I�m feeling a little nostalgic these days. I don�t know if it�s the weather or the fact that I turned 41 a few weeks ago.
It seems like it�s always Fall whenever I start to feel misty about Home and Mom and Dad. The smell of a Hickory fire can transport me back home faster than just about anything. Maybe it�s just a safe place to escape to for a little while, to get away from all the troubles that seem to pile up over the course of the years. When I hear the acorns crunching underneath my feet I don�t seem to care as much about an ex-wife and psycho girlfriend, custody, and trying to pay a mortgage on a single income.
My time travels always seem to end up in the same place�with a girl. She was beautiful. I was 19, she was 17, and I fell head over heels the first time I ever laid eyes on her. My knees buckled and I heard angels singing. I�m sure my heart stopped beating for a few seconds, I had to have her. She was the sweetest thing I had ever met, I loved everything about her. I have never once, since then, ever been affected so deeply by another human being.
We were inseparable for the better part of three months, from July through September. I had it all right then and there, and if things could have stayed the same I would have been content to spend the rest of my life with her.
Of course kids being kids we weren�t ready, we eventually messed things up. It ended that Fall about as quickly as it began. The thing is though�I never forgot the feeling that I felt the first time I saw her, the feeling that all was right in the universe and I knew exactly why I was put on earth. Nobody or nothing else mattered.
Do those type things really ever exist? Was I just a dumb kid? Maybe that�s what we spend our lives trying to get back to, the innocence of youth. Right now I think I would settle for a slice of pumpkin pie.

I don't know, I never had that happen when I was young, but I did when I met my late husband...and things were wonderful with us during our whole relationship! It was that way for both of us, it was heaven on earth.

Not to be too sterile about it TTF, but I think you're talking about a situation where you had someone in your life who met your emotional needs (all of them, and/or most importantly the top 3 or 4) very well. If I understand Harley's philosophy clearly, you absolutely can get that feeling back - just get someone in your life who does the same thing. Obviously that's easier said than done, and certainly it needs to be someone whose needs you also meet quite readily. Go over to the SSA board and and talk to folks who've recovered their marriages using these principles (ML comes to mind and she was just commenting on milkshake's thread, and Not2Fun is recovered nicely as well); I bet you they'd say they have pretty close to the feelings you describe. As responsible adults, there are things in the way that make it necessary for us to work to achieve and sustain that state (possibly unlike when you're a teenager although I'm not going to try to predict how responsible you were as a 19 year old); however, the formula is generally the same.

Why don't you look her up?? Unfortunately the odds are she is going through the same thing as you. You have a nice starting point if you ever found her. My FIL is dating his college sweetheart after 40 some years of raising a family (of course, he started dating her while his wife at the time was dying of lung disease, but that's just the disgusting part of it).

For what it's worth, you may have had 3 more months of bliss than some. I'm not sure I could honestly say I've experienced what you describe. Maybe close, but not like that. Sad part is it definitely wasn't with ex. I always thought that kind of love was too reckless and not-based-on-reality, therefore not meant to sustain a marriage - more of a we just-met-euphoria kind of love. It took 15 years of almost flat-line marriage, infidelity, and a lot of reading and learning to convince me that I was wrong. In some ways I don't blame my ex-wife for wanting out; I just wish she hadn't had to make a complete mockery of our marriage in the process.

take care kid.

Opt

What you feel is very common. Normal and appropriate for you to act on this being you are now single. She may be available and open to reconnecting maybe not. Worth the try.