hey guys, I want to know if anyone has felt the way i do bc i really think I'm going crazy. My husband had a friendship w a girl 14 years younger. Even though it was a "friendship" i truly believe this woman was trying to advance her career since my hubby is a big boss and she's a clerk. But I also think eventually this could've lead to something else. My husband no longer works at the main office but is at a sister co. His assistant is very good friends w this girl and recently i found a casual email where they both were in copy. since then I've become obsessed w her. we r in therapy and i know my DH is trying to work things outm but all I do is think about this woman and the two year friendship that was kept a secret from me. i have no trust in my husband and constantly question everything he says. I'm not well and have never felt this way before. I wish she would leave the co. but she is now a single mother of two, getting her fired would be too much, not that I can make it happen.my thoughts are irrational and I can't stand them
In Despair

Do you have any direct evidence of this emotional affair? or are you filling in info?

Is there nay credible evedince that this may have been more than an EA? Why do you not trust your husband?
Why do you say that "you are not well?"

How long have you been married?
Any children?
Any past affairs? for either?
Has there been a history of deciet?

I am so sorry. I am here for similar reasons(ws in ea with co-worker). Others here can offer much advice and support.
blessings to you

If your H is a supervisor, and having an A at work, they can both be fired. If it turns out that they used company time to have a relationship, company phones to talk, company computers to email - they can both be fired. It doesn't matter if he is at a sister company, another state, or not having a relationship now. All she has to do is complain or tell others what happened in the past, who then complain. They can lie, too. They can say he was harrassing, it was unwelcome attention, or it made other people uncomfortable.

Company emails and phone records belong to the company. They can investigate at any time, and go back through their records. They can read employee emails. As long as he works there, he can lose his job and his chance at having a referrence from this job.

He is much better off leaving and finding another job where they do not work together. He should do that NOW, immediately, while he can salvage his reputation. Is he doing this?

Is he being open and honest with you? Do you have access to his email, phone, bank accounts and whereabouts?

Having a secret relationship for two years while you are marriage is an A - EA or PA. I am skeptical that a two year relationship wasn't a PA, though. I think you are better off preparing to deal with the fact that it was an EA and a PA.

As for protecting the OW, please don't. She is an adult. She chose to have a relationship with a co-worker (never a good idea), who is married (always a terrible choice). If I were her employer, and found out she was having an A on company time, I would let her go immediately. People need to experience the consequences of their decisions. Getting away with wrong-doing leads to justification of it!

Vicky, I don't understand the situation. Did your H have an affair? Do you have evidence of an affair? Do you feel your H has been radically honest about his relationship with this worker?