|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 496
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 496 |
The other day I went to Plan B. Then yesterday, Thursday, XGF already was trying to contact me via phone.
In my Plan B letter, I specifically told her that we were only to communicate about our DS via text or email. I also stated in letter that she could communicate with DS when he was with me via phone. (This loophole is fixed. Took several e-mails. Working on getting IM in place.)
When she called I asked her if she was willing to agree to my conditions. She was not. The call ended.
Got a text stating that she was sorry and she thought it was Friday. DS is going to be with me later today, Friday.
Why do the waywards do this?
Is she testing my boundaries?
Does it mean anything when they test?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Why do the waywards do this?
Is she testing my boundaries?
Does it mean anything when they test? She is testing you to see whether you really mean it. If you do, she knows she's going to have to adjust her game plan accordingly. Initially she'll want to do what she needs to do in order to keep both of you in the picture. The goal is for you to remain in a committed Plan B until she realizes that you mean it and she gets rid of OM. That's why it's important to stick tight to your Plan B.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 447
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 447 |
Hello CK,
Why did you go to Plan B without following the guidelines of having an IM in place FIRST?
All you have done is show her you don't REALLY mean your Plan B and she can skate right through it anytime she wants...
How are you planning on exchanging your child without seeing her?
Jim
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553 |
Don't want to pinch your thread Clark but that is a good question and I wanted to know the answer to that too.
Could I also ask why the WS takes the OP to special places you use to go to together?!!
Thanks, Harmony.
BW/FWW 34 (Harmony)
BH/WH 36
Feb 2009 - Affair starts, physical for 9 days on business trip.
Mar 2009 - Separate from H, live alone
Apr 2009 - realise I have made big mistake and attempt reconciliation with H, establish NC with OM.
Jun 2009 - H physical and emotional serial A start right upto present day.
Jul 2009 - NC with OM broken and becomes EA
Mar 2010 - H reads email and discovers A
Jul 2010 - Discover MB
Aug 2010 - Plan A starts
Oct 2010 - Plan B starts
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Could I also ask why the WS takes the OP to special places you use to go to together?!! They don't look at it as special places the two of you used to go to. They take the OP there because those places are special places to THEM. Remember, with a wayward it's all about me me me me.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Harmony, the better question is, while in Plan B, how do YOU know that he is taking OW to these "special places?"
I would say, from reading on here for a year, is that the WS are trying to make their lives "normal" so the affair is not wrong. They try to find themselves again not realizing that with OP they are lost.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553 |
Hi Scotland I don't know anything since he left but when he was living with me and he took OW away for the weekend he took her to a restaurant we use to go. That was one example, he took them to places he know I really liked. I just remember on reading a thread somewhere that there is an explanation for this, that they are trying to recreate what you had. Decided that Plan B is better than Plan A  You don't know what waywardness they are upto!!
Last edited by Harmony2010; 11/19/10 11:42 AM.
BW/FWW 34 (Harmony)
BH/WH 36
Feb 2009 - Affair starts, physical for 9 days on business trip.
Mar 2009 - Separate from H, live alone
Apr 2009 - realise I have made big mistake and attempt reconciliation with H, establish NC with OM.
Jun 2009 - H physical and emotional serial A start right upto present day.
Jul 2009 - NC with OM broken and becomes EA
Mar 2010 - H reads email and discovers A
Jul 2010 - Discover MB
Aug 2010 - Plan A starts
Oct 2010 - Plan B starts
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553 |
i'll try find the thread....
BW/FWW 34 (Harmony)
BH/WH 36
Feb 2009 - Affair starts, physical for 9 days on business trip.
Mar 2009 - Separate from H, live alone
Apr 2009 - realise I have made big mistake and attempt reconciliation with H, establish NC with OM.
Jun 2009 - H physical and emotional serial A start right upto present day.
Jul 2009 - NC with OM broken and becomes EA
Mar 2010 - H reads email and discovers A
Jul 2010 - Discover MB
Aug 2010 - Plan A starts
Oct 2010 - Plan B starts
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 496
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 496 |
My elbow was jiggered. Had to go a week earlier than I had anticipated.
IM in place. How do I convey this information to wayward? Start using IM to convey this information? Reading Scotties thread on how she implemented her Plan B.
Right now the exchange point is pick up from school or daycare. Do not need to see her at all. Plan for the X-Mas/New Year holiday being thought out now.
It seems to me that having children while in Plan B can be some of its weakest points of attack.
What are some of those attack points that waywards use?
@Harmony - [tj] to your hearts content. No problem.
Last edited by clark_kent; 11/19/10 11:53 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 553 |
Thanks Clark I've bumped the thread, it is from Mimi. I'll get off your thread now.
BW/FWW 34 (Harmony)
BH/WH 36
Feb 2009 - Affair starts, physical for 9 days on business trip.
Mar 2009 - Separate from H, live alone
Apr 2009 - realise I have made big mistake and attempt reconciliation with H, establish NC with OM.
Jun 2009 - H physical and emotional serial A start right upto present day.
Jul 2009 - NC with OM broken and becomes EA
Mar 2010 - H reads email and discovers A
Jul 2010 - Discover MB
Aug 2010 - Plan A starts
Oct 2010 - Plan B starts
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
758
guests, and
65
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
