well i guess i just need to vent a little bit. this is a lot harder than i thought.. well my wife and i are a few days away from our divorce and i just moved out of the house. well i just foudn out my wife is with another guy. we were together for about 4 years and all of the sudden she wanted a divorce and is with another guy. it is real hard on me because i loved her so much and did anything for her. we have a son together and i am kind of going crazy just thinking about her and the other guy. i want to try to remain friends with her because of our son but i dont know how to do that? everytime i try to be friends with her i get angry just thinkign about her and him.. i always here it is good to remain friends but i just dont no if i can do that! anyone else have this problem? iguess i hyest need to talk about this with someone because i dont really have an anyone to talk about this with thanks..

What works for me...

Remaind Friendly, not friends. Cordial, but distant.

Many on here will advise you to go as dark as possible and not have any contact with your XW. While that is good advice for detaching emotionally and moving on with your life, it's not really practical when kids are involved and you have shared parenting.

We need to do what's best for the kids, and for me that involves coordination with the XW nearly every day. Work together on parenting matters as best you can, but limit interaction with the XW to only things that deal with the kids. Don't "play family" anymore with her. Don't hang around together at the house or for various activities, don't talk on the phone about each other's lives, don't get together for holidays. This confuses the children even more that a well-defined split.

You don't have to remain friends. And, sad to say WW was seeing this OM long before now.