Well hi,

I had a thread on here about my son, but cannot find it. So, to just relay, he is home with me now, cannot find a job. It is affecting me - both of us. I'ts not the end of the world, but I feel streesed. And know what, I feel also and more strongly now that it is my obligation to support him, still love him, still sacrafice, in terms of helping him. I have a position now with a finance firm, but I still challenged him to find a job before I found second part-time job. I feel this is the only answer I have now.

Maybe I am in the wrong place now, but need held.

Tom

Tom,

This may NOT be the proper forum for this thread, but I'll add my .02 cents just the same.

I was out of work for 7.5 months. As part of my severance agreement from my old company, I got the services of an outplacement firm. The place was great. I learned many things about a successful job search. Here are a couple of the benchmarks your son needs to strive for:

1. Don't just apply for a job online by submitting a resume. Call everybody who could help you get the job -- the hiring manager,company employees, former employees. Don't email these folks. Call them. Calling is the only way to assure them that you're serious about the job.

2. Have a meaningful talk with two hiring managers a week. Not one, not zero -- two. Marital couples need 15 hours a week of UA. He needs to talk with 2 hiring managers each week.

3. Have 30 job-search related talks with different people a week. Not the same friends or family members, 30 different people. Building a job network is a sine qua non for an effective job hunt. According to my outplacement firm, 7 in 10 successful job seekers landed their position because of networking rather than responding to an ad online or in the papers.

4. Your son needs to find a fellow jobless person he can talk with 4 to 5 times a week to discuss his job search. They should share strategies, swap stories, laugh about old bad jobs and new bad prospective jobs.

That's it for now.

-----------------------------------
Me: BH, 39 (and no longer jobless; just broke)
Her: WW, 33
Never lived together
Married 6 years; together 10 years
2 young kids (DD3 and DD1.5)
Her EA: Fall '08
She moves out of our home: Fall '09
D-day: 01/22/10
D-day #2: 06/28/10
Exposed to 12 of my WW's and the OM's friends and family members plus all of my immediate family members and some extended family
In plan A at Dr. Bill Harley's advice since May '10

Tom, I sympathize with you and your son. My poor son moved down here to Texas and it took him forever to get a job. Luckily, I was able to get him a great job with full benefits at my own company. But I was sick with worry for the longest time.

Tell him to hang in there and don't ever give up!

I am sorry, Tom. My H lost his job in March, because of the A. He works full time at getting work, but we think that people from the old organization are spreading the news of his A.

This is a tough time to be unemployed. I am glad he has you to help him!

Hi MJ, Melody, and disgestud,

Ya know what MJ, you are a trooper, meaning that in the old fashoned sense of being down to earth. I realize and understand your situation, but your advice is correct. Randy has a second interview with a retail chain store manager tomorrow night, and he has tried and he has listened. Melody, we can only help and guide, but what is so hard is that we cannot live our kids lives for them.

Well, it is up to him and I am confident. It isn't anything more than a retail restuarant job, but it is a job and a stepping stone. The reason I posted on this forum MJ, is that I feel that a troubled son or daughter is as important as a WW spouse, and that the impact is about the same if not more so.

Aside from his interview tomorrow, there are plans to apply as a walk in to park districts etc. in our area. I totally agree, the networking, walking in to apply, and definitely forget the internet as a source.

He was so happy to call his mom and his sister last night in terms of his interview. So, I cooked a meal for us, and bought him a beer, and we watched "Von Ryan's Express". He actually thought Sinatra was pretty good. And, actually, I was fortunate enought to take our family to see Sinatra at the United Center here back in 1995.

Keep doing well and trudging MJ and thank you, and you too ML.

Tom