I have been married for almost 2 years now. Met my wife 5 months before we got married. She had been removed from her �psycho� foster parents who had brain washed her to believe in concepts that are completely opposite to what you and I believe in. Concepts like it is evil to say someone looks cute or it is evil for a woman to wear a pair of jeans. At the time I didn't realized what the 8 years under her "psycho" foster dad had turned her into. She completely trusted this guy like a God and never said a word to him even when he touched her wrongly. She talked to him like any good daughter would to her dad. She told him things that he should have referred her to her foster mom. you know, becoming a teenager. The entire family lived in an isolated country home and they barely interacted with the rest of the world. Just thought I should give a little background before I start...

As much as I know now, I believe it was probably the worse decision to take by marrying my wife five years after she had been removed from the house without any kind of psychological help. First few months of the marriage was great and then she started working. About seven months later I started working longer hours to help with our relocation to a more expensive city, then started going bad. She brought up the idea of Divorce because I wasn't giving her the attention she needed. I explained the reason why I was working overtime and promised to cut down my hours and spend more time on our marriage. Once we agreed to make it work my sweet angle tells me she had had an affair with two guys from her work. Two black guys (no offence, I'm black my self). And they knew each other. The best explanation I got from my wife was, she was attracted to the way the they dealt with little kids. Sad part of the story was she knew the guys had girlfriends and she was so curious she slept with them without protection. Possibly for her own greedy reasons since we had been trying to conceive in about a year with no luck. She is on her fourth job after the first incident and for each job she has found a black guy attractive to the extent of bring desires from the past.

I completely forgave her because the more I got know her trend of thought the more I realized how innocent and naive she was. I had my freedom when I was a teenager to explore and I did. She had her opportunity when she was 25 and married. Just to make me feel better. I tried to build a better relationship but it mostly feels like dealing with a selfish twelve years old. We fight when I talk about work and I mention a female co-worker's name. She's so different in her way of thinking our new friends are always our old friends by the next day. There's always something about someone that isn�t right. I suggested she spoke with a counselor and she did for a while but recently it has become secondary everything else. I am not the most emotional guy on earth, but when you teach me I don't forget. I may be slow but I will not forget, I will learn. I speak softly and never accuse her of anything. Anytime I start a conversation to help us communicate we end with her screaming. According to her that's the best way she communicates when she angry. I feel we need to see the counselor more often and hopefully she starts seeing things more maturely and not so innocently then we can be the best couples ever. I wouldn't have to tell her if you are married, you have no reason to constantly be texting a guy more than ten times a day because you may sending the wrong signal. I wouldn't have to spend days convincing her that I don't think sexual whenever there's a beautiful white girl on the TV.

She will complain about her weight and yet when I suggest we go workout she will refuse if day light I up. Complain she�s not getting "us" time when we have plan on going bed at 10 but right at 9 she wants to go to bed. Sometimes, it feels dropping everything in my world just we can spend the whole time we are together cuddling. Some cuddling is always good but if we going to cuddle everyday, when are going to take care of those bills and keep the house clean. It feels like I�m ready to quit. I hate to think about divorce but now it feels like nothing is left in the bank. When is it enough?

wis - I see a lot of dysfunction on BOTH your and your wife's side of this story. You continually Disrespectfully Judge her. You have an air of superiority over her.

It sounds like your wife has a need for Family Commitment that you aren't providing.

That being said, her adulteries are a HUGE issue that you don't just 'forgive' and move on from. I would suggest that you get this thread moved to the Surviving an Affair forum, you get the book Surviving an Affair and you start addressing her infidelity head on.

As for calling it quits - it is your call as to when to do that. If you wife is unrepentant and not willing to do the work recovery requires, then if you don't leave you will be continually abused.

Also, as you are young, and only married a short time you may decide to leave this marriage. That is your right, but marriages CAN recover from infidelity if certain things are done. This website and the Marriage Builders resources can help you achieve that.

Please move this thread and read all you can here.

@ Vib. I find it interesting by your post "You continually Disrespectfully Judge her. You have an air of superiority over her." I am actually not even close to that. I making judgements base what I have seen and I don't see them as faults instead I see them as an opportunity for us build our relationship together. At least, the counselor makes her understand my efforts are for the best. I may have sounded like the bossy husband. Thanks for your response and I have move this to Surviving an Affair.

Until you see that you ARE disrespectfully judging her, you will not make progress. It doesn't matter if you see them as character flaws or opportunity for growth, they are DISRESPECTFUL Judgements. But really, that discussion is a long way in the future. Right now you need to deal with the affairs. I'll 2x4 you over DJs when that has been resolved.

I think the time to call it quits is now.

You've only been married 2 years, you don't have kids, your wife has already had unprotected sex with 2 guys (that she's admitted to), and she appears to have deep set psychological issues from her foster family.

File for divorce on the grounds of adultery (if such a thing exists in your jurisdiction). It normally doesn't do anything to property division but it can eliminate waiting periods. Get out as fast as you can.

I'm with Bitbucket on this one. Your wife is unfit to be your wife or a mother right now. The longer you stay married to her, the more likely she will bring a child into the world, and then life gets really messy. Not to mention that there is a good chance you'll end up with Herpes because she's has little to no impulse control. HIV is unlikely but possible, too.