Gr8 point...nice catch.

There is absolutely no such thing.

hmmmmmmmm

Mr. W

black raven is right - 401k's are individual retirement accounts. It would have been in her name only. Are you confusing account names? Was this just a joint savings account?
Go to your bank immediately and request that any accounts you have be flagged - stipulate that two signatures are required for any monies removed. Follow this up with a certified letter to the bank, restating your directive of two signatures for any changes in the account terms or for the removal/transfer of any money.

Do you have a safe deposit box? Get to it and empty the contents. If you can't empty it, take inventory (with photos). Tell the bank you want your box frozen. No one gets in there without your approval/two signatures on the card.

I mentioned this before: freeze your credit cards. By phone, and then follow up with certified mail. Tell them you want the most recent bill if you haven't seen it already. Tell them you will not be responsible for any charges incurred on the account past that billing date.

You need to close any open financial doors. She's already demonstrated that she will remove significant amounts of marital money.

Don't know if this story is bs or what but until there is someting that makes sense, I will assume so and not bother posting.

Here's another funny one:
I had my credit card number stolen a few years ago, and the perps set up an email account, started buying things online that indicated they were trying to set up a website. Yahoo refused to divulge any info about them. And this was a crime!

I have been down on my computer a few days...had to replace a part. This was just a joint investment account in T-Bills, and I thought of it as a 401k...my mistake.

When these events occur we are all in a daze and fog for awhile

Some of the posters want to act like let's jump on this guy and beat him up some more...

My story is the real deal, and I am working each day and week to gather more intel to try and help protect myself and family...

FWIW, your posts seem sincere to me. But you've got to remember that we get a lot of drive-by posters on here who, for whatever weird reason, get off on making up stories and then sitting back to watch us try to help them.
Understood that you're in a bit of a daze, but you need to be as accurate as you can. That only helps you in the long run.

That said, have you gotten a chance to read our advice so far? We've given you some posts to help protect you financially - have you read those?

No one wants to beat you up, 17m4, but as maritalbliss said not all posters come here with good intentions and it gets tiresome. We only have each others words to go by...

With that being said, have you checked with your bank to see where the funds went, how they were withdrawn? As you said, you need to protect yourself...all BSs do...and we are only trying to help you do that. The details matter.

17m,

Hire a PI. It�s not as expensive as you think and he�ll get you the guys info down to the 3rd cousin four times removed�s address if you ask for it.

The danger you�re in is that you�re establishing a precedent as far as visitation goes because you let her keep your son. I say this to you as a man who �played nice� with my ex and let her keep our kids and didn�t fight. Well, it cost me TONS of money later to fight a precedent I could have stopped right off the bat.

I get the impression that you are gathering your evidence before striking, which is fine. But don�t fool yourself for one second into believing that this affair will end by you playing nice and having her come to her senses on her own. You must get the evidence you need of who he is and then you must expose to kill the affair. I also advise you to get a lawyer and have a motion for custody drafted that you can file immediately if necessary.

Your rights as a father are in danger and you�re voluntarily hurting yourself in this regard. Letting her keep your kid was a HUGE mistake. If she wishes to act single, then by all means let her see there are consequences to doing so.

I would be salivating as a lawyer about ringing you for every penny I could after getting you for child support, massive alimony, and over half of your assets, arguing that she deserves it. I�d also get you for legal fees. So you may be comfortable right now, but if all those things hit, you will be giving up more than you take in.

I say that as a man who takes in six figures and lived paycheck to paycheck until custody changed and my CS dropped. It�s not the reason I fought for more time with the kids, but it was a nice side effect that has allowed me to have a life now.

You need to pull your head out of the fog, because you�re losing already and don�t know it. Being legally aggressive will secure your rights and your financial future.

Will you be in the poor house? No. But you�re a big fat target as a man who is financially well off. A skilled lawyer can make you out to be a man only concerned about money and not about your kid while portraying her as the victim in all of this.

You need to get your son back to the marital home. If you�re as well off as you say you are, then you can afford to either take time off work to care for him or to hire a nanny to watch him when you go to work.

I would recommend the former, if you�re really that well off. It will help you in terms of custody.

I don�t advocate any one parent getting the child full time, but I do advocate 50/50. The fathers who get that, however, are the ones that fight a smart legal battle and not those that let things get established before they wake up.

I spent about $70k in legal bills just to get a 60/40 split.

Help the lost dads,
I acknowledge what you are saying and I am on board...
Without giving up info I am on it...
I should have all the data I need by T-day...
I am a strong confident guy who gets it done...
I plan on dropping The Hammer Of Thor...
I appreciate all the posts and feedback...
Stay safe...it is hill out there...

You can recover your portion of the funds she took. Contact the issuing account holder of the check (the place that had your money!). Ask them who the check was made out to.

IF that check had both of your names on it, the BANK is liable for their failure to verify that both people had endorsed the check if your wife deposited it into an account with only HER name on it. In this case, the bank failed in its responsibility to verify endorsement and is responsible to you for this money.

Ask the check issuer to find out what account that check was deposited to, and find out where that money went.

If it went into an account that belongs only to your wife, and the check had both of your names on it - inform the issuer of the check that you will be seeking redress from the bank for the funds. Tell the issuer that their company will be required to assist you by giving you a copy of the check as it will need to be traced, and that you also will need to speak with their accounting office. They will help you with a form (likely called something like an "affidavit of forged or lost check" or something along that line).

Then, go personally to the bank, and - in writing - PUT THE BANK ON NOTICE (use those words) that you intend to recover the misdirected funds, and explain WHY you believe the money is at least in part yours, how the bank went wrong in negotiating the check, and any role your wife may have played in this issue.

Ask the bank for any forms they require to recover these funds.

Follow up with copies to the issuer of the check, fill out everything, and keep following up with everyone until you get your money.

I have done this. It can work.





(If she deposited the check into an account with both of your names on it, and the check had both of your names on it, then the bank is fairly safe. You will have little to no hope of recovery unless and until a divorce or legal decree is issued against your wife for money to be refunded to you.)