Thanx Not. To be honest, since it was my IMs, my first thought was that something had happened to Bampot. Then I thought that it was something to do with IMs. Email IM was playing games on FB and since the regular IM is her brother, I was pretty certain that she wouldn't be playing games while she was grieving. Then my mind went to what it could be. The thought that it could be Bampot wanting to come home was the one that I figured was furthest away from reality. Then, I was CERTAIN that somehow the IMs had found out that OW was pregnant and they wanted to "warn" me. I was actually getting myself "okay" with that outcome. Thinking about that now still makes my stomach turn. I was actually relieved that it was what it was.

Today, after I dropped the kiddos off at school, I went to visit my friend in the hospital. I got the room number from the first IM. I walked into the hospital, up the stairs and looked for the room. I found the room but they were changing the bedding for the other lady in the room and the curtain was still around my friend's bed. I decided I would go back to the front door and sit on a bench waiting for a few minutes until my friend was ready for a visitor. I was sitting there when I saw a young man go to the information desk. I watched him ask the info lady(I don't know what made me watch him). Then I heard him ask for my friend's room number. They said that they didn't have anyone by that name. I walked up to him and said, "Excuse me, are you IMs son?" He said, "Yes." I said, "I am Scotty, I am sure your mom has talked about me." He said, "yes, she did. Do you know where she is?" I walked with him up to her room and as we walked in I said, "Look who I found." She was so happy. I even brought her some crossword puzzles books, sudoku, and a My Little Pony colouring book(she is in her 60s so I figured she would get a good laugh). She did have a good laugh. I think I am going to bring her a tiara and some mardi gras beads next time.

So glad your friend is going to be Ok, phone calls like that are no fun. Will probably need some assistance after the hospital stay as well, depending on the repair. Your a good friend to have Scotty, make sure you encourage them to keep up with their therapy to get home sooner.

Just saying hi Scotty, as usual, you are doing fine and rocking..

Well, just a minor update. My brother's birthday was on Wednesday. This is the first of his birthdays in 32 years that I have not been there for. I am in a semi Plan B. There was no formal letter or anything like that, I just keep my distance. If I see him, I avoid him. I don't make eye contact and I won't talk to him. My sister called me that day and asked me if I needed a ride to my parent's house for the party. I said, "Nope. You remember the last time we were in the same room." She said, "Oh yea, nevermind. DS10 did mention that you weren't going to be coming." She was watching my kids for me, so they went to the party.

Now, an "ARGH Bampot drives me nutty moment." Yesterday, I had to work and then the kiddos had an open house at their school. We didn't get home until almost 7pm. I listened to the answering machine and it said, "Hi this message is for Bampot. This is Joe, from pool league. Just wanted to let you know....." That's when I stopped listening. Why did this drive me nutty? It is because Bampot gave out my home number as HIS home phone number. What a turd. I am NOT passing on the message. He doesn't live here. It's just like the times I get messages for other people who don't live here, delete, delete, delete. There, I am done with that now.

I love it that you just deleted the message and went on with life. ((Scotty))

My mom told me that I should have told DSx2 to tell Bampot. I said, "Uh, NO. Bampot hasn't lived there for 9 months(TODAY ) so why would I even acknowledge it. He can get his messages another way. I am NOT his secretary."

My anniversary is on Monday. I am a little saddened by that. I will get through though. I feel stronger and stronger(as well as happier) every day.

Maybe your WH will do like my XH and wish you a 'Happy Anniversary!!!'

I doubt it but who knows. HAHAHAHA. I am going out with some girlfriends to watch a show called, "Spirit of the dance" at the casino. My mom got free tickets. I figured I may as well celebrate MY special day, even if turdman isn't around. I am full of pizz and vinegar today for some reason. I apologixe in advance for any weirdo posts today.

So, the boys and I were playing a board game(Clue carnival) and they say, "Oh BTW mommy, daddy wants us to sleep over there next time. In 2 weeks." I say, "he needs to get a message to the IMs not tell me through you two." They say, "Yea, he is going to(thanx for the head's up boys )." I ask, "What do you want to do? Do you want to sleep at OW's house?" They say, "Yea, we will sleep with Daddy in the spare room(you remember the one Bampot was supposed to be staying in LOL) on an air mattress." I knew this would come up soon.

On one hand, I don't want my kiddos to see OW any more than they have to already. On another hand, I want OW to see more of my kiddos(purely out of a frustration thing). Next, I DO want my kiddos to have more time with Bampot. They said that they are only talking about that ONE weekend for now. I think I am going to let them go. I believe that Bampot is going to want me to send clothes, etc. I will NOT. This isn't just some sleepover, this is their father taking them overnight. He should have some clothes there for them anyways. I am going to figure out all of the angles before the time comes so I will be prepared.

BTW, I haven't had a "My kids say the darndest things" in awhile. The kiddos came home and were starving. I asked them what they had for dinner. They say, "Daddy cooked us pizza." I say, "Daddy takes good care of you, eh?" DS10 says, "He would take better care of me if he came home." "Absolutely."

How about, "He would take better care of me if he took care of you Mommy"

Thats what they are thinking, the little troopers...

You rock scotty

Happy anniversary to you anyway, scotty. You and your boys ROCK!

Happy Anniversary to you Scotty, I am glad you are going to enjoy YOUR day with special friends.
Stay strong, I will be thinking of you tomorrow!!!

Just ANOTHER shining EXAMPLE of how to handle Plan B......

I am 100% proud of you......

Not

ps....{{{{{{{Scottie}}}}}}

t/j

{{{{{STB4}}}}}}

I saw you popped in, so I wanted to hand ya a hug...Hope all is good for you....and your little one....

Not

t/j over

Well, I made it through today better than I thought I ever would. It is good to know that I have the best support system around. Thank you.

The show was AMAZING. I tried very hard NOT to talk about Bampot. I only thought about him a few times while we were out. Had to get home to get the kiddos to bed as they were at my Mom's house.

Glad you enjoyed the show Scotty.

Its not so bad being alone without the drama is it Scotty? There are even times when everything seems alright too huh?

I know it is dif because with you the withdrawl is from him going into an affair and you still can recover, so love is possible again and that means the constant question. Its tougher going that way too, and then there are the kiddos.

My point is you have friends that you can spend time with and that goes a long way towards healing. They challange you and show you at the same time that you can still trust some of your heart to someone. What is better in life? To have real freinds or those who use you? Our best freind spouses who lose thier mind and way of course will be what really we want to restore and other friends are not the same, but at least we are not so lonely as they share our pain. Instead of dening we have it or a right to have it.

I know and you do too that my sitch got to a very unhealthy point and it was good that the relationship ended because it was destroying the life of everyone in the family. It didn't have to end in the loss of her life. I allways hoped for recovery for her and of course of us, and I held on the best I knew how. But I can't get over, (yet), that if I hadn't crumbled in my own convictions maybe I could have avoided her falling so deep into her despair. Its understandable because I isolated myself and didn't have support but still..understandable is not an excuse to me, so I am still struggling with the guilt of my weakness. It would have been better to me,(although frustrating and lonely as it is, and was in my experience), to be with this women with all her problems as she struggled with blaming me for all of them because I was such a hardass about behaviuor and boundarys.

Its funny how she first loved and felt safe with me because of those and called me her rock, but when my value, which was defined by her own mind, lost its appeal those things were bars that held her back. I regret not holding our relationship to a higher standard and instead waiting for it to develop because. well, everything I did eventually meant nothing. Such as it is if you try to help people avoid the consequences of thier mistakes and especially painful it is personnally to try to take them on yourself. I should have continued making her own her own crap, and calling her on it when she fell short. Many say it was like trying to raise a child for me when I was trying to live in the real world. I guess that is part of the deal when people have affairs and live in escapism. They revert to childish ways.

Its a humbling experience and I have learned now I am not that special that I can't do anything without friends. Anything worthwhile anyway is a waste without relationship to people anyway IMO.

Even in that messed up relationship which I held onto hope and faith it is something I am going thru withdrawl with. Tells you how important personal boundaries are and the need to protect them doesn't it?

I am going back albeit slowly to who I was, a person who likes people and enjoys socializing as I find some value in myself and in life as it pertains to people. Being a person with conviction and guts was who I was and aspired to be. Its not gender specific, but to me it is what a man is, and should be. The withdrawl, from a toxic situation, partially my own fault, is going well because of friends and my belief in Gods love for all of us. As mel pointed out once the symbol on top of the page refers to God and looking up. Reminds me of the trinity. Personnally you just have to follow the principles of MB to have a good marriage and you don't have to study the scriptures to get the benifet but they all come from the same source IMO.

So I went on again, lol well thats me, lots of words. I mainly was supposed to just congtratulate you on your personal recovery and identify with the withdrawl benifets of freinds and time. I am getting there too.

Not

t/j

thanks not we are doing awesome!!!! she just turned 3 (9/19) can you believe it time sure does fly..

btw back at ya!

end t/j

Scotty i know how you feel my xanniversary you could say was the 9/18th so i totally get how you feel there!!! you did awesome and sounds like you had a blast!! keep up the awesome work