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#24317 10/27/99 12:50 AM
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 5
S
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My H recently cheated and we are trying to work past this ordeal. My question in which I need advice to is this: I want to ask him about the affair, like with who?, when?, where?, how did it come about?, did you know her?, etc etc. But in this same breath I think if I know all this I will be upset and dwell on the info. I'm so confused about all of this and would like some help please.<P>------------------<BR>SillySam

#24318 10/27/99 12:58 AM
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,101
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sillysam, <P>You are right about finding out the details - they will be crushing. Be very careful about what you ask. The fact that you know is overwhelming enough. Affairs are not the cause of a bad marriage, but a horrible sympton.<P>Try and find out what lead him to stray. More than likely neither of you where fullfilling one another's needs. <P>Remember, nothing you did or did not do should ever lead him to an affair. This was a decision he made. <P>Go slow in your rebuilding. You can both have a wonderful marriage. But, it will take time.<P>SHA<BR>

#24319 10/26/99 01:02 PM
Joined: Oct 1999
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SHA<BR>You are right the affair alone is very overwhelming and I think you are right about watching what I ask. I know part of his reasoning maybe I should leave it at that. Thanks for your advice.<P>------------------<BR>SillySam


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