Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 41
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 41 |
I've been away for a few days. Thankfully, I feel better. I have been mentally and physically exausted after the past 5 weeks of trying to save my marriage. Apathy set in.
I returned yesterday. My WW and I had an appointment with the MC. She thought long and hard and has decided she wants a divorce. She says that she has known this since January.
I don't have the energy to keep trying to save my marriage, when she doesn't want to save it.
Lost, confused, and I guess a little sad. Probably really really sad but I am trying to just keep and even keel.
BH: 30
WW: 30
D-Day: 07/19/10
Married: 07/2007
DD: (1)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879 |
Go to plan B!
Don't sign the papers, get into plan B ASAP!! NOW!!
Sample of a plan B letter...you can change the wordings...
Dearest WH,
I am so sorry our marriage has come to this. I recognize my part in our relationship that created an environment where your affair with POSOW was possible.(the other way puts too much blame on OW)
I have learned better ways to resolve conflict between us. I want to create a new life for both of us that meets both our needs and creates a loving home for our children. We can not do that while you are still in contact with POSOW
Until then, I have chosen to avoid seeing you or talking to you.IM has agreed to be our intermediary, and she will help in making it easy for you to see your children, as we discussed. Our only contact should be in the case of emergency about the children.
Please understand my decision to separate from you this way. It is too painful for me to live with you any longer as long as you are also with her I ask that until you are ready to end your affair with POSOW and focus on our marriage and family, you leave our home.
The way back home is simple: end all contact; be completely transparent with me with your phone, emails, and time; be truly repentant for the damage you caused; and, commit to rebuilding our marriage.
Before I will consider direct communication with you
1. You must WANT to work on our marriage
2. You must end the affair with WF
3. You will write a No Contact letter to WF and have it okayed by me and then I will send it.
4. You will leave WORPLACE (unless she has left first)
5. You will agree to follow a marriage counseling plan of my choosing.(MB OF COURSE)
6. You will take a sexually transmitted disease test and I will see the results."
I look forward to the day when we can begin to rebuild our marriage and begin the rest of our lives together as a family. I want nothing more than to be your partner through life, and your best friend and confidante in all matters - you have always been mine. We can have a stronger marriage built on trust, love, honesty, and teamwork.
I loved you from the day I met you and I continue to love you right up to this moment. I hope for and look forward to a time when we can begin a new marriage with each other.
Love,
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 41
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 41 |
Thanks for all your support over the past few weeks. It has been a rollercoaster with a lot of lows. Sadly, my marriage is not going to be saved. I filed based on her resolute decision for divorce and my realization that I can't do it alone. It takes two. Physically, mentally and emotionally, I am exhausted. :-(
Last edited by user12345; 08/31/10 02:27 PM.
BH: 30
WW: 30
D-Day: 07/19/10
Married: 07/2007
DD: (1)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879 |
Don't FILE!!
GO TO PLAN B!!
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
466
guests, and
130
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
