Folks,

I noticed an anniversary passed yesterday. I have now been officially registered for 11 years and reading here since Feb. �99. For some reason it seemed I ought to say something about the passage of this time.

As most of you know I rarely post a new thread myself. Mostly that is because I came here for a reason somewhat different than most. I was not happy in my marriage and finding this site changed my point of view tremendously. In the �old� days, there were not many different categories, just one where everyone posted. As the years have gone by the different categories have been added and I posted in many of them because �friends� started posting in many of them.

I have asked myself why do I continue to post here after all of these years. I guess it is because I am �just learning� and that is certainly true. I learn something new just about every time I come here. I also enjoy seeing people learn and grow and make their lives better than they were. I am comfortable with the Harley plan because to me it is well organized, makes sense, and frankly is simple although not easy to implement.

I also come to see what �old friends� on this site are doing and saying. Most of these �old friends� I have never met and never will. The few that I have met, both WS and BS, have turned out to be wonderful people. And that leads me to say a few things about the passage of time.

Over the years I have seen many people come here with what they thought were �unique� problems and situation. Most soon realize that their situation is not �unique� in fact it is just plan common. And I believe that realizing that many of these situations are �common� gives them hope. I have said this before and the passage of time keeps reaffirming it, but what draws me to this site is strength of the people that come here. Many are deeply hurt by the behavior of their spouse or their own behavior. Many then learn and show tremendous strength and fortitude in working on their marriage. They learn to see their marriage and the behavior of the people around them in a new perspective.

I think it is often overlooked on this site but the dynamics here seems to bring out the strength in people and it engenders hope, not false hope but real hope. This is powerful, intoxicating stuff and perhaps that is why you see many �old timers� around here �paying it forward� so to speak.

So I would like to close this by saying to one and all: �Thank you very much for teaching me so much about people along with their strengths and weaknesses. What you have taught me has strengthened my own marriage and allowed me to offer advice to my children as they enter into Holy Matrimony.�

God Bless,

JL

No, Thank YOU, JL.

JL;

SOMEBODY has to give ML a run for her post count!


Thanks for being here!

LG

great post, I think this site has been a life saver for me, to be able to have someone listen and think for me when I was incapable because of the confusion I was feeling has given me the strength I needed to work through my situation....
I'm a newbie, only about 6 months or so and hope to help others as well, just listening and sharing.......It is a very friendly place to be even though sometimes the vets like yourself let you have it....hehehe!!!
A common goal shared by all here and a friendly stranger that checks up on you is a wonderful, hopeful place to come to......
I always feel better and I have already learned so much about myself.......
Be happy and safe............
jessi

Maybe we can meet someday.
I'm in your neck of the woods most of the time now.
Does your wife ever meet MBers with you?

WOW, you see this place the same as me, JL. This is a place of great hope and opportunity to me. I am always puzzled when some say this forum is depressing. It has never been depressing to me. When a newly betrayed spouse shows up here, I am sad for him, but happy to see the opportunities to save his marriage.

It is exhilirating to see a scared, timid person become a warrior overnight and end up saving his marriage. It is satisfying to see another person get out of a bad marriage [sometimes the definition of success!] and move forward in a new life.

Thank you for being here for me when I arrived. And thank you for staying here and helping people for all these years. You are a TRUE "veteran."

Happy Anniversary!

p.s to LousyGolfer: he will nevah catch up to me!!

p.p.s. if you ever make it to Houston, dinner is on me!

JL,
I have learned quite a bit myself. Much of it from you.
Thanks,

SS

LG



She's right.

JL

JL, I thank you.

You have eloquently put into words the way that I also feel about this place. It is probably why I want to come here over and over again.

Happy Anniversary and keep learning because they say the best way to learn is to teach.

Well then get crackin' JL

You're only 29,630 post behind her!

And rival Mark in length!

Thanks for all you have contributed to make this board great, JL - here's hoping for another 11+ years!

I would just like folks to know that JL's sage advice extends well beyond marital opinions and recommendations. At one point, back when 'New, Blue...' was alive and kicking, I went through a rebellious period when I thought I didn't need to listen to what my parents -- well, specifically my dad -- had to say on my sitch.

JL took the time to give me an admonishment that was completely justified. And I appreciate it to this day.

You see, there are quite a few folks here that know their stuff when it comes to marriages. There is a much smaller group of kind-hearted individuals, though, who offer up their wisdom, knowledge, and experience as it pertains to LIFE. And it works. And it helps, if you pay attention and listen closely. JL is one of those people who has earned our attention.

JL, thanks for everything you've done for me and so many others. Our appreciation goes beyond words and a keyboard.

Thank you.

TBC

JL, I actually went back and read your first few posts (and many others) because I could not figure out what in the world you were doing here -- it was inconceivable to me that you had an A or were married to someone who had an A.

Mystery solved.

The thanks properly go the other way....

Thank you.

JL,

Thank you. The MB program and this forum often gave me hope when I saw none. The support here has been incredible. Your posts have always been thought provoking.

AM

I remember when you first started posting and I can't believe its been that long! Thank you very much for all your contributions to the MB 'family.'

Martes

JL your wise words helped me a lot. I don't know how to explain it but when I wanted to put a hole in the wall your posts would make me see the bigger picture.

Someone who I think was run out of here (myrev) asked you to post to me and I thank him for referring you and you for the help you gave me.

This site has helped me so much and it's because of people like you.

Thank you.

Folks,

You all are too kind. Really you are. I just wanted to post what this site means from my perspective and you really thank all of the folks that have helped me learn.

Mel, I do occasionally get back to your part of the country as I have relatives down there. I would love to get together if I ever get the chance.

Pep, I would love to get together. My W doesn't really know about all of this, but I have recommended this site to my children. However, in Dec. there is a large professional meeting in SF and in the past several of us here on MB have gotten together on a night to have a beer and some food.

Perhaps we could do something like that. I would enjoy meeting you and your H. I think you probably know that while MB is a topic of discussion it is mostly about getting a sense of the folks behind the key board and always an early evening.

Must do some work.

JL