Tonite WS came to pick me up from the hospital. I was admitted a few days ago do to severe dehydration due to nausea and vomitting. I am fighting for my life due to a rare disease and the emotional stress has now put me over the edge. Now just home he's sleeping and I cannot.

I got up, found his stashed cell phone, powered it up and just as it came up this text came from the OW!

So tonite after WS went to sleep I found his hidden phone turned it on and just as it powered up the following text came from the OW!I FEEL LIKE WAKING HIS FRICKING BUTT UP AND THROWING HIM OUT NOW. I AM STUNNED!

1 more thing and your stalker girlfriend will leave you alone for the night. I want a sleepover for December so as we discussed I will go ahead and book a room if it's okay with you...sexy room! Love Peebs xoxo


Advice please before I lose my mind.I feel like calling the OW because he is lying through his teeth to her.

Jinxie

Gather more evidence, then confront him. Tell him to end it, if he does not the expose to EVERYONE! ANd read read read everything on this site

Just saw your other thread, you should stick to one thread. Why have you not exposed yet?

Exposing will surely kill this affair if you don't then you are enabling him to keep sleeping with other woman. Affairs thrive on secrecy so the longer you wait to expose the longer it will take to get your WH back. You choose.

p.s he is lying to BOTH of you, because he WANT'S both of you don't you get it? You and this so called "girlfriend" are meeting his needs he has the best of both worlds he will not end this affair until you expose it.

I was planning the expose and got admitted to the hospital very ill!

I'm so sorry hope you are feeling better that must have been hard to read that text from the OW. I would expose as soon as you can.

I am exposing tomorrow morning. First thing I just found OW's spousal info. Going to speak with all of my kids and my inlawas as well. In the meantime I just don't think I can even look at him. I am so sorry for the start of a new thread and will ask a mod to combine!

Thank you all for the support! I am not well and am still very ill and this is not helping. Selfish WS!

That is good news! Exposure should start from OWH.

Be strong and don't reveal your plans.

Okay I have began the process of exposing. I have talked with my children, one late last night the other two this morning. Now I need to contact OW's BS. I am going to call my in laws then later this morning.

WS has sent me a dozen texts now telling me how incredibly foolish that I am behaving in regards to this very old friend he hasn't seen or talked to in thirty years. I am blowing it way out of proportion. Nice to see how much I trust him on something so innocent, yeah right buddy. I refuse to respond to any of the texts. He has also called and left me voice mails telling me how it is a good thing he wasn't so judgemental through our marriage and problems or I never would have made it. How can I not realize how very much he loves me and understand that last weeks stuff was just a supposed set up!

Is he trying to gaslight me or am I losing my mind here?!

TIA

He is gas lighting you keep going girl, you are doing everything right, every WS acts that way when they know the affair is out there. I know it is hard but you will feel better once everyone knows.

OMG OW just sent this email to me!!!

I wanted to send you an email vs.calling you on the phone because I didn't think I could possibly put everything I wanted to say to you. I'd like to start by saying I'm sorry. I never meant to cause you any hurt and I'm sorry for the role I played in that, but I'd like to reassure you that there is a huge misunderstanding between you and I. Bobby and I reconnected on Facebook, as you probably know, and I can't begin to tell you how happy I was to hear from him. He is a very dear friend that I lost contact with for so many years. I was very happy to see he had married and had three beautiful sons. Bobby and I never really dated when we were young. We did spend a lot of time together and used each other to make our boy/girlfriends jealous or get out of a relationship if needed, but were never romantically involved ourselves. After we talked again, he persuaded me into flirting online with him because he was upset about you tracking his every move. I didn't think it was a good idea at the time, and I still don't think it was a good idea because it gave you the wrong impression of us. Then again, haven't talked to him in 30 years and he's asking a favor, I couldn't say no. I should've, as a wife, I know better. That's what I'm sorry for.

I can only assure you that I'm not interested in your husband, contrary to what you may have read or think. It's not true. I've been married 30 years and plan to keep it that way. The message about the hotel sounded really bad, I know. But I can explain that too. I plan to visit my parents in December and hoped to see Bobby during the visit. I actually would've liked to see all of you, but I can understand that I'm probably not welcome there. I had hoped maybe he could come down more towards Springfield, maybe see my mom and dad and because it's such a long drive, maybe sleepover and I offered to book a room for him. I would be staying with my parents at their home. I do not believe your husband has any romantic interest in me whatsoever. He never has. We've only been really good friends and that was a long time ago, but he's still very important to me as a friend and I'm hoping his stupid decision to play games and mine to go along hasn't ruined any chance of being friends in the future.

I'm asking your forgiveness, I know you don't owe me anything, but I'm really not a bad person and I don't think you are at all. Anyone that stole Bobby's heart is wonderful in my eyes. Your boys are beautiful and look just like their dad. Bobby has told me a lot about you and I want you to know I've had you in my prayers regarding your Cushings disease. I can only imagine what you go through with that. I pray for healing and strength for you and most importantly, compassion for forgiveness. I promise not to play his game with you any longer. If there's anything else I can do to make this better, please let me know.

Thanks,
P

You need to get to her H as quickly as possible. The email you have received is her last-ditch attempt to spin the affair into an 'innocent friendship' and set you up so that her H doesn't take you seriously. Make sure he knows all the facts. Make sure he knows about the email she just sent you. Ask him if he thinks it's normal for his wife to flirt with other men to "make their wives jealous." Tell him about the texts, and that you expect him to keep an eye on his WW to confirm NC between the two affairees.

If she beats you to him, he will be loyal to her and not want to believe you. Tell him you understand that. But DO NOT agree that it may be innocent. Do not allow them to gaslight you, or him.

Yeah...her email to you is bull. The message above is what really gives it away. A sleepover with your WH in a sexy room this is what they are planning not a get together where you are also invited as she claims in her email.
Go straight to her H and tell him the facts. Stay calm and just convey what you know.
Then continue to expose. From my experience on this forum these kind of A where both people are married are the ones easier to break because most likely neither of the A partners want to lose their M.
However, if unexposed, the A will go underground and the 2 might become so involved with one another as to end their respective M to be with eachother. So exposure to her H and to the world is the key here.
Also, just on the side, you WH is an idiot to get involved with a person who sends these kinds of messages (what is she 15?)
also another reason he is an idiot is the statement OW made below....which might not be true, however I am convinced she ran the email thru your WH before sending it to you ...so he agreed to whatever she put in it...again, making him a royal idiot.

Yes her email was a FAILED attempt to pretend that there was nothing really going on but in reality it was her last attempt to convince you NOT TO TELL HER HUSBAND. So what do you do??

TELL HER HUSBAND EVERYTHING!

X2

I am the queen of "spinning" things and this is definitely that.

If you are unsure, share the text and e-mail with her husband and let him decide. Surely if they were planning on traveling and meeting up with you guys she would have let him in on her plans???? Then when you are accused of ruining their lives you can just say you forwarded the information for a different perspective as you didn't want to "assume" anything.

Good luck

I loved this line sunnyD. I will use it myself when needed...

blessing

Wow! What a big steaming pile of crapola!!! This is 100% designed to throw you off track and prevent you from contacting her husband. It is gaslighting 101. Don't buy it for a second.

Immediately contact her husband and share all of your evidence with him.

Expose the OWH ASAP!

another email!

Jeanne,

I don't blame you for not believing me, after what I let him talk me into doing. Please don't read anything into my saying sweetheart or sweetie. I say that to EVERYONE. It's just who I am. Part of that is a southern thing and part of it my mother. She addressed everyone that way. Still does. Because texting is our only form of communication really, we have texted a lot. We had 30 years of catching up to do. Most of our converstations are about you, your boys, my family and what paths our lives have taken over the years. Bobby talks very fondly and lovingly of you. He has since day one. Mis-trust issues are the only issues he's mentioned to me and I'm sorry that this is not the first rodeo so to speak, but it's also not the second or however many. I have missed him, I don't deny saying that and I'm not gonna lie and say I don't love him, I do. But only as a friend. Really.

I can't apologize enough. I just want you to know you don't have to worry about me at all. My only intentions with your husband are honorable ones. We've never crossed that line in the past and certainly now that we're both married with famlilies, have no intentions of crossing it now. I feel horrible that our being re-connnected has caused strife in your family. Not how I wanted this to be. Your husband loves you very much. You're a lucky girl. Somehow, I think you know that.