I all, I need some advice. My wife of 18 years and I are separated. She seems to be going through a mid life crisis.
I ignored her needs unknowingly. We've try some counseling with no good results. I love her deeply and I want her back but not in the same type of relationship he had. I want a new and better relationship. She seems to think we need a divorce. She says she can't trust me, I'm guessing she mean with her feelings. At this point I believe there is not another man, I think she would tell me if there was. I think my fear of abandonment helped me to lose my temper when she thought leaving was the right thing to do. Please ask any questions.

I'll add more. My gut tells me she still loves me but she thinks I was controlling. She stops by the house everyday for lunch but I'm not there, my S17 is. She calls after work to see if I need anything. A couple days ago when she was there I went up behind her and rubbed her neck a little and she kissed me on my cheek, she usually doesn't initiate kissing or hugging btw.
She was a SAHM until a few weeks ago when she started working again and I've seen her improve greatly. I think she had really low self esteem. We ran a part time business together to be able to have her stay home and that took me away (in the basement)quite a bit. She turned 40, her Dad passed away a couple years ago. IMO she became addicted to Face Book. Signs of EA but I'm the type that would over react so.... I asked several times about another man maybe because my first wife cheated. I've never felt any jealousy until the last couple months when she changed everything about her life.
My question is, do you think she's still in love with me but scared to trust me?

Bstrong, my suggestion is to click on the "Notify" button and have your posts moved to "surviving an affair" thread where you will get many more people here reading this.

I see red flags with your post. Do you know that 71% of affairs are begun on Facebook? She has all the signs of an Affair.

Believe this she will not tell you if she is was involved with someone. Waywards LIE. My XH was the most honest man I knew till he started his A and he lied and lied and lied some more.

They lose all honor.

Sorry you are here.

Dude, I hate to break it to you, but your wife is definitely having an affair. It's not even a question. I know you don't want to believe it, but the quicker you accept it and start figuring out who it is, the quicker you can reclaim your marriage.

She shows ALL the classic signs:

1) Says you are controlling
2) Is addicted to facebook
3) Says "I love you but I'm not 'in love' with you"
4) Wants "space" or separation
5) Says you are "controlling"
6) Says she doesn't trust you (this is actually a projection because they know they are being untrustworthy)

Some other signs:
7) Want more privacy
8) Change their email, facebook, computer passwords
9) Go out a lot more often
10) Lose weight, buy new clothes, change their appearance.