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Just letting you know, I always enjoy reading your updates.
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Again...surviving an affair is a process... where every 'little victory' needs to be celebrated and underscored and used to nudge us along forward....and the sooner you can get started doing this, the better you will, NOT avoid the pain of the loss, but reduce it..substantially. This is so absolutely true and hopefully the BS's on here will be able to read this and remember it when they begin to heal just a bit moment by moment, because that can be just good enough. You are such an inspiration to so many people.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Hey Luna! Sorry I missed your post looking for an update from me. I've been a bit sporatic coming here and haven't really been posting til this week. I'm sure you caught my updates. I have to go back to this that you said a few posts back, as I think it really is worth reading again - Again...surviving an affair is a process... where every 'little victory' needs to be celebrated and underscored and used to nudge us along forward....and the sooner you can get started doing this, the better you will, NOT avoid the pain of the loss, but reduce it..substantially. Good stuff! I'm so impressed with you! Hope this day finds you well. 
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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I agree, Luna. Just look at where you were last year and where you are today. I say that about myself. Two years ago, when DD graduated from Jr. High, it was a horrible, terrible day. I couldn't go a few minutes without crying. My mind was in "obsession" mode. WH was home at the time, but the A was active and he kept hinting at leaving.
Last year, DS graduated from high school. I threw a party with my sister for our kids. I acted as if it didn't bother me that WH wasn't around. But, by myself, I cried. I hid. I couldn't help but think of WH. I had a hard time smiling.
This year, I proudly hosted a party for DD's graduation. I was GLAD WH wasn't around. My brother saw him sitting in the auditorium by himself while I was sitting with both our families. I was happy. I smiled. I cared less about WH. HIS LOSS.
I see my progress. You see yours. We all move on down the road whether we like it or not. If we stop moving... stay in one of the stages too long... then we need more help. I say to myself "am I where I'm suppose to be doing what I'm suppose to be doing?" If the answer is Yes, then I'm OK with myself. I CAN do more then I give myself credit for just by looking at where I've been.
And I'm NOT going back there.
Keep posting, Luna. You do a BEAUTIFUL job expressing your thoughts and I learn from you. I really do!!
M 25 yrs, 3 teens
Dday 12/07
5ish False Recoveries (all in 2008)
12/08 WH moves in w/OW, her kids
Plan B/D/FU -- depending on the day
He files 1/09; D final 12/2012
"I'm moving on"
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It's sooooo nice to check my thread and see that I have had some 'visitors'....thanks to all for dropping by. and  Been away a bit visiting my family (Mom and Big Brother and his family). Trying to visit Mom more often since Dad passed away, but to do so, I need at least a 4-day break to make it worthwhile (in the meantime, 'things to do' accumulate).  No matter. Life is good.  Enjoying the company (and 'whirlwind') provided by my two beautiful boys (14 and 19 yr...and friends!)  ...all the while telling myself that one day I will supposedly miss all the 'noise' and the 'turning heads' that I do.  Out of breath just WATCHING them go! Oh....and to think one day I was JUST like them!  Also seeing friends I have not seen for awhile and loving 'catching up' with them (as I like to do here but bit frustrated for lack of time to do so!) No matter. All's well. It's a beautiful sunny day. Appreciating being alive and all that I have. Going over now to read how some of you are all doing. Take care. and
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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Luna,
Good to see you around and doing well. You've come such a long way on this journey. Keep up the good work!
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Isn't it nice when the craziness of surviving the wayward subsides and you are able to carry on living your life, happy and healthy and see the wonder in the world so clearly...living a grateful life again. I worried soooo much that I wouldn't get there again and am so grateful that I have.
Take care, Luna...
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Isn't it nice when the craziness of surviving the wayward subsides and you are able to carry on living your life, happy and healthy and see the wonder in the world so clearly...living a grateful life again. I worried soooo much that I wouldn't get there again and am so grateful that I have.
Take care, Luna... OMG, so well said. I told someone the other day that I now have peace in my life and it is so appreciated. XWH is still in his chaos (I've removed myself), DD is still in her chaos (I've learned to distance myself) and all of the D chaos is gone. I want none of it back.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Luna, what an amazing lady you are. I can "feel" the peace and calmness from you.  May the rest of your life be filled with the same.  Fox
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Thanks! Your 'visit' and comments are very much appreciated!  Have a great day everybody.
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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I have 2 important words for you - You are doing great! Have a wonderful 4th of July holiday! 
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Hi Luna,
It's been a month and I was just thinking about you and so many others.
How's life? What's been happening?
Hugs to you my friend. Please know how much I appreciate and thank you for all you did for me.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Luna,
Wondering about you too. Let us know how you are doing.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Hi Queenie and CL! Life is good. Been visiting with family and friends. Work is great. Enjoying appreciating life... Even though I am very busy, I think of you 'guys' often and come here to 'lurk' more than anything. Continually finding ways to 'minimize' direct contact with WS (and so, impact on me), and yet not compromise the benefits to boys of my collaborating with their 'dad'. D process progressing at a 'turtle' pace...but progressing nonetheless! Have a great day everybody. 
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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Luna,
How about an update? Haven't heard from you in too long!!!
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Hi CL, You are right, it's been awhile! I do miss being on the Board. Just a 'shout out' to let you and others know that life continues to be good... as my intention is to continually move away from being defined by my past, WS's choices/infidelity and impact of same on my life... and focus on THE PRESENT. For the moment, I don't seem to be interested in dating and having an 'intimate' relationship with anyone else because I am choosing to learn how to have one with MYSELF first... ....focus on MYSELF, learn more about MYSELF...my interests... my goals... and learn to how not to ever LOSE sight of that! ....independent of whether or not I am in an 'intimate' relationship with anyone else....so as to consider THAT, just the cherry on top of an already very uhmmmm.....tasty sundae...ME! The boys are doing great.... circle of new 'friends' who know LUNAMARE 'independent' of or 'unware' of WS continues to grow.... and therefore... WS doesn't come up in the conversation very much anymore!  I am now going to take some time to 'lurk' on some threads and catch up on how some of you are doing. Take care everybody.
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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