Hello,

I'm feeling so down today. I posted my story over on the MB101 forum last week and my gf (VTMomof3) posted here too seeking some help. Well, we did break up for a short period, but we are trying to work through things.

I can see all the effort she is making. I can see it all, and I do trust her and I have felt positive about us for the past few days.

But today I feel so down. The best way I can describe how I feel right now is "empty".

I have a lot of other stressors in my life at this moment - honestly, more than any one person should have to deal with. I feel like if there is one more thing on my plate, I am going to lose it completely.

Not really looking for answers. Just some support.

-NotSoHappyHikerToday

Oh hiker, sorry you're having a bum day. I know that overloaded feeling - believe me, just found out I'm going to be pulling OT this weekend...blech.

Sometimes life just likes to dog-pile us. I try to remind myself that we grow when we are under pressure - but sometimes I LIKE being little (I'm only 5' tall, that's a short joke).

Anyways, just throwin some good thoughts your way HH

(((HH)))

HH,

Make sure she exposes herself to the OMW's from her past she has never faced the consequences of her dishonesty before, and really needs to now if you are to accept her back.

God Bless
Gamma

You seem kind of like a weak person. You are being quite foolish by buying into her lies and her cheats on you. Remember she is a user and cheater no matter what you WANT to believe. This is her MO.

So,, look for a life of heartache with this woman I am sorry to say. Even if she pretends to be remorseful. She will hide her cheating from you.... better.... next time. If she can figure out a way to not have you find out. She will continue.

If you were brave enough to dump her and stay away from her, then in a few weeks you could get your bearings again and start feeling better.

as it is now, your entire psyche is damaged by her and KNOWS that she is toxic and should be outta your life for good.

But, on the outside, YOU like certain things about her (which are not real by the way) and you are battling your inner self and trying to keep this poison woman around. This battle will be exhausting and draining and painful. It would sound like this:

Inner self," Hey, this woman is bad for you, she has already done damage to you in 4 short months man! Dump her!!! She is a liar, cheater, user, damager"

Outer self,," But hey, she is cute and great in bed. I am lonely and i think it can work out with her. She will change. I really believe her in that her ex and his wife stole her wealth.

Inner Self," If you believe that crazy story of how they stole her wealth, yet she is still talking two times a week to that same ex, then you ARE a fool! "

Outer Self " I think she will quit lying and cheating, I can help her. So that i can have her!"

Inner self, '"Hey,, I am just trying to protect you man since you are under her spell and your judgement is messed up right now."

Outer self, "But I really want to believe she can change!!!"

Inner self, " Why do you want to believe SO BADLY? Have you never had a woman so pretty and so open and good in bed that you dont want to lose that?"

Outer self "She says she loves me!!!"

Inner self, "This is the primary manipulative tool these women use on men besides looking good and good in bed. Is the "I LOVE YOU" Few men can resist this. But can you be strong enough to see she is toxic and will ruin your life like she ruined everyone elses she married, had affairs on marriages she broke up, and the lies she told ALL????"

Outer Self, " I am weak and I feel horny and ready to make love with her today I can ignore the other stuff for now"

Inner self, "Please do not be manipulated by your own need for sex, and dont pretend it is anything other than that"


I could go on and on. This explains why you feel rotten, tired, and empty. Because you are losing your soul to this woman. And she will be a soul killer in the end once she draws you closer and closer to her. Inside yourself you know this for a fact.

I have seen this same thing play out with many of my friends and people we know.

Vibrissa - Thank you, your post made me smile. I hope your OT is going well today! I've put together a plan to address three major areas of overload for me, and I'm starting today - somewhat ironically - with a full day of work!!

Gamma - She is in the process of exposing her affairs to all those affected. She has already contacted one of the OMW by phone, and come clean to most of her family, and several of her close friends. She has also cut off contact with all ex-lovers. She is doing a lot. There is more still to do, but this is not all going to happen overnight.

Bubbles - Thank you for your post. In some respects, I am a weak person, you are right about that. I have my weakness, flaws and misgivings like most other people on this planet. I don't, however, share your pessimistic view of people who do not have perfect pasts. Yes, she has lied and cheated in her past, and lied to and cheated on me. But, in my book at least, that does not mean she is forever a liar and a cheater. I'm not that quick to condemn people. Perhaps it's my own imperfections, and the changes I have made in my own life over the past 10 years has led me to that belief.

Lastly, I'm not a Christian, but this is a Christian-based website so I'd imagine the concept of "forgiveness" should resonate pretty strongly here. I strive for that. Being bitter and angry and filled with hate for those that have done wrong to us is no way to live our lives.

-HappyHiker

There is a good CHANCE she could continue to do what she has always done, like lie and cheat. Yes there is a tiny chance she might completely change.

Did you ever see proper evidence of or hire a PI to look into.... her wild claims of those two folks ripping off all her money?

I have a feeling that not only is this woman a liar/cheater but that she has some mental illness which you will eventually, after a lot of pain, find out about and have to deal with.

My sister is mentally ill(refuses to admit this and refuses any treatment) and she acts sort of like your friend. Normal on the surface but then drama, lies, paranoid feelings, acting out happens....Everyone around her is damaged by it. For years and years.

She has abused and lied to her own husband so much he cannot look anyone in the eye he has no self esteem. I asked him one day why he did not leave her and he said:"But sometimes she can be so sweet!"

The poor fool. I guess it is not the worst thing living with a liar/cheater/mentally ill attention hog, drama queen.

Live would be painful every day...but would not be boring since you would always be checking up on the cheater, monitoring them, chasing them, finding out about more lies, etc.

What a life though. When you could have a nice honest woman who would love only you. Hmmmm, do you like lies and abuse? some do.

Being bitter and angry and filled with hate for those that have done wrong to us is no way to live our lives.

No one is saying you should be bitter and angry. Only that you do not need to forgive a liar/cheater. Until they are remorseful and have completely changed thier life to be honest and non cheating. You should not hate this toxic woman.

You should BE AFRAID of her and what she is going to do to you, your children, and your precious life!!!!

Bubbles,

Yes, I have seen all the evidence of the fraud that was perpetrated on her. The case is currently being investigated by local police.

Enjoy your weekend,
-HappyHiker