Well for many of you who have ws's out in affairland, do know it WILL come to an end. A nasty, crashing, ugly one at that.

When Darth (aka my nasty beyond bad marriagebuilder record breaking all time evil ex) married his second ow the day after our d was final, I heard all the same stuff. Soulmates. She would be more of a mom to my son than I was. You know, the heart wrenching stuff. But I pretty much avoided him at all costs and of course in time you detach permanently to a point where you are just an innocent bystander watching a really nasty and gory trainwreck from afar.

It was never a matter of if it would end, but when and I was the only person privy to this apparently is me.

Well before she filed for divorce after YEARS of being cheated on by Darth, apparently SHE has begun an ema of her own. I kinda see that now. Over time I had actually forgiven the xow and even felt bad for her. Heck even she was cheated on by evil ugly Monkeyho (the ow extroidinaire who is beyond still evil). Some ow are so desparate they will take scraps of scraps.

Anyhow, she announced around the 1st of sept she was divorcing Darth and after that time she and I have not spoken very much. The only reason I had talked to her was because of her daughter, who is the half sister of my son and wanted them to somehow have a relationship (doing the right thing). However I got some news that has just caused my good sense to spin and spin again as it is apparent a wayward and an ow really do not change if they don't repent.

My xwh is now in jail for a white collar crime and yes, he deserves it after years of lying and throwing away hundreds of thousands of dollars on his remariage and subsequent affairs since our divorce jan 2004. So the ow/w, whom I actually forgave several years ago had taken over the remnants of their finances during his incarceration and during their divorce.

I actually was kind and treated her decently. Much more than I should have and recognize now that should not have been the case. Why? All the correspondence regarding the only dman thing my ex has paid for my child, the health insurance, goes to her residence.

I'm happily remarried btw, and my H (we married in July) were going to decide about our insurance policies and what to do with the 3 of us (he, me, and my ds) when open enrollment went around. Anyhow, my job also has a provision to help with children and with emergency insurance situations. If your insurance is dropped (if you have it with say your H's insurance company or your child's if it is with the noncustodial spouse) you can immediately add them onto your policy if it is within 30 days of the insurance cancellaion. Designed to PROTECT us.

Again, the only thing my xwh pays for since he lost his fortune and the playboy mansion after finally getting caught with his drawers down and doing something illegal for the umpteenth time is my son's health insurance. I pay for the entire rest of everything with a smile and so does my amazing DH.

My son got sick last weekend and had an asthma flare up. He's been doing very very well with it, growing out of alot of it, but still has this maybe once or twice a year and it results in a nasty upper respiratory infection. So off to the pediatrician we went last saturday. We saw our doc and went off to the pharmacy after to pick up his meds. It was then I heard the news from our pharmacist that his insurance was CANCELLED on Sept. 1. Yep.

Did I get any information it was to cancel? If the ow/w knew of it she sure didn't tell me. And my first thought was my ex's business partner might have done this without her knowing so I frantically called her to let her know her dd (my son's half sister) would also be out of her health insurance too. No response from her at all. None. Then I had to call the old insurance company on monday to try to get my son on my insurance and no. It was NOT within the 30 day period. So, my DH has been scrambling to put DS on his insurance policy.

This is serious to me since he does have asthma and it's now beginning cold and flu season. I called the ex ow/now w several times to try to inform her of this, thinking she didn't know. But the insurance company said the cancellation letter was sent to HER address before sept. 1. HER address. So she knew. And just like an ow is, she didn't let me know or give me the decency to say that my son's health insurance would cancel soon. Did she care about the well being of my son, her step son since 2004, since she is now divorcing his dad? Hell no. And I found out she is seeing another guy too. Honestly I can't blame her on that one since wxh cheated on her for years, but why the heck can't an xow just get a damn divorce before dating? Why is it so hard?

So here's the lesson here. The OP don't care really about your kids should you divorce. They're just keeping up an additional facade from affairland. When the affair or the affairage crumbles, any allegiance they have to you or your kids is ovah. Seriously.
Oh and incidentally, my xcrazy inlaws (the outlaws as I call them) who enabled my crazy x for so many years, and who grandpa outlaw is a ws himself, have been calling me nonstop wanting to see my ds and take ds to see his dad. I told them they cannot see him (it's a personal reason and a serious legal issue.) and even told them they could not drive my son anywhere since his dad didn't pay for or the ow/w didn't pay for my son's health insurance and allowed it to cancel 60 days ago without telling me. They said...get this "oh well we drive safe. It will be fine." I said no. No and no.

Anyhow do remember this. They will never be in the corner ever for your kids if there is no real and true repentance from an xws or ow/om. Even if an affairage is the result of your situation. Protect your kids at all cost. Fight for them every step of the way until they're adults themselves. The real colors always come out no matter how many years pass. Six years later I see the true colors yet again.

It does open a wound or two, but it's worth it. Mama bear is in full protection mode again and we're happy to say that DH has DS's insurance beginning next week. (doing a happy dance). But I shudder to think what could have happened in the last 60 days unaware to me that his insurance had been allowed to cancel and that I was in no way contacted (divorce decree was careful to state that I had to always be informed of my child's insurance status as my ex was supposed to be who was to pay for it always).

Never depend in any way on a wayward. If my ex ever does pay for anything again, it will be court mandated and withdrawn from his accounts as per the judge. Never again will I be Mrs. Nicegall and never will I ever trust the actions of the xwh and his xwow/w now ow again.

Ugh. All their crazy x's and o's before their status is mind-bottling (Will Farrell).

Hi Peachy, I read your other recent stitch and I was amazed how forgiving you were of OWW and how you even tried to help her and I had a fleeting thought of she is a better person than me.

Not surprised by this turn of events. It is down to character or lack of. Yes people do change but with these OP there seems to be a pattern in most of their relationships.

Good you got your DS health insurance before it was a crisis mode.

My DDs want nothing to do with PP and she wanted a man without baggage. She got it.

Guess his drinking and bankruptcy don't count.

blessings.

thud...

waywards never cease to amaze me.

Good to see you around Peachy.

Mr. W

Hey ya'll! It is amazing. It never stops. If their "ah ha" moment does never come, they will continue to follow the same path. I think in case of the ow/w of my wxh, she was ok with me when she had to be.

@hope: I thought the way of forgiveness is the way to go, and while I do forgive her, the total picture of everything shatters my basic opinion of her.

@Mr. Wondering: Great to hear from you! It is a lovely unstable situation we were unknowingly placed in courtesy again of the xow/w and wxh. Although this time the xow/w was the person who "omitted" to contact me in any way to help my child.

What is wierd is that I guess that unconditional is not something in the wayward handbook. Nope. I guess each move in life is like a chess board. What move puts them in a good light and of course self preservation takes their attention.

She (the ow/w) used to always say how much she loved my son. How she felt he was almost a child to her also, yet when the push comes to shove, I find out that a simple phone call saying "hey got some bad news. The health insurance for your son is cancelled" was too difficult to make to me. Heck it could've been a text message, an email. It didn't matter. Just any form of communication could have kept my son safe. Now we are scrambling to make sure the new insurance goes in effect this week, after finding out it was actually (we were told good until feb. 2011)cancelled sept.1.

And the ow/w has gone very dark. She hasn't spoken to me in weeks since she announced her divorce. And the only people I do hear from are the outlaws (ex in laws)who were the single biggest enablers of my ex's life period. They accepted it all. All the lies, deceit, shame, and welcomed his new w with open arms and had even met the vile first ow, monkeyho, who is prob the worst ow I have ever heard of. And yes I found out from a credible source she is actively dating now. Why can't anybody just wait and get divorced if they're truly unhappy? Why the cheating? I get their m is over. It should've never happened. The writing was always on the wall. Oh well.

They wanted to see my son and take him on an overnight trip to visit his white collar incarcerated dad at a pre release prison. Knowing my son (I told them)wouldn't have any health insurance in effect. And yes, of course I know the ex outlaw dad is a ws. Biig time. I have lost count of how many times he has been unfaithful to my ex's mom. But the main reason I have not allowed my son to see these people is a big one. I found out in spring of this year, that my xfil had an ema with a woman underage in their home state. And the girl was a member of their church too. So I refuse to ever let my son around them now.

I guess the mantra of any non-repentant wayward remains "mememe and taketaketake".

What goes around comes around update:Oh...and here's an update on the first ow. She was one who was desperately trying to hook a wealthy dude. The infamous monkeyho in case a few mb oldtimers remember.

This was the woman who along with my now wxh, orchestrated so many huge lies, but the biggest one was over Thanksgiving 2001 when my ex said he wished to spend a few days with my son (we were supposed to be separated but with him working on our m and then moving home the week after)and asked to take him to Disneyworld after we had thanksgiving dinner. I let my son go with him, as it is after all, a place for kids and families, and also where was one of the places my xwh and I went on our honeymoon too. He and my ds even stayed in the SAME hotel. Turns out my wxh went on the trip and met Monkeyho there in Disneyworld, and stayed there with my son in the same place of our honeymoon and put my son in a connecting room by himself. My son was a 3 year old.


Anyhow monkeyho is married now. She finally got her wish but instead of marrying a handsome young wealthy dude, she got a rich, old prune and got him to marry her. She didn't announce her wedding (although thru the grapevine I knew it was going to happen). I guess she was too scared one of the bw's out there would sabotague it. Yes, I did have thoughts of wanting to send her aged groom a "gift" and inform him of what he was marrying but I didn't. But payback is hell and my bff made some happen right around the time monkeyho was going to marry the prune. It involves my bff and the company she works for (a pharma company and monkey is a pharma sales rep)monkey's bff and a convention where they'd be attending in my new hometown in ga. My then bf and I were going to take my bff who was at the convention to dinner downtown and we pulled into the port cochere area at the hotel when my bff said she had something "to do". Bff runs out and sees me with my bf and his sportscar. She says "wait a minute. I need you Peachy to come inside for a minute. There's somebody I need you to see. So I go inside the hotel and there is the girl who's the friend of monkeyho. She smiles and says hello and my bff acts like I accidentally walked in there. Anyhow, we make small talk and my bff says to this woman that she couldn't stay as me and my new bf was taking her to dinner. And of course my bff says to monkeyho's friend "girl you should see this guy." Well we walk out and leave together and get in my bf's car and of course the friend of the ow walks to the door and looks. It was one of those moments which was priceless.

Me and my bff getting into my now DH's sportscar, and seeing my handsome guy get out and open the door for me. I know without a doubt that she told monkeyho. But my bff said that she found out later that the bff of monkey AND monkeyho watched us drive off.

So monkey is temporarily not on the prowl in a large southern city now. She's got a shriveled up moneybag for a H. And lives a life of silence and secrecy because she ruined so many marriages (my m wasn't the only one). Reminds me of the lyrics to the song by the Eagles "Lyin Eyes".

But what does go around comes around.

Hi peachy,
Glad you posted this. It just goes to show that no one can make nice with someone who tried to destroy your family. It will have zero effect on them and only leave you and your kids open to more of their abuse. OP have NO place in anyone's family, ever.

Glad you and your DH and your DS are doing well. You sound great and I do hope you'll keep posting here.

peachy


Under the new health care law, if your current insurance carrier will not accept your boy until the new plan year:

You can buy him an insurance policy to cover him for the term between now and then. Insurers cannot deny him a policy due to pre-existing conditions, and they MUST pay for care for those pre-existing conditions and the care he receives for them under the new policy. That's the new law. Read up on it if you can't get him covered!

Wow - Waywards and their OM/OW never cease to amaze me. Glad you got your son covered under new insurance.

Peachy

Did you get this resolved? so sorry. whatamess.