I�d like some advice from anyone who may have experience with this. It hasn�t been confirmed yet, but my son may have ADD. My ex and I have shared stories with a psychologist about him and are getting him medically evaluated. He�s extremely intelligent. He is in a constant state of exploration. While this is great on one hand, it is a real hindrance in another. He is in first grade and can�t sit in class. He�s constantly getting in trouble for being disruptive, getting out of his seat, talking, and generally not wanting to do what everyone is doing.

He can�t follow simple directions, to a point where he is a danger to himself. For example: I was cleaning out my old house since we need to rent it out. My car was parked across the lot and I needed to move it right in front of my house. I told my son to wait for me one second while I moved the car. I get in, turn the car on, and see him running to me, saying that he wants to be with me. He ran across without looking both ways and this is something I worry about with him constantly. This is a small example, and wouldn�t mean much on its own, but it is a constant problem with my son.

There isn�t a button that is safe around him. If there is a switch, he flips it. If there is a button he pushes it. Even if you warn him not to. He can rarely sit and watch a movie, or just sit and do an activity for a short period of time. I tell him not to do something and he does it anyway, almost as a test to see what I�ll do. He experiments with his surroundings in sometimes maddening ways. He took a roll of toilet paper and threw it into the toilet, just to see what would happen.

I�ve always had the philosophy about him that if it�s quiet, he�s probably getting into something, which is true more often than not.

His problem is not his intelligence. He�s able to do many things at once. The problem is his behavior. He can�t sit still anywhere and he�s constantly in trouble in school because of it.

My other son is the opposite. He can sit still for a while and can listen for the most part. He has his moments, but nowhere near as badly as my other son. They�re twin boys. Neither my ex or I will agree to medicate him and want to guide his energy in different ways. Any suggestions?

About 10 years ago, my "then" wife and I did foster care. The majority of the kids that came into our house were diagnosed ADD or ADHD or whatever initials they had. We had one placement that lasted over a year. In that placement we were warned of a child that was super charged and trouble. We looked at her diet and cut out caffine and sugars. As if by some miracle, before she had left our house she was off the zombie drugs.

I'm not saying that's a cure all but I've seen it work some wonders. I have 6 kids and my 5th is the only boy. He's wired pretty tight. I'll never forget the first and only time I gave him Kool-Aid, the boy literally bounced off of everything in site. Anywho, it's worth checking into.

As for incidents such as your street incident, have a task for him. My son would have done the same thing your son did. Anytime I want him to stand still for a couple minutes I have him "Touch Black", meaning find something black (or use a different color) and touch it. I started this young with my kids as I would want one to stand still while I went around the vehicle to get the other out of the car. Works for me.....

Tips like that really help. Half the battle of dealing with this is redirection rather than yelling, �No! Don�t do that!�

We're in the same boat with DS6, but not as badly I think. He's also in first grade and constantly in low-grade trouble for talking and not following directions. He's also amazingly smart and is in the gifted & talented program.

We never let him have caffeine, except at family functions where he's running around outside playing anway, and then only in very small doses. His sugar intake is closely monitored too. None of it seems to have an effect on his inability to be still or follow simple directions.

I wonder how much of his distractability is normal 6-year-old-boy-ness, and how much of it is really ADD. I read somewhere that the modern elementary classroom environment is stacked against boys, in that they are expected to sit still and be quiet for long periods of time. Part of why educators are so eager to make the diagnosis and force meds on the kids, so they will be quiet obedient zombies...so they can pack more kids per classroom...and get more funding.

I don't know what the medication free answer is, but we're still looking.

I was just like him. I use to explore and have a huge imagination and would also get in trouble in school through about the 3rd grade. The thing I need to guard against is getting harsh on him on a constant basis because of what he does. Kids like him get a barrage of negative comments, to the point where they think they can�t do anything right, which is something I�m seeing in him already.

I wanted to wait a year before putting him in school, but that call was out of my hands.

Some of his behavior is normal 6 year old boy stuff. But his brother doesn�t have anywhere near as many issues on a regular basis and I wouldn�t be concerned if I didn�t deal with the problem on a personal level on a constant basis.

Part of my suggested solution is involving him in extra curricular activities, but my ex is unwilling to put in the time to do it. It really stinks in that regard.

My 9 year old son is ADHD - diagosed at age 5. He has both the AD and the HD. By age 5, my son had been asked to leave 2 different schools because of his behavior. I had tried every known natural, herbal, behavioral, food treatment I could find - and believe me, I was very resourceful and read just about every book out there. All of the remedies in combination didn't amount to a noticeable improvement. Finally, at his third school, his PK-4 teacher who has a Masters Degree in early childhood education and has been teaching for over 30 years, asked me to please consider meds because she "has never seen a child work so hard to pay attention and behave yet not be able to."

I had my son evaluated by a psychiatrist (MD) who is, himself, ADHD. So is his daughter. He recommended putting my son on meds. I pushed back with all the negative press on ADHD meds and he debunked everyone of them with facts that are not included in the media articles along with the negatives that are reported. For example, at the time, the big press was that ADHD meds cause stunted growth in children who take them. My son's doctor said what they didn't report was that the growth difference that was observed was no greater than 1/2 inch. The article would have you believe any child who took ADHD meds was at risk for stunted growth, yet only part of the statistics bear out that fact...yes, their growth was reduced, but not by a significant amount.

I made the decision to put my son on meds. He has been on them ever since. There was a radical turnaround in my son. He gets straight A's. His school rates conduct in 5 different areas and for all 5 areas, he is always rated as Excellent or Good. (Okay, well, yesterday he DID get in trouble for calling a 4th grade teacher a drama queen). The most important thing is he is no longer feeling frustration and failure.

BTW, my son's doctor said he would never had made it through med school and have the successful practice that he does without ADHD medicine. Both he and his daughter take Adderal. My son takes Concerta....different meds work better for different people and it may take a few different ones before you hit on the one that does.

Okay, another thing....for people with ADHD, caffeine does not work on them the same as it does for people who don't. Caffeine is a stimulant. For people with ADHD, stimulants actually have the opposite affect, it calms them down. All of the ADHD meds are stimulants and act the same way.

This is a constant challenge for us as well. DS6 doesn't read facial expressions or body language very well, has almost no concept of 'personal space', and has very little body awareness. These things create issues that DW and I have to constantly remind ourselves not to berate him over, and it gets really hard not to sometimes.


We actually put DS6 in taekwando classes, and he's very much into it. It gives us a frame of reference in which to talk to him.

Bitbucket,

You are dead on about boys learning differently from boys. My son goes to an all boys Catholic school (PK3 - 8th grade). The school program, set up and curriculum are all based on the philosophy of education in the books written by Michael Gurian. (Boys and Girls Learn Differently!: A Guide for Teachers and Parents, etc).

Gurian's position is that from preschool to high school, brain differences between the sexes call for different teaching strategies. While it's widely accepted that, in general, boys do better in math and girls in language, the authors claim that, until recently, society has taken the politically correct but scientifically inaccurate classroom view that children of both genders learn best in an "androgynous classroom." (In other words, the traditional setting of students sitting at a desk and the teacher in front of the room lecturing). Presenting a detailed picture of boys' and girls' neurological, chemical and hormonal disparities, Gurian and his co-authors explain how those differences affect learning. Although Gurian et al. address the problems of both genders, they focus on boys, contending that they are more difficult to teach and have more learning and discipline problems. The female brain, Gurian says, has a "learning advantage" because it is more complex and active, although the male brain does excel at abstract thinking and spatial relations, one reason why boys do better in math. Drawing on anecdotes contributed by teachers participating in a pilot program launched by the Michael Gurian Institute, the authors present a variety of methods, from pairing a language activity with movement for boys, to using role models to engage girls in academic risk taking. Throughout, the authors stress the importance of teacher training, arguing that regrettably few teachers are knowledgeable about this issue.

My son's school spends much of the school day incorporating traditional learning with movement and hands on activities. For example, when I toured the school before my son ever entered, I observed a class in the science lab and it was clear they weren't doing science. The admissions counselor asked the teacher what they were doing to which the teacher responded that they were learning to cojugate French verbs by playing Survivor.

Despite this approach to education that focuses on how boys learn, my son was still in need of additional help vis-a-vis ADHD meds.

Impulsivity, basically acting without thinking, is a very common symptom of AD/HD. It frequently shows up as frequent interrupting or talking over others as well. Which is often interpreted as being a poor listener (not quite the same).

Are you sons fraternal or identical twins?

Martes

Just from what I have read/heard, this sounds like Asperger Syndrome. That is a form of high-functioning autism, not ADD or ADHD. Have you done any research on Asperger Syndrome?

It may be that the kids y'all are describing may not really be ADHD at all and that's why nothing much helps . . . or it could be that they've got symptoms of both Asperger *and* ADHD. Either way, you could Google up "Asperger Syndrome" and see what the descriptions say . . .

Fraternal twins. More to come later! Off to a meeting!

Could be. We did some research trying to pin down what his issue is, and some of the behaviors match. His counselor hasn't given a diagnosis, but he has a visit tomorrow so I'll bring it up.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a touch of Asperger's myself. I don't have any of the above symptoms, but I ever since I was a kid it was a huge challenge for me to relate to people. I could make small talk, and empathize with them, but there are very few people I actually click with.

I thought the same thing.

My husband and all three kids have ADD (no H) thank god. Try looking up Dr. Ned Hallowell on the internet. Written lots of books, has a great webpage, forums, etc...and he has ADD himself.

ADD/ADHD also commonly come with co-morbid disorders such as depression, OCD, bi-polar, etc.... so that will be something you will have to look at also during diagnosis.

On of my daughters has a mild case of OCD as well as ADD.

GoTheDistance

Just a question for you - does your son get adequate play time outdoors? Does he get a chance to run around and work off that abundance of energy?

If you do get your son evaluated, use someone OTHER than whoever the school may recommend, and actually get two opinions. Too many boys are being medicated in this country for no reason other than they are acting like boys, which has become a crime in our school systems.