Yesterday was "D day" here in Texas.
Very sad day to say the least. I went to court to be there and stand side-by-side in front of the judge. Her mother didn't want me to go so she went hoping I wouldn't show up because she was there. She and I have never gotten along...ever. I sat in the lobby for a while debating whether or not to go in...she did almost keep me from going in the courtroom. But I just couldn't stay out. I wasn't going to let that wretched person effect me in that way. I walked in just at the exact moment my ex-wife was walking up to the judge for our divorce to be heard. Just in time to be with her. I'm glad I was there and so was she. She thanked me later for being there and standing with her.

We both had (and are still having) a very tough time with it. I think we are both 2nd guessing what we did...but it is what it is I guess. It's a shame too because while we both know our recent adultry was a huge problem we had many years of marriage and had many years of happiness. It didn't have to end this way. We both know it in our hearts.

She did let me know that she did want to stop the divorce several times, and that she saw I had been trying to make changes...but she HAD to divorce me to see if I would continue to "fix my problems" and then she would consider being married to me again. I told her I completely disagree with that and have the entire time. Her worthless mother has been the "foundation" that has kept her strong in her convictions to divorce me in order to find out if we should be married. So ridiculous. **edit** Not because of this situation...just everything about her is sickening and she has tried for YEARS to pull her daughters down to her level. My ex-wife is the only daughter (out of 4) that will still talk to her and that has also been a large part of the "unhappy" in our lives for many years.

I got off on a rant...oops.
Either way...divorce is now finalized. Single again. Funny how different people react differently depending on their own life experiences when they hear I'm divorced. People are strange.

One day if I do get married again I hope I never forget this dreadful experience so that I will not make the same mistakes again.

I am sorry things have ended so sadly for both of you. Perhaps a residual of the love you once shared may draw you together later. Or perhaps your life will go in a whole new direction. I hope you find peace and happiness.

We haven't found "peace" yet. Actually quite the opposite. I think we're fighting MORE now that we're divorced. It really sucks.

Why do you still have to have contact, kids? Now that I am letting go and letting my H get a divorce we are much more in conflict than ever. I think it is because I don't hold back when he blames me for everything. I am tired of him blaming me for his cheating.

Yes we are in contact because of the kids mostly. Yesterday we actually did have some pleasant conversations, polite, adult-like...finally.

I asked her after so much good discussion, "Is your Mom still at your place, or did she go back to Grandpa's house?" Guess what her answer was (and I wasn't surprised)...her MOM wasn't there!! She left that morning to go back to her Dad's (ex-wife's grandpa) house.

It's amazing what a different person my ex is when she doesn't have her mother constantly yapping in her ear. We really had a good talk, no fighting, and even talked about a few VERY tough things related to our cheating, being divorced, moving on, money, girls schools, personal fears/issues, etc... We were able to talk about all these things at different times yesterday/last night and never raised our voices, never cussed, or had any fighting go on at all.