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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820 |
Okay tell me how you all dealt with the anniversary date, how to handle the triggers I know will come......we are doing better day by day but still work to do.....
What did you do....
How did you handle the triggers...
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025 |
TRY to treat it just like any other day. It's insignificant.
You may not succeed this year...but next year you'll do better and the year after that you might just discover you aren't exactly sure if it is Nov 2 or 3rd (or whatever). By year four...who cares.
It's not a date to celebrate...it's the day you had open heart surgery, figuratively. Now that you've got a new lease on (marital) life...don't waste it on burdening yourself on trivial matters.
Live life.
Enjoy life.
It's a privilege denied to many.
Mr. Wondering
p.s.- maybe find something to occupy your mind that day like volunteering somewhere that has people much more down on their luck than you. Might give you some perspective AND divert your thoughts away from what could otherwise be a troubling day if you remain idle. DO NOT lay in bed all day sulking....make plans for that day (and I'd suggest away from your husband as he can't put the genie back in the bottle no matter what he does so it's likely to FEEL like you are punishing him if you demand his support that day...if he offers it GREAT...but no lovebusters as you attempt to rebuild romantic love in your marriage). I know...easier said then done.
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46 |
It's hard. My wife had PA one week before our wedding anniversary. Its hard to forget that. This will be the second anniversary since the PA. Still not looking foward to it.
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