My wife and I both have friends of the opposite sex, however there is one male friend that she has and he seems to always be around either online or on the phone. They had a relationship in the past and I dont think they are fooling around now, but their friendship is still very troublesome to me. In fact my wife and I went out to w/ some friends and while I was at the bar getting us drinks she came to me and said the this guy and his wife were there as well, so we left, I personally dont want any contact w/ him at all so i did not want to stay. This is truly driving a wedge between us. LET ME ADD that it is not ALL guys I am opposed to its THIS GUY!


what do I do?

If her having contact with this guy upsets you (her husband), she should cut off all ties with this guy........especially since they had a prior relationship. Things like that always get refired up again. This one is a NO, NO in my book.

Tell her exactly how you feel. Ask her how she would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. All in a kind non LBing sort of way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by curtis:
<strong>They had a relationship in the past and I dont think they are fooling around now, but their friendship is still very troublesome to me. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know how you feel for sure. I wonder if your wording about your own feelings is accurate though. When I was in your shoes about two years ago I said exactly the same thing: "I don't think they're fooling around..." In fact, I DID think they were fooling around, I just didn't want to believe it. Okay, I didn't think they were actually fooling around (sex) but my mind kept going to the possibility that she might WANT more with the friend. It wasn't until later that I realized I was suspicious even though I wanted to trust. In the end I had a good reason to be suspicious.

So...

Are you really trying to say you WANT to trust her but the truth is you DON'T trust her completely? There's nothing wrong with feeling that way if you do.

If the problem is just with this guy then the answer is simple: you and your wife will simply have no further contact with this guy.

If the problem is with your wife (maybe she's reluctant to end the friendship with this guy?) then you have a bigger problem. I guess I'm just trying to point out that you really do have your suspicions maybe and that you are a little suspicious of your wife's intentions? Sometimes people don't mean to be unfaithful and they were only letting their mind wander, only to cheat later as a result. Are you concern your wife may be more fond of this guy than she's letting on? Is that what bothers you the most?

Or maybe I'm reading your post wrong. Your words just brought back some memories of my own experiences. Keep posting.