Is he meeting your top 5 emotional needs? Are you getting a minimum of 15 hours of UA time meeting your intimate needs?
Suggested reading would be the Q&A series
Willingness to Desire here.
We have spent ALOT of time discussing his needs. I almost feel unworthy of even asking for him to meet my needs. But to answer the question, not really.
I know that my top needs are financial support (by which I mean I have a great job and so does he, but right now about $1500 a month is going to savings for our new house). I am responsible for paying the bills and seeing that we spread out the money for the month. I HATE THIS. I have begged and begged for him to take this over but he always says.....you are better at that than me.
The next top need for me is conversation. I mean....conversation about things other than his work and idle chit chat. He has been trying to do this really for about two weeks. (Sometimes I think its just to make sure his need of sexual intimacy is fulfilled).
One of the top things for me is physical appearance. I don't mean that he needs to be the ultimate muscle man, but I would like for him to respect his body and aim to be physically fit. He is really overweight and more than anything, I want him to be healthy.
Honestly, I feel like him not meeting my needs has a major negative impact on my desire to be intimate with him.
The other BIG problem is that he is CONSTANTLY bringing up the topic of his need of sexual fulfillment not being met. He actually hounds me to the point that I get frustrated and shut down. That does nothing for creating passion.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. This problem is going to be the ultimate demise of our marriage. (Yes, I know that the affair didn't help.