What about OM's CS case, is there any news on that?

We have not done any kid introductions yet. I'm still taking it slow with her. I forsee her having no problem with the kids.

Prepare for VENOM when you do, though. Because you know XW won't like having another woman around *Her* kids.

tl

Always nice to see a fellow BS have good things happen!!

Very happy for you, PSU. Enjoy!

Thanks for the update. Can't wait till OM gets caught up with and has to pay CS.

PSUB,

Great news on the lady. I�m right there with you.

I waited at least 6 months before introducing my kids to my current fianc�. I really recommend that you wait about as long. It�s a good idea for them and for you. I made the mistake of introducing someone I had just started dating to my kids. I ended up dumping her after only two months. Kids as young as ours attach quickly. It�s a good idea to wait as long as possible to introduce someone to them.

But I�m happy for you.

Hey guys. I haven't updated in awhile so I decided to give it a whirl. Things have cooled down with the lady friend and I. She wasn't ready for a serious relationship so we slowed things down. Like me, she still has loose ends to tie up for her divorce and we both decided it was better for us to hang out, talk, but no SF or any serious relationship stuff until everything is behind us.

In the blood is thicker than water category, I've been getting a lot of junk from the ex inlaws lately. Back in June, the exWW and I were going back and forth via email on some changes to the schedule. ExWW has been blind CC'g her mom and sister on these and I got a nice lecture from exMIL about the pettiness of asking for time in return for switching the schedule. Then, ex SIL sent a pretty scathing email insinuating that the kids were very uncomfortable at the Devon Horse Show when they found out I was there. All I did was sit at the rail in a crowd, took pictures of DD5, and left. I didn�t talk to anyone, I did wave to DD5 so she knew I was there.

To me, this was totally uncalled for as how the heck does she know why the kids were uncomfortable? Plus, it isn�t exactly a good way to ENCOURAGE both parents to attend activities with the kids. While we were going back and forth in email, the emails were civil, no name calling, etc and we came to an agreement on the change in schedule. I thought the comments from her family were totally uncalled for because neither one of us really did anything to warrant them.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, exWW was found in contempt for the second time in 5 months for failing to follow the support order. The exWW and I were going back and forth on email about her reimbursing me for summer camp for the kids (she was found in contempt for not paying her share of daycare / summer camp). Ex Sil replied via email that I was being a three letter word for donkey and was not thinking about what is best for the kids and was being a bad father.

I was like WTF? Her sister was the one found in contempt twice for not following the support order. Every dollar that I spend in excess of the support order is less that I have to support the kids. My ex inlaws are very good at blameshifting and exSIL is in a lot of ways worse than EXWW with her temper. They always resort to name calling and emotional blackmail when they are wrong and want to be right. I didn�t engage my exSIL because it really isn�t her business.

On the divorce front, I have a pending motion to dismiss alimony and property division. Back in January, the judge had ordered her to provide discovery or risk having alimony dismissed and other sanctions. The case was continued so she was saved in a sense in January. Since she didn�t answer my discovery request that I sent her in June, I filed a motion to have everything dismissed based on the previous order. We have a good chance of getting the alimony dismissed and perhaps even property division.

She has not provided me with ANY income, expense, assets, etc for my discovery. So, if she does not provide this before the hearing in September, I�ll be at a huge disadvantage. Keep your fingers crossed that it is dismissed!

You're right, PSU. Blood IS thicker than water. It can cause people to do insame things, too. Sorry to hear that, but you just keep on being the best darned dad you can.
Probably a good idea to keep things cool with the lady friend with all this going on. Plus, she probably has similar issues on her own side. You're very wise.

Thanks for the update.

Hopes things go your way in court.

WW still with OM?

How has the other state moved to get back CS from the OM going?

[/quote] Devon Horse Show [/quote]

I don't believe i have posted to you before but i have read just most of your story at one point or another over the last year. I only wanted to comment that this is a small world i grew up around this place and used to work there every year. Most people where i live now have never heard of it and don't quite understand what it's about. Just thought it was kinda funny was all. Sorry to hear about your ex-IL. Hopefully this will all be finished will keep all my fingers and toes crossed for ya.

I've noticed that family hangs on to the resentment long after we, the ones who fought the fight, have moved on.

I do stuff now to avoid arguments and conflicts with my ex. The family, however, chimes in often with, "you should have said 'x' to her!"

Yet saying such things only serves to drive up my own blood pressure and falls on deaf ears.

STB4 - both exWW and I grew up around that area too. This was DD5's last year to do the leadline. Her family likes to give their two cents - my folks have pretty much left it alone and are are sounding board.

FOr example, my exSIL is an attorney. She actually put it in email to Lisa and I to not follow the judge's orders for discovery! She felt my request was too overburdensome. Yet, it was SOP for alimony in my state.

Is this the same SIL that was on your side during the divorce?

Why are they changing their tune. Did you have a fight?

Is this the same SIL that was on your side during the divorce?

Why are they changing their tune. Did you have a fight?

Yes it is. They were on my side when everything was focused on the affair. Now that we are doing property division and alimony, they are trying to get the best deal for exWW. They come from the school that the wife should get everything because that's what happened in their mother's and grandmother's divorce.

Grats on your progress PSU and your wisdom in waiting in the new relationship.

Make ya wonder does SIL and the ILs haveanything else better to do?

I will pray for things to go your way.

Hey guys! We have a week to go until the alimony hearing and quite frankly, the stress has gotten to me to the point where I had a panic attack at work the other day and passed out! More than anything, it was my body telling me something.

The last 6 weeks or so have been a nightmare - exWW has been pulling crap with visitation and the schools in the lead up to the hearing. To say it hasn't been stressful is an understatement.

With the schools, exWW had gotten into an argument with the principal at the school DD5 was registered for kindergarten. The principal basically said if she didn't like the curriculum, she can put DD5 into the public school.
So, we had a meeting at her mother�s house to discuss the schooling. Needless to say, exWW felt she needed to bring POSOM as her negotiating partner. More than anything, it was to piss me off. Of course, exWW was on the warpath and at one point, started chewing me out so bad that exMIL had to throw exWW against the wall to get her to calm down. After she calmed down, we had agreed to put the kids in the public school and exWW said she would be able to get a significant discount on daycare since she only makes 20K a year (more on this later).

For the alimony and property division, exWW had retained a lawyer. If you all recall, exWW has been dragging her feet on discovery � she didn�t want to hand over her income, expense, or lease information. Finally, I received the stuff I was expecting over the last couple of weeks. Turns out:

1. ExWW is on track to make $66-$72K this year from commissions from her job! This is a lot more than the 20K she�s been telling EVERYONE including the schools, the courts, etc. So, I had to go through the drama of two contempt hearings for her not paying daycare when she has been making DOUBLE what the child support order was based on! Of course, I immediately filed a support modification since her income will take my monthly obligation from $750/mo to about $50/mo.

2. Her lease information was interesting to say the least. She and POSOM signed a lease on 6/16/08 (six weeks before she asked for a divorce and right when POSOM moved to the property) stating he was to live on the farm for a year in return for barnwork and other duties. The kicker? I wasn�t a cosigner on the lease! WTF?!?!?!?! My understanding was that his stay on the property was only temporary and not a year. But, it helps the alimony in that it proves that he was living on the property , not paying MONEY for rent, and was not contributing to his expenses.

3. She�s been spending on AVERAGE $800 on feed, hay, and a horse trailer for her horses. This is the same person that has been crying poor to the court and anyone else who would listen to her that she is destitute.

SO, all the preparation for the alimony hearing has brought back a lot of old memories that were beginning to be put behind me. Plus, knowing I�ve been throwing $750 per month in CS that she is techinically not entitled to has me PO�d to no end. The possibility of alimony just makes me nauseous and I think that�s why I had the panic attack. In fact, I�ve lost 15 pounds in the last two months with the anxiety. Luckily, my doc put me back on Lexapro and I�ve been feeling better the last few days. Keep your fingers crossed that it's dismissed! I have a pretty good chance of that outcome!

Wow! I hope it goes your way. Your WXW is a pieceof work.