I am going to take it one day at at time I want it to get better but I can not deal with things the way they are. He does wants it all and I am not willing to be degraded like this. I am on the list because your right I will cave. This hurts to much. I just want the pain to end and I know it will.

Just remember that he is in YOUR home, and everything inside that house will remind him of you!

LOL SR you are right and now its pretty bear as I have removed my personal things, all of the new unborn baby things, and all the things for our youngest and eldest sons. He watched me pack for 30 minutes and asked me to keep the truck. I declined the car as I dont want contact with him regarding it as it is our only car (besides his wrk car).

I knowwe all wish we did not have to live through these experiences, but Im so glad this site is here in my darkest moments.

I have sent an appointment request for a coaching session. I am so lost. My youngest child is suffering so much. He has wet the bed last night. He is crying and acting out. He wants to go home and he wants to know why we can not go home. I am heart broken and I am not sure how to proceed...

I do not know how to move forward.

I submitted my question via email to the radio show and I was chosen and given a response by Dr. Harley. I am going to move forward and file for a divorce or separation but I am leaning towards a divorce as a separation is not advantages to me. No one really wants a divorce so my saying so has no real bearing but with years of knowledge I am going to trust that Dr. Harley's answer to my question was a good one as are his books.

Wish me luck I begin making phone calls tomorrow.

MELODY!!!! Can you please look at my thread and give some feedback!?

After much thought and prayer I do not want a divorce nor a legal separation. Can you all please look over my thread and offer any other advice? Or am I just emotionally unstable due to all of this drama and my pregnancy and unable to see the blaring truth of my situation?

What did the harley's say you should do?

Have you been in a dark plan B since you moved out?

The Harley via the radio show / via email stated that I am doing a plan C which will not work. And it is true, I am in a plan c so to speak.

We see each other 5 days a week due to our child's involvement in football and school as well. I KNOW I am suppose to be dark but I don't know how to be totally dark with our children involved, he has 3 of the boys I have the youngest 5 yo and I am preg. We are speaking minimally but we do speak and see each other.

Update:
My baby was born on 9/06/10 she was a healthy 7lbs 8.1 oz and 19.5 inches long.

As for my marriage well I am still living with my mother, I am looking or a place to move. I have returned to school, 2 days after the baby's birth and I am doing well. She is a great baby and I have a lot of help.

I have also been doing a LOT of reading on this site and I am not sure how to proceed.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2429671&page=1

I recently read and found Marks Rants for Newbies and I realize a few things

1st I did not do a good plan A for long enough.
2nd I am not doing a good plan B (which I already knew)but I have improved upon. I no longer see him every day. We see each other once a week during pick up and drop off of our son (5) This is the time he also spends time with his daughter. She is less then 3 weeks old and is excessively breastfeed so she can not leave me.


I leave the room while he visits the baby and I have minimal conversations with him during his visits.

We have spoken on the phone a few times regarding pressing issues regarding our children and we text as needed regarding our children on pressing issues.

I have spoken to 3 lawyers regarding my options of support/separation/divorce.

I do not want a divorce and after reading the thread by Mark I am no longer going to peruse that avenue as it is not something that I want to do at this time. Instead I have filed for child support so that I can have a paper trail for income verification. Although I am not sure if I will go through with that either. Our joint accounts are still open and all of the money is still going into the account and I have access to them.

I realize that I am not sure how to proceed and I would really like some input because it really feels like I did something and am being ignored....

If you have read this far thank you for any and all input.

I just read up on another thread I am really need to do a Plan B!!! Ok today is the day. Wish me LUCK and pray for me..

Wait. Plan B takes time to plan. Do you have everything ready? How are you going to handle the visitations with your children? It isn't impossible, it just takes some planning.

I moved out over a month ago and tried to plan B but obviously I did not plan well so plan B is failing miserable.

We have no set dates and times for pick ups or visitations I have asked he has avoided and ignored. Baby is 19 days old and im not sure how to work her out as a breastfeed baby
Suggestions??

How are visits supposed to be handled legally where you live when you have a newborn? I know that in some places, the visitations need o be done in the infant's home. Is that the case where you are?

I tried to look over your thread quickly, so forgive me if I missed some of these things. Did you write a Plan B letter and give it to your WH? Do you have an intermediary? We can help guide you to where you want to go, but you have to do some work behind the screen and implement what we suggest. Have you read SAA? If not, why not?

I do have an IM and Plan B letter was written and given, but I have not done the attachments on children or recovery.

Due to her age and feeding vistation needs to be here yes.

I have read SAA yes and HNHN

My suggestion is for you to write out a visitation schedule and that someone else be there when your WH comes over.

Where else is your Plan B lacking?

Thanks Scotty. this is really appreciated.


He texts about the kids and calls about them. I give the phn to the 5 yo and I have asked him to call house phn not my cell but if we are out or he just calls or text me to have son call him or to ask how the baby is.

I will move forward with a schedule today and forward it on through my IM.

When he doesn't follow what you have set out, ie calling the house phone ONLY, then you ignore it. You don't get your son to call him back and you don't even mention it. You treat it like a wrong number. Would you let your 5 year old call back a stranger. I would even suggest that you change your number and don't give it to him. That way, if he wants to contact your son, he will HAVE to do it through the IMs. If there is an emergency, your IMs will have the number. Do your IMs know what they need to do to protect you?

Yes my IM is very aware of what is expected and does a great job. WH is just not doing it. Our phn numbers are connected meaning he pays so a phn number change is not really an option as he can just get it. But I can and will ignore the texts and calls. Thanks again I sent the email to my IM for the visitation and holidays.

It's not too late to fill up those holes and do a better Plan B. It just takes some planning. Are you going to file for LS? Do you get CS?