Be very polite and explain that her affair is over. NOW. Tell her you have exposed the affair to everyone. Everyone knows, including the OM's wife. And if she wants to stay married, then the affair needs to end.

It is very disrespectful of you and the kids to carry on her affair in the home of her husband and children so it must end.

Be firm; be calm and don't try to reason with her. Don't allow her to bait you into a fight.

you are doing just great! Hang in there, it is almost over.

You sir are a WARRIOR!

You are FIGHTING for your family!!!!

YES!!!!

Your wife will get over her anger. Now go FULL FORCE Plan A. Meet all her ENs like your life depended on it - because it DOES!

Tell her this is inappropriate and her affair discussions need to be taken out of this house. Otherwise, I would suggest unhooking the internet. Maybe take the router to work with you.

You have done great! If she was done with you...she would be gone! Did he really send you a message on FB saying his marriage would be fine?

I love the statement that YOU had ruined the OM marriage LMAO!!! What questions does she have for you?

Keep us posted. YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE!

Well, they have been talking on the cellphone quite a bit. She missed some of his calls. She is in shock - she did NOT expect me to do this.

She asked me a bunch of questions, amounting to

Why? - standing up for my family

Why did you tell EVERYONE? - I told the truth

That was my business! How could you send people my pornographic words? - if you didn't want his wife to see them, you shouldn't have been writing them.

You took away EVERYTHING! - affair killed, maybe?

You took away my boyfriend! - maybe?

His wife kicked him out! they will end up divorced! - you should be glad - you two can be together (she replied that he'll never be with her)

How could you ruin two marriages? - I didn't, the two of you did by committing adultery. I just told the truth.

Then she wrote the OMW a foggy apologetic letter begging her to take OM back because she didn't want to ruin his life. OMW said "F@#$ you."

She then informed me "Well, this didn't save your marriage! I WILL NEVER BE WITH YOU! EVER! YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS NAKED AGAIN! I HATE YOU!"


Okay, so help me out. What do I do now? How can I meet ENs now?

Do I lock down cellphones and FB now?

How long does the rage usually last? When will she calm down?

She doesn't. She told me to file for D tomorrow. I said no, I will not. She said fine, she will call lawyer tomorrow and I will have to give her money for it.

I said I love you and this family. She said f@#$ you.

Tell her no thanks.

Tell her to take her affair conversations out of this house. It is inappropriate for her to conduct her affair in your home and that of her children. Follow her around when she is on the phone and say loudly "please take your affair converstation out of this house. It is inappropriate to carry on your affair in this house."

Nope - and thanks to your foresight with the accounts, she will have to find other means of financing her 'divorce'.

They always threaten divorce, they almost never file.

You are doing GREAT!

Your answers were spot on!

Her rage WILL blow over.

I'd say kill the phone, or block OMs number, and block Facebook. When she gets mad just stay firm - you're doing what you have to to save the marriage.

Be loving, and upbeat. Try to be affectionate if she'll let you. What are, typically, her most important ENs? We can help you put together a plan for your Plan A.

Don't worry about meeting emotional needs now. That won't happen for a long time, until she gets through withdrawal. The best you can do now is avoid lovebusters.

As long as she is in the house..she is not gone. Has she made any attempt to leave? Probably not. Where would she go if she did leave? Does she have anyone who would take her in? I would ask everyone I know to PLEASE not help her by letting her stay with them. (That is if and a BIG IF she tries to leave). Make sure that she knows that if she leaves she will be leaving without the children.

As far as filing for D, you said the right thing. Tell her that you will not file and that you will not give her the money to file. If she wants to file that she will have to file alone. Tell her that if she files that you will fight her tooth and nail and will file for full custody of the children and her paying you child support.

You must keep your emotions in check. Remain pleasant around her, make yourself attractive to her. Make home a pleasant place to be. Take your children and have fun. Invite her to come along. If she does not go, you go anyway.

Is the OM telling her they will be together or is he freaking out and scared his wife will leave?

HANG IN THERE!!!!! You are doing everything right!

I sent my sister here last year when it was discovered her H was having an A. She did a nuclear exposure. The OW told him it was over but they kept texting for a couple more days.

He ranted and raged for a couple of days, the worst came the day OW stopped talking to him. My sister stayed strong, saying similar things that you are, she left the house with their D when it got really bad. He even ripped the kitchen cabinet door off at one point and said some pretty crazy stuff. But he eventually burned out and calmed down.

I think he has since told her (they are recovering nicely now) that he kept turning up the volume hoping she would give in. He is completely embarassed at his behavior now.

Just keep doing what you are doing. Stay calm and be a broken record.

Hang in there!!

Typical WW rage.
How long will it last?
About 48 hours at this temperature.

OM will dump her.
That will make her feel worse.
You might catch some fallout anger after he dumps her.

Just go about your business.
Avoid any "fighting words".

Carry a few of the following catch phrases in your pocket:

I'm sorry you are upset.
I understand feeling angry and hurt.
Can I bring you a cup of tea?
A cookie?

Her anger will self-extinguish.
The affair needed to be killed.

Good job !

This can go into the WW hall of shame ...

'

Some day she will cringe with horror at the irony of that statement.

This one goes into the WW hall of shame too.




Uhhhhhhhh .... don't write pornography to another woman's husband, and that will end that.

Humbled, NEVER refer to OM by his given name. He is never "George" when you speak of him.
ALWAYS refer to him as "Peggy's husband". (or, whatever her name is)

Thank you all so much! Today was SO hard and frightening. But you were right - I feel better now. I really do. All of a sudden instead of suffering in silence with only my WW's carefully doled out support I am now basking in love and support from my family and friends, and even WW's family! They all told me they love me today and defended me, even to her!

I will work on the EN questionnaire for her - I feel like I know them well, but it could be a good exercise. Then I will post and would appreciate help with Plan A.

I have to share something with you. Here's my FB message exchange with OM.

OM: Thanks I appreciate what you did! Its not going to get (WW) to take you back! I love my wife and I will find a way to fix it, but yours is f@#$ed up for good. You can blame me all you want, but you need to look in the mirror about who f@#$ed your marriage up. It was messed up before me. Have a good life bud! (Why is he saying this, because my WW lied to him and told him we were separated. Not true, of course)

My reply (please note he also doesn't know that my WW has already told me OMW kicked him out and may or may not take him back): If you want your wife to take YOU back, you might want to stop contacting MY wife. I don't think (OMW) is going to take your begging seriously when she finds out you're still in contact with my wife. Stay away from my family. You are the bad guy here, not me, and you have to live with that.

That felt good. POS. I have so many more things to say, every time he tries to contact her, which I think will not last long. I think the exposure just gave him a new "hobby" to work on - salvaging his shattered life. A-hole.

Humbled,

You did awesome. I know it's a little scary right now. Ride out the storm. You know what you did was right and was done for the right reasons. Stay calm. I'm proud of you.