My WS has been cheating for the last 6 weeks. I found out last night that it was a full blown sexual and emotional affair. The man she's been cheating on me with has a girlfriend. I did not know this until yesterday when she contacted me saying we should talk. We confronted my WS and she admitted to having a sexual relationship.

WS wants to talk tonight and I don't know if I can take her back after betraying me the way she has. I'm not sure she's going to beg for forgiveness or anything yet, but if she does, I don't know what to do. My head says "Leave her in the dust and don't ever look back". My heart says "I love her still love her". I hate her for what she did and I don't think it's forgivable unless there's just compensation.

Tonight, I just plan to listen. I know she needs to have NC with the OM, but I'm not sure she's willing to do that. Untill last night, she was unaware that the OM has had a GF for the last 11 years and that they live together. So she now see's that he's been playing her because she was putting out.

If she's willing to have NC (which will include getting a new job) and to do everything else I ask her to, I still think it would be hard to take her back, let alone trust her ever again. What should I do?

Everythingwvu,

I'm glad you found this forum. Sorry about the circumstances that brought you here, though. You will be in good hands.

A few questions...
How long have you been married?
Do you have kids?
How old are you two?

More experience people will soon be here to help you.

And you're surprised, why? Of course it's a PA! It's been raging unchecked for weeks! There was nothing to stop them from escalating it to a PA!(And I'm quite certain it was a PA from before you began claiming it was 'just' an EA.)

Here's what she's going to do tonight: She's going to negotiate to try to keep OM in the picture.

We tried to get you on board to killing this A weeks ago, and the only thing you did was to move back into your own home. It's not a surprise that you are where you are right now.

Do you want advice? Bigger question: When you get it, will you actually follow it?

I see you already have a thread. Please, if you really want to save your marriage, you have to follow this forum advice. They really know what they are talking about. Keep posting on your previous thread, they'll help you, but you have to do your part. They can not do it for you.

Don't write on this thread anymore. Stick to the other one. It helps people see where your story has progressed from.

So, again, don't write on multiple threads.

I'll advise on the other one.