|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823 |
OK, please no one judge me when I say this as I was M'd and had 2 great kids with ExH, butI don't think I ever got over this guy. He was my first love, and I would think about him even when I was M'd, wondering how he was, or what our life would have been like had I ended up with him.
I thanked God for bringing him back into my life for a second chance...
As he told me a few months back, he didn't think either of us ever stopped loving each other over these last 30 yrs., and I believe that.
But...what haunted me for 30 yrs. was the way our relationship back then ended. We were out of college and he just broke up with me. Didn't tell me why. I had to wonder all those yrs. the reason.
He finally told me the reason why now, but it's like de ja vu all over again.
It's going to haunt me again not knowing the reason.
I know I can't let it, but I know I can't help it...
Cat
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
>We had some VERY honest discussions about feelings, etc, etc.
Dearest CG...
YOU might have had some VERY honest discussions, but by listening to your words here, it is obvious that they were much less so to HIM.
HE is broken, you cannot fix him. YOU were honest and open - there is NOTHING wrong with you for it.
From his ACTIONS it is obvious that he is unworthy of you.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
You know what I always say, CG...I'm sure you do:
Words (((whisper))), actions SHOUT!
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390 |
I think I would get in the car, drive 5 hours and knock on his door. That's just me though. I'd want the truth and I'd force it out of him.
I'm in a "I hate being jerked around" mood today....
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823 |
Chai,
We so think alike.
I just want the common courtesy for him to tell me in person. I mean I'm not 16 yrs. old, I can deal with the truth. None of this running away crap. If he had a mental breakdown cuz of his dead wife's anniversary or because of other stuff going on in his life, then tell me...I actually think he got fired from his job or quit, he wasn't happy there, and that is an issue as well. I doubt he'd blow off his job all this time. He didn't have any vacation time etc.
I don't like to be fuc#ed around either.
I'm just really mad right now that a person who claimed he cared for me could pull this stunt.
I'd drive there trust me, if my car wasn't on it's last leg...
That's if he's even in that state. He could be right here for all I know!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455 |
Catgirl,
It was mean, it was even cruel but he broke up with you by his silence.
I know you are looking for closure and in these type of situations you will never know.
Unless you hire a PI which I don't think you will waste the money you will have to realize that he had a "change of heart".
Everytime he hears that you contact him it will make everyone think you are the unstable one not him by disappearing.
I see the red flags that maybe those weekends there had to be someone else and it just developed.
Since only God knows there is nothing you can do.
As you know we cannot force it.
I am sorry.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
1,015
guests, and
70
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
