YAY!! For exposing affairs and KILLING them DEAD!!!

We are sooo proud of you!!!

Humbled, you are doing GREAT. I think it was a very smart idea to tell your mother first. I understand and agree with your reasoning.

You are pushing through the fear and doing the right thing for your marriage and your children. As you continue to push through the fear and act on principle rather than confusing emotions you are going to feel stronger and more hopeful than you have since this began.

It is an exhiliarating feeling to stand up for your marriage. Another betrayed husband said that doing this changed him from a serf to a knight. He is years into a recovered marriage today.

We are here to support you all the way.

Still no calls from her. She has no idea. I have been through my mother, OMW, OM father and sister, WW sister and brother, a couple of close friends, still need to call WW other sister and mom and my family. I am so afraid right now that I've made a huge mistake! My WW is calling me now - I'm not picking up. I need some reassurance please - I'm really scared I just made an irreversible mistake!

Did you speak to OMW? What did she say???

Oh crap she's calling me like crazy - like four times in 3 minutes. I wish I hadn't done this!

Don't answer the call from your WW. Keep going through your list. Hang in there! You are fighting for you family!!

She ws really weird and reserved about it. I sent her the evidence and she said she'd look at it and do some research of her own. She was probably in shock.

Remember she is going to act like a crackhead whose pipe is being taken away. Be strong!!!!

Nope, you did not make a mistake! If her affair is so wonderful, she should have no objection about your exposure. You are just sharing the good news!

Don't answer the phone until you are finished.

When you do go home and she attacks you, just calmly smile and say "I am so sorry you are upset! i felt that I should share the good news with everyone. Can I get you something, dear?"

It will be comical, I am just warning you. BUT DO NOT LAUGH IN FRONT OF HER. If you can't control it, excuse yourself and go in the other room.


What did the OMW say?

Can you temporarily block her number? You need to stay strong through this. You yanked the bottle from the hand of an alcoholic. She's going to be spitting mad, but she'll get over it.

H, did you give her your name and phone # for followup? You are right, she is probably in shock and will have alot of followup questions. It is important for her to be able to stay in contact with you.

You are doing great! Keep up the good work!

....butting in to say you're doing great and more people than you know are praying and rooting for you and your family!

Stop!! GEt a grip on your emotions. You did the right thing. Her anger is evidence that you have inflicted a serious blow to her affair.

Keep soldiering on!!

The more angry she is, the better. It means your exposure is WORKING!

Humbled, keep your mind on the goal here. The goal is to SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE, not to avoid her anger at all cost.

Your marriage can survive her temporary anger, it cannot survive an affair.

Be calm, brave and firm. You are fighting for your marriage and your family, Sir. And doing a great job!

You're getting some excellent advice already. Exposure sucks at first, but you will see that you did the right thing. You trusted us all this morning, trust us again when we tell you that YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING HERE.

Do what everyone has suggested and remain calm. Do you have a VAR? I would suggest that you pick one up in the way home and trn it on. There have been many WW's who cry DV after exposure to try to get rid of the BH. Protect yourself. She is going to be MAD. It will be okay. She will be confused by your calmness. CALM AND ASSERTIVE. Walk away if she becomes abusive and tell her that you will talk to her when she has calmed down.

You are doing the best thing for your marriage and the best thing for yourself and your family.

Remember, in this war, against the affair, your WW has OM, you have all of us. We are there right behind you.

YA!!

You are on the RIGHT track my friend....

CONGRATULATION....

You just took the FIRST step on saving your marriage. I know you are scared right now but this was the best thing you had to do to help your marriage. There is nothing wrong with standing up for your marriage and you children...nothin!

You bet she's in shock! Make sure she has your contact info. You two need to be allies in killing this A.

Don't answer your WWs calls until you're done with exposure. You're driving the bus now, Humble. Not her. YOU say when you're ready to talk. And when you DO talk, and her head is spinning around on her neck, you stay calm. Don't let her goad you into a blow-out. Stay cool and handle this with surgical precision. When she screams "Why did you do this!?" your response is "I will do whatever it takes to save my marriage." Repeat as often as necessary.

Meanwhile - high five me, Humble! Wahoo! You done good! Took you just a wee bit to get on board, but once you did...

Oh yeah. Get ready for The Script.
"I was going to end the A but you can forget it now!"
"I was going to try to work it out with you but now we're finished!"
ad nauseum, blah blah blah. Expect it so it doesn't derail your splendid work so far. You don't want your expression to change when she's starts spouting her wayward crap. Just look at her with the patient look you would give a small child who is throwing a tantrum.

Have you contacted OM?

Update: She called me at least 25+ times while it was happening. She was PISSED. She finally left me a message saying she knew I was avoiding her and she was getting calls from everyone and needed the cellphone charger (which I had). I sent a text saying I was on th way home with it.

Got home, she was sitting quietly on the bed staring into space. She was mad, said I promised I wouldn't "hurt" OM and OMW. I said I didn't, I helped them.

She asked why I didn't let her do it her own way, I said "Somebody has to stand up for this family, and I am doing it."

She asked why I didn't let her do it herself and I noted that she had broken our rules for contact before (lame, I know, but we had agreed) - no pics, no video, no cybersex. The proof was right there.

Then she said something about ruining OM's marriage and I told her he sent me a message in FB saying his marriage would be fine. She seemed surprised. Then she informed me (and her family who called) that she was done with me and wasn't listening to anyone who suggested otherwise. She started to yell. I walked away. I said I was bringing the kids to McDonald's for Happy Meals for dinner and letting them play for awhile while she made her calls. She seemed freaked out and yelled down the stairs "You aren't even going to let me ask you questions?"

I left.

Now I'm back. I see that she and OM were writing on FB. I'll write more later.

What do I do with WW now? She wants me to explain stuff.