First, let me say I removed the part of my sig with my old username for protection in case I am not just crazy. I'm not trying to be secretive or stuff.

I am probably just being silly. I found some charges on our bank statement that make no sense....lots of them over and over. DH says it's FB games.....1500 dollars over 3 months. I found a new yahoo account, an additional FB identity, and some searches for "milf" that turned up some kind of cougar fling site.

BUT it could be FB games. maybe the FB identity is for the games. maybe the yahoo account is for the FB identity. maybe the milf thing was just curiosity.

And maybe even if it's not all explainable that's what I get for being wayward 4 1/2 years ago. Recovery takes 2-5 years, right? I get what I deserve and all that jazz.

I don't know.

Then again....who could believe me, right? I'm definitely less than perfect.

This worries me, Tawandabelle.
The 1500? That's seems high for FB games.
A new yahoo account? That you weren't previously aware of?
An additional FB identity?
The milf thing: a friend of my DS told him I was a milf. I didn't know what that was, so I googled it. No wonder DS was embarrassed/nonplussed! Still.

Here's my big question: Do you have a keylogger on that machine?

I'm going to put one on...if I can find a free one that he can't trace. But that means I'm being secretive too...something that flies in the face of the EP's I promised.

I don't know. I'm scared and feel stupid and paranoid and have walls up and know I DON'T deserve to be betrayed but am afraid the rest of the world might think that 2006 means I DO deserve to be betrayed. I'm confused.

I want to just forget what I saw.

$1,500 for FB games is totally unreasonable unless you are buying $100 worth of credits repeatedly and I don't know ANYONE who is doing that.

Snoop some more.

I can't imagine anyone spending $1500 on FB games.

And I just googled milf (curiosity got the better of me). Ugh! I didn't even open any of the sites that came up on the search and it was still bad enough.

I agree with getting the keylogger if you don't already have one. You need to investigate this some more. My H was participating in internet sex, and there is some very bad stuff out there. Maybe it'll turn out to be nothing, but better safe than sorry.

EPs don't apply when it comes to snooping. Don't mess around with the free apps - I'm not sure you can even find those? Please please PLEASE, Tawandabelle, go to www.spectorpro.com and get an eblaster! Today! Promise me. If $1500 left your account for "FB games" then $100 can go for a keylogger. It is without a doubt the best investment you will make. Promise?

All the withdrawals say paypal inst xfer and are for amounts like 14.00 and 18.00 and 9.00....could that be games?

The reason I found this was because our checking account was dangerously low, so I investigated. I can't install anything until I get paid Thursday because we have about 100.00 (nice). I'll install something then.

I am going to feel like the worst person ever if this is nothing.

I have missed 2 AD's because there were some insurance issues. Could I just be paranoid because of some brain chemistry thing? I'm back on track now, but who knows. maybe it's the BP talking?

Have you asked him about this?

well i'm familiar with many FB games and i can understand developing an additional FB identity, simply to remain anonymous in FB...since FB is a "social network" of sorts, many FB games you play require you to be friends with other FB players of the same game...take "mafia wars"...the more FB friends you have in your mafia that play "mafia wars", the stronger your mafia will be...

i stopped playing FB games a year ago, it was stupid and useless waste of time, but i had over 1,000 "friends"...people who i had to go through the trouble to "restrict"...so I actually thought it would be easier to develop a new identity with minimal information about myself and use that account to play games only.

and the new yahoo account can go hand in hand with the new FB identity...i would've done the same thing...

I never bought credits, but I'm sure people can become addicted and run up a nice balance on a credit card...i can see 1500 dollars over 3 months...it's not impossible...

all that i just posted is giving your hubby the benefit of a doubt...but the issue is your hubby was secretive...you should've been made aware of any new FB identity and or yahoo account...

also the "milf" searches looks to me to be more about a porn issue, but the "cougar fling site" is my guess he was probably looking a "cougars" in your area out of curiosity...still it's a red flag...

personally, i wouldn't mention anything else to him or he'll start covering his tracts...(IF he's up to no good)...install keylogger and review the data...if he's up to something, you'll discover it soon enough.

I think I would have a hard time with my H spending that kind of $$$ on games even if that is what it was for, especially if money is tight and he didn't even discuss it with you first.

As far as the milf site, do your kids use this computer too? You have a teenage son, right? That looks like more the type of thing that a teenager might be interested in.

This is all good stuff to know, Mr. A. The yahoo account makes sense now, as does the fake FB account. I'd have a tendency to dismiss the milf as well, based on my own experience. I know that milfs are referenced frequently by teen facebookers as part of their 'shorthand', and what they post generally leaks into adult facebooking jargon (LOL, anyone? ). I'd seen it before and didn't know what it meant, and never realized it might apply to me. Then one of DS's friends told him I was a milf. I asked DS what that meant and he started stuttering, kind of got mad/flustered, and refused to answer. You bet I went straight to google search to get the goods! Once I got there I could see other links that could be clicked that referenced cougars, but I didn't click on them because I had my answer by then. No, I wouldn't lean toward the porn thing on this one.

Still, Towanda. Mr. A. is right. Your H may need to be a little more transparent with his facebooking. Consider that keylogger, though. It never hurts.

Mr A has it right about FB games. I got into them heavily last year when I was traveling a lot. They're free to play, but if you want the 'really good stuff' to make your character/position/empire much stronger, you have to pay real money. I gave up on them - partly because I got out of traveling and didn't have time for them any more, and partly because I was up against players who spent literally thousands of dollars buying goodies in the game.

It made no sense to me, but there are people like that out there who do spend that kind of money on online games. Some of these online game companies are direct bill, some do deal with PayPal.

I'd snoop discreetly. It could honestly be FB games. It could also be porn or surfing dating sites.

Tawanda, it may be something, it may be nothing, but it's never deserved.

I know you have EPs. Does your H?

So, you have two options;

do some snooping, confirm you are crazy

or, do some snooping, and prove you are not.


Either way, you protect yourself and your M. Right?

I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

So I have looked at paypal bills. It looks like it really is games, things like frontierville and kingdoms of Camelot and something else. I figured out how to tell how many times a page has been viewed, and it looks like the milf thing was viewed 4 times - and twice was me looking for stuff. DH said he kept hearing people say it and didn't know what it meant so he googled it. That actually sounds like him.

He felt bad about the money because in the past he has really gotten upset when I let little things add up, and he realized he had done the same thing. It is stressful because it's the 18th, and it was enough to make things....dicey until payday.

I feel really stupid for getting so concerned...especially since, well, anyway, it was just unexpected, and when I couldn't access anything, I got concerned.

So anyway, thank you all for your support in this.

I think you agree with me that this thought is not Marriage Builders, don't you?

Noone deserves to be the victim of an affair, or abuse. Not even the perpetrator of an affair, or abuse.

I'd worry about you if you didn't get concerned.

You'll never believe this, but I stopped in between "looking for stuff." and "DH said he kept hearing," without reading the rest of what you said, and Googled to find out what milf was. Now I know. (Actually I'd heard it before but, thankfully, forgotten.)

Then I went on to read your next sentence.