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I just wanted to take a minute and rant about Facebook. Hear me when I say that there is SOME good about Facebook, if used properly, but for the most part....I hate FACEBOOK. I used Facebook when I was active in my emotional A. I kept up with OM and what he was doing. It is OF THE DEVIL if you really want to know the truth. It causes major drama for our teens. Honestly, if people spent as much time working on their marriages as they do on Facebook.....this board would be empty. I finally came in a realization that Facebook is mostly for self absorbed people who really think that others REALLY CARE what they are doing 24/7 and for putting updates and random quotes so that others say..."wonder what they meant by "Loving my life"....blah blah blah. I think if married people have Facebook it should be a joint account that both have access to. So what do others here think about Facebook.
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I agree, used correctly is fine. But most people who are on FB are full of themselves. I can go and on about the type of person that regularly updates her FB. Many married friends are on it and they display quite a wayward behavior. I have a friend who has her own account and she is always in pics with other men doing all kids of sports activities with them. NEVER once I saw her in a pic with her H. Yet another, who hooks up with ex girlfriends who regularly post on his wall. Are we too narrow minded? I do not know... blessing
atena
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That was one of the rules for recovery for me and H. NO FACEBOOK. Before, I stayed on it all the time. Although I miss the contact with classmates and friends that I do not see often, I realize that is a situation I cannot handle so I more than agree to never have Facebook.
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It's all about boundaries. I personally love FB because it keeps me in touch with my children and other relatives. I'm also hooked on the games. My DH and I have separate accounts but both have access to each other's accounts anytime we want.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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It's all about boundaries. I personally love FB because it keeps me in touch with my children and other relatives. I'm also hooked on the games. My DH and I have separate accounts but both have access to each other's accounts anytime we want. I agree it is all about boundries. I love FB. My only friends are ones that I know in person or they are family members. I guess it is strange that I feel this way about FB since that is where my FWH's EA started. I don't blame FB for his EA, I blame him and OW.
BS - 45 - Me FWH - 42 DS 19 mine from previous marriage DD 17 Mine from previous marriage
A - Aug - Nov 09 DD1 - Nov 20 09 DD2 - APR 30 10 NC - APR 10
In Recovery
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One of my FB friends is a cute, little Muslim mother from Turkey. She wanted a Farmville neighbor. At least I hope that's who she is and what she wants. If you ever hear I've been blown up or beheaded, you'll know I was wrong!
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I am of the same mind as Princess meg, It keeps me in touch with my kids and family and friends. I love the games...hhhmmmmm Queenie, PM My only issue is that I like Bejewed Blitz way too much but it is better than watching television. I know there are many A caused by FB and MS; I have the same boundaries that I hold myself accountable for as I do in "real life". I am looking forward to the new film coming out about the creator of FB and how he created it from nothing. Love technology as long as it is used in a postive way.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years D17, D30 alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08 Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also) H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08 Plan B 1/09 D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I am looking forward to the new film coming out about the creator of FB and how he created it from nothing. Me too! Maybe we can come up with our own idea. I know! Start a site and call it FaceSpace.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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My only issue is that I like Bejewed Blitz way too much but it is better than watching television. ME TOO! It's a problem ~ LOL! I don't socialize on FB too much, but I will say it is awesome if you have to do high school reunions ~ we have a reunion page and this is gonna be so much easier than trying to find everyone's snailmail addresses like we had to do for the last one...
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I think you can look at Facebook like you would any thing--the majority of people will use it in an acceptible manner but a small portion will abuse it. Much like alcohol or on-line games. If someone has poor boundaries or problems with impulse control, they should abstain or be very careful when using it.
I think it is important to be aware of the potential problems so any destructive behavior can be dealt with. People may get sucked into a Facebook affair because they don't realize what's happening until too late. But that doesn't mean that everyone who uses Facebook will fall into an affair.
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Absolutely LOVE FB. I don't go on as often anymore and I really don't play any of the games anymore. Doesn't mean that I won't again, just found other things to do online(like taking courses). I do have my own personal boundaries about not using chat programs. My WH HATED FB and wasn't going to come on until I wanted to be able to write that I was married to WH. Then, when I discovered the A, he deactivated his account. It is a good way to catch up with family all over the world and catch up with old friends. You need to have STRICT boundaries though. It's the same as anywhere. Strong boundaries.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I think that you can look at FB just the same way you look at the use of TV. Many a debate has been conducted about kids and people in general learning bad things from TV but there are many people who learn good things from it. I am of the opinion that those who purportedly get the bad already had a predisposition to do bad, TV offers them the tool to give effect to the bad they want to do. Same can be said for the internet/computer-but look at all the good WE posters are getting from it. Think about it, do you really believe that IT cam make a person commit murder? I think not, it is something deep within you that enables a person to do that. Just a thought!!!
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Also it's a great tool for us parents whose children are on it. I am FB friends with my daughter and I like to monitor what she's up to on there...
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I agree with you, my DD is away at school and its an easy way for us to keep in touch-not to mention cheap!!! But the other part of it is that I enjoy FB, finding old friends, playing games, hell it breaks up any monotony in my day.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Several people on this thread are my Farmneighbors.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I think if married people have Facebook it should be a joint account that both have access to. So what do others here think about Facebook. I think I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Several people on this thread are my Farmneighbors. and yore momma is my top facebook friend!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I agree, it is soo easy to get on the OM'S facebook. I think it took me about 4 months to decide if I wanted it, but my business was growing and my husband (wheels) thought it might be a good way to keep all of my customers in touch with new products etc.. So far it has been 2 months and it has been OK, but still I only allow myself about 10 min a day to post new products and read messages. Wheels has ALL access, all messages goes to HIS email and phone, all of the OM are blocked, and there is a LADIES ONLY rule
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and yore momma is my top facebook friend! I'm touched, although usually people pronounce it "tetched". I'd be even more touched at this encomium if I didn't know that you just like that I find and post all those incendiary political links for you so you don't have to do it yourself! tl
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I'd be even more touched at this encomium if I didn't know that you just like that I find and post all those incendiary political links for you so you don't have to do it yourself! tl ok, I do love those links, I admit it!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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