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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 20 |
Been a long time since I was here. Affair was 8 years ago, we are still having problems. I just finished reading AGAIN, "coping with infidelity" and am left with a question, how do I handle a selfish spouse? I did everything AFTER the affair to make sure HIS needs are being met, we have continued to struggle for the specific reason, HE is OBLIVIOUS to any and all of my needs. How do I deal with this?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
HE is OBLIVIOUS to any and all of my needs. How do I deal with this? I think the first step to dealing with this is to look at what you wrote. You may want to re-think your use of "any" and "all". I doubt your comment is accurate.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Did you marry him after all?
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 20 |
We were married 2 years when the affair took place
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
We were married 2 years when the affair took place I'm so confused. In 2009 you wrote: No we are not married.
It's been 4 years since the affair ended. Two women, same woman twice (a co-worker) and a woman from the bar, for the last 4 years (since the last blow out over the repeat with the co-worker) he has not stepped out of line.
In the beginning, for the first 18 months, he literally swept me off my feet. He was loving, kind, generous, attentive,helped me with the housework, the kids, he was everything I could ask for. It's since the last "truth" came out that things have gone downhill for me. Gone is the man I met and fell in love with,he's been replaced with a man I don't recognize. I want the man I met and fell in love with back.I think he is in there somewhere, I would very much like to believe he is in there somewhere but I am having my doubts. Please help us by completing a timeline.
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