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Is one of the signs of a PA that the sex life of the WS/BS changes? If so, does it mean that if there was no change in the sex life, there probably wasn't a PA? The reason that I ask is I ran into a friend whose H is having a EA with a coworker. (yes, I encouraged her to come here and told her some of the concepts) Anyway, some of the things she said to me gave me a feeling this could have gone PA ~ but she said she was 98% sure it had not gone PA because there was no change in their sex life and she had read up online that that's what she would see... TIA for your feedback 
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Is one of the signs of a PA that the sex life of the WS/BS changes? If so, does it mean that if there was no change in the sex life, there probably wasn't a PA? The reason that I ask is I ran into a friend whose H is having a EA with a coworker. (yes, I encouraged her to come here and told her some of the concepts) Anyway, some of the things she said to me gave me a feeling this could have gone PA ~ but she said she was 98% sure it had not gone PA because there was no change in their sex life and she had read up online that that's what she would see... TIA for your feedback My sex life didn't change during my H's PA.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Initially, our marital bed activity INCREASED in quantity and quality during H's PA.
Half a year later, the quantity and quality dramatically deteriorated.
It was very confusing, and not clear-cut at all. (for me) Your milage may vary.
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Mine did decrease quite a bit, but I thought it was because my husband had ED(erectal dysfunction). Everytime we tried, he could not perform! Silly me, I felt so bad for him!
BW(me)41
WH 40
DD19, DS16, DD14.
M19 yrs. Together 21yrs
D-Day 05/05/2010
Trying to work on M together with MB principles.
What's meant to be will always find a way.
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It was an early sign for me.
My once tender lover became a grunting, agressive one with cruelty in his face.
I remember crying from despair during sex(I don't cry much in life) the first time noticed the change.
I liken it to going from making love to my dear husband to being in a slightly mean porn video. Yuck.
Last edited by reading; 09/08/10 01:14 PM.
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Since I don't know precisely when the PA started, I can tell you that the SF didn't lessen. I think that around the time of the beginning of the PA(as far as I can tell) the SF actually INCREASED. There were signs though. There were personal grooming(if you know what I mean) and different positions suggested. Not looking at me anymore, feeling like I was a piece of meat. Then came last August when he said something during SF and I KNEW.
Ask your friend if her WH still checks out other women. The one thing I DID notice was that my WH stopped checking out the hot waitress, etc.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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...she said she was 98% sure it had not gone PA because there was no change in their sex life and she had read up online that that's what she would see... There's not necessarily any correlation whatsoever. Some guys can conduct affairs without any dropoff or change in their marital sex life. At least for about 5 & 1/2 weeks, which was the extent of my rotten experience with it...
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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Thank you everyone for the feedback! I appreciate it.
Keep this gal in your prayers. I hope she will come here soon.
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I hope she does too. It's a good place.
Mine changed because I withdrew. My H was being downright mean and nasty to me, constantly. I didn't want to be around him, he wouldn't go to counseling. Every problem was my fault.
Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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Mine changed because I withdrew. My H was being downright mean and nasty to me, constantly. I didn't want to be around him, he wouldn't go to counseling. Every problem was my fault. Another funny timing post for me today. This is exactly what happened with me. I just heard a song today for the first time in a while that I had listened to incessantly during my H's EA when I knew something was wrong but I had no idea that it was an A. "Ender Will Save Us All" (yes, I like emo, don't make fun)...the singer wrote the song because his best friend had pushed him away and he wanted desperately to reconnect with him. I was so sad and just hoping things would get better but kept my distance... Anyway, so what I am getting to is I think maybe the sex issue is going to vary for everyone partly based on how the BS responds to the WS's whacky wayward behavior...
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