I am venturing away from SAA in search of recommendations, firsthand experience, advice, general info, etc., etc., etc.

DH and I would like to take our DS1 (a newly-minted 5-year-old!) to get checked out. I think we just need a basic assessment, and a plan to help us help him when DS1 is having a hard time. (He is extremely sensitive/emotional. He has high expectations, and cries at the drop of a hat. He worries about getting into trouble, and compulsively tells us seemingly innocuous things - "Oops, I touched the door!." Etc.)

Question 1, I suppose: Psychiatrist or psychologist? Does it make a difference?

How do I know the doc is good? I mean, good like the Harleys are good, not "good" like everyone says most M counselors are who have no idea how to counsel to save a M.

What questions should I ask to sort of "interview" the doc?

Any firsthand recommendations in the Midwest?

Anything at all?

Family hasn't been too helpful with this, and I've kept friendships pretty limited and superficial, so you guys were the first "reliable" resource I thought to ask.

I appreciate any help the great MB community can provide! Thanks in advance!

Hi Mrs. V

The best place to start is with your regular pediatrician. Usually, they have to do an initial assessment and they can refer you to the right person. As far as the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist is the severity of whatever you may be dealing with.

A psychologist deals with behavioral issues-including obsessive/compulsive type behavior. Many psychologists are PhD's, but they don't prescribe medication. If medication is needed, they work with the referring doctor or a psychiatrist.

A psychiatrist deals with actual diseases of the brain that affect behavior(bi-polar/etc). Psychiatrists are medical doctors and, as such, can prescribe medication for certain conditions.

As far as knowing if a psychologist or psychiatrist is good-I'd ask your pediatrician and his/her nurse for the ones they would recommend. If your DS is in school, the school counselor also may be able to recommend someone.

I hope this helps-

I did an exhaustive google search. I'm lucky (?) enough to live in a large metropolitan area, and found several sites with messageboards where parents could swap information about good pediatricians, psychologists, day care providers, low cost activities for kids, and so on. The psychologist we got for DS6 came highly recommended, and we're satisfied with the results we've seen so far.

I personally would NOT talk to the school counselor, or let anyone at your child's school know that he is in or seeking counseling. We follow this practice with DS6 because we do not want him getting on some 'troubled children list' at the school, and receiving unwanted attention for the next 12 years.

I agree with bitbucket about the school. I hate saying that as a teacher, but schools LOVE to label.

I also think the pediatrician is a good start. I lean toward a psychologist for kids because it takes medication out of the picture unless they are referred. There ARE some kids out there who needs it, but it would be a last resort for me with someone so young.

Thank you so much, johnstwin, bitbucket, luri. I have actually already spoken with his teacher a bit about his emotional stuff - the tears, the worrying about trivial things, etc. She seems really great, and I hope he's not going to be labeled or adversely affected by my talking to his teacher... One more thing to worry about But good advice to know here on out, thank you.

We have a peds appt. set up for next week, so I think I'll bring it up then. I hadn't even thought to check w/ his pediatrician, and I do know they have mental health services available through both the insurance and the medical group. I will see what the pediatrician has to say.

Google search is off to a decent start, though I need to hone the results - message boards are a great start, thank you for that reference, bitbucket.

Hopefully we can get this sorted out. Well, the real hope is that there is no "this" at all, and that DS5 is going through normal stuff. (Normal stuff that just seems a little extreme when combined with his emotional neediness.) In which case, I hope they give me a plan to better parent this highly sensitive bundle of energy!

Thanks again for the suggestions, and please let me know if there is anything else!

I think talking to his teacher is a good idea. It's just involving the "system" in getting him tested, etc. that you have to be cautious about. Once they get in your hair, it's hard to get them out.

I don't know if this helps, but my DD was a lot like that as a 5 year old. Her K teacher actually came to us very concerned. As she grew, she became more confident and balanced in her sensitivity. So age might help too. She's a pretty cool 14 year old if I do say so myself.

Thanks, luri, that gives me hope! Not that I'm hopeless, and I'm sure this is all a case of "He's totally fine, here's how you can parent better," etc.

Luri, is there anything you guys did in particular to encourage or discourage character traits? Promote confidence, e.g.?

All bias aside, DS5 is a rather awesome little boy. I just want to make sure he's reaching his full potential. (Oy, that sounds like a bad sales line for some kids' computerized learning something or other program...)