Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#24451 10/26/99 06:41 PM
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 62
Y
Member
Member
Y Offline
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 62
How do you go on day to day with the pain? I can hardly force myself to get out of bed. I can't sleep, I can't eat. My stomach is torn to shreads, I am a total wreck. I can't help but think thoughts of leaving this world because it hurts so much to be here. I know I have children, but I can't help myself. I have no one to turn to, my mother isn't support, she just condemns. How long does it take for him to realize how he is destroying so much? What can I do to make him see that? He won't go to counciling. I am so desperate I don't know what to do.<P>Sheryl W.

#24452 10/26/99 07:18 PM
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 129
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 129
Sheryl,<P>When I found out all the details I actually called my best friend and told her to come get my children I was going to drive off of a bridge. She was here in 20 min(45 min drv)<BR>We cried and I cried. No one knows of our troubles except me, h, ow, my best friend and his best friend. No one in the family knows. I had no one to turn to, until I found here. I lost 20 lbs, quit my job before they fired me for calling out sick or crying all day while I was there. My hair is falling out, I am just now getting any sort or appetite back. I started smoking again, I went through alcohol, biting words, smoking, going out partying with him and others, getting drunk and telling him he could sleep around if I didn't make him happy as long as I was the one he loved. <BR>Having said all that, I am somewhat better now. No more drinking, still smoking, appetite coming back, don't cry everyday, still no job, but that's been okay.<BR>I had seen this sight many times, I had the book his needs her needs since we were first married. I avoided this sight because my husband woudln't do anythign with me. When I felt myself slipping into that black hole fo depression, something reminded me of here.<BR>So I began reading and crying and trying to get my head straight. Once I had my head straight I was able to do what was neccessary to help my H come around. It wasn't easy still isn't! But you have children, as do I and I have no support from either side of the family. Wouldn't tell my mother if she was the last person on earth. She's hated from the get-go. I wouldn't put him through dealing with the family knowing, it would only push him further away. Be careful though, try to find the positive stories to read, I would read hopeful stories, stories of people who endured much more pain than myself and made it, maybe not with the marriage, but were better people and stronger because they came through it.<BR>I hope I am helping, I am still in recovery myself.<BR>I love to talk though and hope things work for you. Feel free to email me kachord@knology.net<BR>I can't say it enough .. but READ! PRAY!<BR>Read Self Love by Robert Schuller <BR>Start feeling better about you and then you can take care of him. Please don't make the mistakes I did. DOn't go off the deep end, It only leaves room for more mistakes and regrets in your memories.<BR><Love Mater

#24453 10/27/99 10:33 AM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 203
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 203
oh it hurts so much. the pain is always there. i have been here for 10 mos. but only 3 months since i found out the whole sickening story. it hurts so much. but i can say that it does ease up at times. sometimes it seems like it gets worse everyday, and then other times it seems a little better. one thing that helps is to look at it like: i am overall doing better than i was 2 weeks ago. the fact is that there is a certain amount of grief to work through. expressing it, crying, ranting and raving all kind of works thorough it. there is no escaping it. and the new offenses add to the pile. like i have a humongous pile of laundry to fold. each day i fold some, and some more pieces are even added on. but no matter what i do, i have to fold some whether today or next week. i can't avoid it for very long. and sometimes i reach into the already folded pile and unfold some and rehash and rehash, and it hurts all over. for the last few days i have jumped into the folded basket and messed it all up, again!! it does get better, very slowly. have you looked at the survivingloss webpage? it helps. so each day i keep folding and folding and it feels like the pile will never end. hang in there. it really sucks, but every once in a while there will be a "semi happy, less painful" moment. enjoy them when they pop up and know that there will be more of those moments as time goes on. oh yeah and pray and pray.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 696 guests, and 99 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
DGTian120, MigelGrossy, Jerry Watson, Toothsome, IO Games
72,041 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by still seeking - 08/09/25 01:31 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,042
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0