happiness. I remember what I was like at her age, and how shocked I was to hear Dr. Laura say "There just feelings. Feelings are the most imprtant things in the world." What????? LOL. Now, after I've had LOTS of different feelings and have been through some of life, I get it.

That's why I think your community would have an unspoken power of veto. If they felt you two weren't right for each other, there would be lots and lots of pressure to split you up.

Your community will discuss this. His cousin's friend may say something to your sister. That kind of thing.The good news is they probably see a lot more clearly than you do when you're in the infatuation stage.

Even being of the same faith did not stop me and Prisca from having some pretty strong relationship problems.

Same here. In fact, my ex and I were (actually ARE) still holiness-pentecostal preachers. We were saved and called to the ministry BEFORE our marriage. And look where we ended up.

Before anyone runs out and quits their church for me having said that� I must note (�and this is a MOST UN-Christian thing to be happy about, I know�just pray for me) that the truth eventually came out about his wrongdoing, and though he apologized to our old church, served �probation time� of no ministering, and received forgiveness of the members and the senior pastor, his ministry has dried up. The Bible says you�ll know them by their fruit. This man prayed for several hours a day, studied his Bible for several hours more, and yet still we are divorced.

Ok, I�m done with that t/j. Just didn�t want anyone to backslide over two preachers divorcing.

Back to you SmilingWoman, please please please be careful. Everything I�ve learned on this site and some others about personality disorders says this is happening too fast. The guy is too perfect too soon. If your faith is anything like mine, it will be hard to be physically/financially/etc committed to each other too soon, but I'm just concerned about you being *emotionally* committed (and then hurt) later!

Have fun ***you deserve some fun*** I do hope he turns out to be everything you need (and want)!

DTC

SW, just keep in mind this isn't the only available man in your faith. If it turns out, you two aren't a good fit in some other ways, I'm sure your community will start looking at other people to send your way.

Good luck to you! I just hope you have a different experience than I just had.

Keep us posted! We're keeping our fingers crossed...

Still sounds like high school to me.