hi everyone new here so try to bear with me. could really use some sound advice as i hav'nt got a clue. i will start with the short version. i discovered my wifes affair 10 april this year she stayed saying she wanted to work things out for a month, but my anger and i suppose a lack of understanding about how to deal with it meant that she left me to live with her family. during the next month i was going insane with worry ,doing the text messages 30-40 times a day turning up at her work, you know the kind of thing. she grew sick of this and unbeknown to me at the time started seeing the other guy again, telling me it was over no way back. she eventually moved in with him some time in june. my manic behaviour slowed a little at this point too, although i had no idea see was living with the guy at this point. anyway skip forward another month i hadnt spoken to her in a while she had all but stopped taking my calls and ignoring my texts. i get a call from her out of the blue saying how unhappy she was that she missed me and had made a mistake, and we started to see each other behind the other guys back as she said she didnt want to move back home and be in the same situation as before, but was clear that she wanted to work things out. we agreed that we should take things slowly, and she was taking a 6 month lease on a different property and moving out of his place. she moved on aug 6th finished with him and everything seemed to be fine we were talking openly about things getting on great so i thought. last week i caught her out she had spent the night with the other guy . now i am still willing to try and work it out as i love her very much and really want to keep our family together( we have two sons). but since i found her out she has gone back to ignoring me again. we had one big dicussion about it tho which she basically said that "she loved me but didnt know if it was enough". she cant stop thinking about him and that he is the one she wants to be with, but still loves me too. and today she has told me that its over between us. can someone really walk out on 19 years(married for 10) and 2 children over someone they have known for only a couple of months? isuppose what im asking everyone is there a way back or should i just accept it and try to move on. i know this is a basic version of events and that im not very good at writing things down.

Sorry you find yourself here and welcome. There is a thread that I started to help guide newly betrayed spouses around his site. There is a lot of information on here so take your time and ask questions whenever they arise.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2370240#Post2370240


Do you know who OM is? How did your WW meet OM? Does she work with him? Is OM married?

You are going to have to expose this affair to everyone, including your children. How old are your children? You will need to expose this to OM's family as well.

yes know him only to well its my wifes step brother believe it or not. thats why i felt it safe for them to go ice skating together where all this started, he is not married. kids are 13 11 told them whats happening both are angry with her ,and she knows it. her family dont seem to care as long as she is happy. he is the son of her mums second husband and weve known him 10 years, he knows the kids which makes this all the more sickening.