I haven't posted here in a LONG time nor have I even logged on to MB in a long time. I still see some familiar names though...

For the life of me I wonder why I make no effort to date. I see a lot of people that divorced after me re-married or in a relationship. I do know I have lots to offer the right person but, I just don't do anything about it! Maybe I am getting too comfortable????

I will admit, for the first 2 years after my divorce, I dated a lot. And I was not ready nor was any of the recently divorced women that I dated. But for the last 4 years, dating is very low on my priority list.

Anyone else feel this way?

You are in a good place so you do not feel like 'needing' anyone. That's a nice place to be. I don't think you need to date if you don't want to. Dating a lot during the first 2 years, that must have been a reaction to the bad experience and your attempt to try to mitigate your hurt. At the same time, I wonder if now you are so comfortable that you do not want to 'change' or make ammends to anything to accomodate other people's lifestyle?

Milkshake,

Definately dating a lot right after my divorce was a reaction to the rejection and lonliness that came along with the divorce (and those are WRONG reasons to be dating!).

I do believe that one of my reason's for not really wanting to date is not wanting to go through the pain of divorce again (and that is the wrong reason not to date).

Someone once told me that when I least expect it, someone will walk in my life. I will just keep on living my life and see if she shows up!!!

Ha, my son keeps waiting for the "right one" to happen along too, he's 26 and still hasn't dated! But sometimes I wonder if he doesn't have the right idea, he's busy, has a lot of zest for life, has a lot of friends and is super active, been able to experience a lot in life. He's also missed the pain of break ups and divorce that some of his friends have had.

I tend to be non-interested in dating because I hate it. I liked being married when I was in a good relationship (he died) and there's nothing worse than being in a bad marriage (my last one). I finally risked falling in love, was engaged and subsequently dumped. See what happens? I just don't trust any more and it's easier to not go through it...that and who has time for dating? With all that has to be done keeping up with job and home, I don't know how people find the time.

That's funny kayc..... I have a few friends like that too.... but sometimes I wonder: those people have never experienced the intense hurt that might have been caused by bad relationships, yet they never experienced some wonderful feelings either. Life is a tradeoff.

I've experienced enough FOR them! LOL Right now I want a break from it all, just concentrating on surviving, me and my dog.

You are lucky you have your pooch;) Mine passed away 2 years ago. He was my FIRST baby. What kind of dog do you have?

I'm sorry you lost yours. I can't count how many dogs I've had in my lifetime but I'm closest to this one.

He's a Gorsky which is a cross between a Golden Retriever and a Siberian Husky. I haven't been able to figure out how to post his picture on here!

Well try this:
[img]http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1162457819538&set=a.1162457019518.25768.1170627458[/img]

Hi, B.

The right person may walk in but you have to open the door.

It's still considered unladylike to go around neighborhoods asking if men are single and would they like my phone number. So, if you haven't met anyone you want to even ask out for coffee, then you need to change your routine some.

Second, dating is work a lot of the time because about 3/4 of the time it doesn't work out. But, that other 25% makes it worth the effort.

kayc, I couldn't open the link - need to try with my home PC.

BHINWI, I think your 'keep on living your life and the right person will show up' approach is healthy in concept. Just in reality, though, if you are simply commuting back and forth, then running errands...., if that is the majority of your lifestyle, then I am not sure if you are increasing your odd to meet someone even if you are emotionally ready for another relationship.

I have a friend who does this. She is so busy at work, is too tired to go out to any type of social events after work or during weekends. So she never meets anyone in the end.

Just wondering if you have any exposure to other social groups other than your work (and grocery stores .

I have my church activities, but honestly, I don't think I AM emotionally ready, I need time to get over Jim and I'm definitely not there yet. It's been 3 months since he's been to my place, almost three months since I've seen him, and and over 2 1/2 months since he broke up with me...that's just not enough time to get over a year long engagement even if you know you need to. That's one reason I'm not interested in dating. I think we need to protect ourselves when we know we are vulnerable and when someone has smashed your heart and your esteem in the process, it takes a while to heal. I feel if I concentrate on making my life enjoyable the way I want it...it'll happen or not and I'll be okay either way.

Go back and click on the link now, I changed it. Incidentally, once you get there you can click on "back to album" and you can view other pictures of him.

So you are not dating. That's neither good nor bad it is what it is. Pressure to be dating as in anything else usually leads to bad decisions.

TheRoad,

You are correct, it is what it is. I have a great job, great kids and wonderful friends. If I meet someone someday then life will be just that much better.

Keith

My sentiments exactly...well except for the great job part.