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Just a little journal update.

Feel more Yang than Yin these days. Going into the light and feeling stronger in spite of being surrounded by aliens.

My birthday end of this week. How did I get to this age? Ouch. faint I have plans with friends and DD17 is taking me out for lunch too.

Continuing to be positive in areas of my life that I can. Working hard at the gym to dispel bad energy and build endorphins and trying a new diet to get the scale to start moving down again.

Working on my finances and figuring out a doable plan that will help get DD through college and give enough to live.

Court is being scheduled the end of this month for enforcement of the XH D decree. Divorce the gift that keeps on giving. Putting on my shield of armor and working on some options with the attorney and keeping my sanity.

While I am Yanging, XH is Yin...not a good place..

Excuse me I am going to listen for the karma bus which is starting to shift gears as it tries to pull up the hill that is turning into a mountain.








Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Well it is Friday.

Today is 16 months since DD17 has seen XH with no end in sight. She continues to be in her own very dark plan B. He left a card and gift card for her in August for her birthday under the doormat and she sent him an email to thank him but that is it. I continue to watch for signs of depression, acting out, or any substance abuse problems because of the destruction that D does to the children but I thank God every day she is thriving.

I am very proud of her (even those days when she is a typical teenager). She is pulling honor grades, has a BF that is a nice guy and very respectful, responsibile. My biggest complaint is I wish she would just clean her room.

I know XH is in the fog with PP, but it still amazes me that he has not seen his DD all of this time and "just blames me for poisoning her". They both just continue to drink heavily, plan for the Affairage in Vegas, and spend money like there is no tomorrow and just "declare bankruptcy" and play that angle.

If you knew this man before not even I could imagine he would go this low. We have court the end of this month for Decree enforcement and I would not be surprised if he "just didn't show up". I am not askig for anything except what was agreed. It makes me sad that I am the only one who remembers the old H and the man he was.

Jus musings on a Friday afternoon.

I do have plans this weekend. It is my birthday tomorrow and a poker game group is coming over and DD is taking me out Sunday for lunch. I am blessed for what I have but still get those tugs of the heart.

Everyone have a good weekend.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Happy early birthday Hope! Win lots of money!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Hi Hope!

Quote
Today is 16 months since DD17 has seen XH with no end in sight.

Scary thing is; that's 8% of her entire life he has missed.


Quote
My biggest complaint is I wish she would just clean her room.

When DD (then 17ish) came home from school the debris field left behind her from the front door to her room rivaled that of a 737 crash. Sometimes I miss that now. Cherish this time.

You have a great weekend too Hope.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Happy early birthday Hope! Win lots of money!

Thanks PM, hug

I have been good but today it feels like one of those "funky Friday days" that I have not experienced in a long time. It will pass.

I am usually a loser but last time I cleaned house and won playing poker! Hope I have a repeat.

Take care PM.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Posts: 8,240
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Happy Early Birthday Hope. (((((hope))))))

It really is XWH's loss that he doesn't talk to your DD16, she sounds wonderful.

While I was reading what you were writing about your XWH and how far down he has traveled, I thought, "I read somewhere that the better person they were, the further down they must fall." It seems to be true in this sense. He was a great man pre-A and now he has to destroy that to the nth degree. I am glad that he couldn't bring you down with him. You are great and I hope you enjoy your birthday. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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(((hope)))


Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS
Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
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Originally Posted by imanotherone
(((hope)))

thanks for the shoutout. Had a good birthday on Saturday. Had friends over for a poker game even though I lost (at least let me win for my birthday!).

My DD17 BF came over that day and he brings me a big bouquet of flowers. I started crying on the spot. My XH used to buy me flowers for mother's day and my birthday and I have missed receiving flowers.

Poor kid he didn't know what do to when I started to cry and I gave him a big hug. I think DD realized what had happened and "got it".

We have gotten buckets of rain and flooding this whole weekend. Everything is turning green and going under water. Looking for the ark to float by.

I have my moments with the affairage coming in October. I am actively going to make plans for that 10-10-10 date while they exchange insincere vows of infedelity and get falling down drunk.

This too shall pass.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Hope, yours is another one I follow but don't comment on much. You, too, are a woman to be admired.

Happy belated birthday!

I, too, understand those little triggers. They are very few and far between anymore, thank goodness.

I am sorry you are having to deal with an affairage. I still look to see if WxH and babs have taken that leap. As little as I care about him now, it would still be a dagger.

Just know, it is doomed to fail. It is empty and meaningless. A last ditch effort to escape the desperation.

The old saying holds true - "wherever you go, there you are."

An affairage is another act of desperation to make it right. They will be disappointed once again.

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Can I sent them a gift? How about his and her pooper scoopers? Or monogramed towels -- HIS, HERS and HOPES? Some one needs to slap them silly.

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An affairage is another act of desperation to make it right. They will be disappointed once again.

How true...Many times when I was in contact with XH before I would end every email "It will never be right". He is trying to prove to EVERYONE including himself that he was right.

HH, I wish someone would slap him silly and you would be the woman to do it!!!


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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hope3343,

do something great on that day, start a new memory......if you having fun you won't even think of him and you won't be wasting any of your precious time on him anymore,
so nice of the daughters BF to give you flowers, sounds like he might be a keeper......
focus on the positives in your life and the other reasons for 10-10-10, my B-Day........
stay strong and enjoy life now.......
you are a good person...........


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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On 10-10-10(puke BTW), why not burn a plastic pig in effigy. grin

You are an amazing woman. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Quote
On 10-10-10([Linked Image from smileyvault.com] BTW), why not burn a plastic pig in effigy. grin

[Linked Image from smileyvault.com]

Quote
You are an amazing woman

ITA, you are an amazing woman; look at the wonderful DD's you have as a testament to what an awesome person you are.[Linked Image from bestsmileys.com]

Happy Belated Birthday Hope, glad you had fun with friends!!!
[Linked Image from bestsmileys.com]

On 10-10-10, make sure you are surrounded by good friends and those who love and care about you. Unfortunately the alien is spiraling down, down, down. [Linked Image from smileyvault.com]

Take care of you and DD!


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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I am breathing barely.

Was supposed to go to court tomorrow for Divorce enforcement ($$ for DD car and loan XH defaulted on)

XH filed for Chapter 13 Bankruptcy on Friday afternoon and then took off on vacation for PP's birthday to see her favorite football team play (and win).

Just got call from attorney's office and because he filed we cannot go forward because the bankruptcy filing protects him.

They are seeing what options we have now or just be part of a long list of creditors.

He has officially lost his mind.

How can this man go this low that he takes the money for his daughter's car and just spends it?




Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Wow. keep breathing. You obviously need more info before you flip out.

Dunna worry, when it is flip out time, we will tell/help you! rant2

Family member tried to bankrupt 30K he owed in back CS payments. No go. NOt a chance. Texas and MI court system.

Last edited by barbiecat; 09/27/10 06:28 PM.

Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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What a flippin' tool.

And not a cool tool like a router or jigsaw...he's a toilet plunger or pipe snake.

There. I wrote it out loud.

((((Hope))))


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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{{{{Hope}}}}
I don't understand how or why they sink so low. But it becomes all about the selfishness of the AP's ego's.
I wish I had some great words of advice, just know that I am thinking about you and sending good thoughts and prayers.


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Time for a big
PLAN F U.

Help, Mymissy. We need some cool, flaming graphics.

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XH and PP are all about narcissistic lifestyle. PP brags about what she is doing and basically might as well wear a shirt that says "look at me, look at me".

<insert evil thinking> Would like to send a heartfelt message to some of the attendees saying basically that enjoy the affairage...so sad that XH has filed bankruptcy and the ring PP is wearing is my daughter's car.

Like to give the gift that keeps on giving. Where is schoolbus when you need her to toot that karma bus.

thanks for the posts. XH is paying CS because the state of Texas takes it from his pay it is the money for the car and a loan he agreed to pay and I agreed to pay the other one and now I am paying both just because he doesn't want to pay it because of his "lavish lifestyle" (how do you like that term HH)

More to follow


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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