I'm new here. I posted my introduction story under Gerberdaisies. I hope you can see it. I am having a terrible time getting used to the software for this forum. It is the most complex I have ever tried to navigate.

I posted before that I joined an on-line dating site. I just started chatting and talking by phone with a DM a week ago. His D was finalized six years ago. I'm feeling a good vibe about this one, like we already have chemistry, and we haven't even met yet. We're making plans to meet.

Anyone tried on-line dating? Any cautionary tales for me.

GB

I have not tried it, but from the tales I hear about it, I would caution you to always meet in public, and google-sleuth them before meeting...I have a friend who went on a couple of dates with guys who ended up being married. Yuck. She also ends up with a lot of guys just looking for booty-calls. Want to meet for coffee and end up asking her to come back to his place to give him a 'massage'. First date! Um, no! She's had guys who end up being unemployed after saying they work for so-and-so (another time google comes in handy)...anyway, good luck and be smart! My friend might just be a creep magnet.

Hi CWMI,

I just spent quite a bit of time trying to find out any criminal or other history. Do you know of any specific ways I can find out anything about him? If he does have a criminal record, it's a matter of public records. I wounder if I called the courts where he lives would be able to give me that info.
Thanks for your help,
GB

Can you interact with him on an online community somewhere and get a sense of how he treats other people?

hmmm...Markos, that's not a bad idea. Maybe I could get him to join this community. Great idea, Markos

GB

Go to www.pipl.com and search his name. It is a free site.

It will pop up any public records such as criminal convictions. It will also give you links to facebook and myspace pages.

Be careful about getting too comfortable with internet chat and text messages. Unlike face to face meetings where the real personality is more likely to come out, written replies can be carefully thought out and crafted to manipulate. There are people out there that are really good at this kind manipulation.

In Oregon you can call the state prison and if you have their BD or age you can find out criminal history.

In Ga you can go to the Dept of Corr website and search their name, age, gender, all offenders, past and present.

I would look at what pipl turns up for YOU before judging what it says. I looked up me, and it was terribly inaccurate. Some of it was accurate, but how would a stranger know that?

FL has marriage records online, free, as well as deeds, wills (PDF copies!). I don't know where you are. The states are all different, and if you're outside the US, I haven't a clue.

I would start with facebook, it often tells a lot, unless it's private, but then he should accept your friend request, eh?

G, I have a different take. If you are that concerned about a criminal record, I'd just give him a pass. Most people do not have criminal records.

I met my second husband through Match. I would never have met him otherwise.

My rules would be:
Stick with paid services, that tends to weed out a lot of married people looking to hook up.
Put down if you have kids, but not their gender or ages, and don't post their pictures.
Meet sooner rather than later. 80% or more of communication is non-verbal. You need to see someone to know if he's lying or fudging the truth. Also, there is a tendency to share a lot of information through emails and phone in an effort to get to know someone. This can backfire if one of you doesn't feel any chemistry when you finally meet. Then, when the initial meeting doesn't lead to a date one or both of you will feel disappointed, or even hurt.
Meet in public, get a name and place of employment and tell your best friend where you're going and who you are meeting.

GG,
I disagree, I think it's naive to assume someone doesn't have a criminal record, you can't tell by looking at someone whether they do or don't, or by talking to them either. I think it's only prudent to check out someone that you are considering. I used to talk to an old man that was at McD's frequently, we'd seen each other there for over a year. I eventually found out he'd been in prison and he started calling me (he somehow knew who I was and looked me up)...I never answered the phone to him, I blocked him from calling my home, but I called the DOC and found out he had been in for double homocide! They gave me his parole officer's name and number just in case I had any problems with him. It freaked me out, I quit going to McD's for lunch and started checking to see if he was there before going in. Never in my wildest imagination would I have pictured him being a murderer! He just seemed like a sweet old man. Ha! You never know...

I checked out myself and my current and ex husbands on pipl.com and they didn't even have any information on us! That site doesn't seem too helpful. However, in Iowa you can go to Iowa Courts Online and find court information; perhaps your state has something similar.

pipl should have record of social sites like FB and MS and also anything where you've registered publicly, listed phones, etc. If you have protected your privacy or opted out of them listing you, however, they wouldn't show record of it.

Just to let all of you know, I ditched the whole online search crap. Too much for me. GB

Does that mean you aren't dating on line or does that mean you quit checking them out?