Well, I guess I should spill the whole story in order to try to get over it. I have been married for 6 yrs. We had a "love at first sight" relationship. He is 9 yrs my junior. We both have children from previous marriages and a daughter together.<P>We live in Las Vegas, he is a limo driver.I am currently a SAHM, but probably not for much longer. <P>I have noticed during the past several months that he was spending more and more time away from home. He told me that he was working and sleeping at the office. <P>Last week I found his wedding ring in the jewelry box, and he said it was "bothering him". Then I finally asked him if he had found someone else. He said yes and then my world collapsed.<P>Our daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and requires more surgeries in the future and I can't do them by myself. I need his support. I love him with all my heart.<P>He has a very shady past, prison, drugs, etc.<BR>I have never approved of his drug use and always threatened to leave if he didn't quit smoking pot. Now that he has done this, I am so sorry that I put that ultimatum out there to him. He is using that against me now. Iwant to make this marriage work. His daughter loves him so much and she is hurting very much.<P>When I talked to him today, he said the he didn't want to make it work. I do. I don't know how to make him realize what he is losing. I will wait for him to come home, but don't know how long that will be. He is staying at OW's house. He hasn't been home in over a week. I am miserable. I need him to come home to us. I am so lonely and sad. I am at my wits end.<P>I appreciate all of your responses, please continue to pray for us.I pray dozens of times a day and still feel like I am not getting anywhere. I am so depressed and don't see it getting any better. <P>How long do I have to go through this unhappiness in order for him to come to his senses? I know that the affair is mostly just for the sex. He told me he wants to enjoy the single life. I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me when this nightmare will be over and I can wake up in my own life again....<P>Sheryl

mitme,<P>First, you have come to the right place. You will find much encouragement and many friends here.<BR>I feel and I understand your pain. You world has been turned upside down. You are experienceing pain you didn't think was humanly possible.<BR>My adivce to you is this. Stop 'trying' to get your H to come to his senses. You have NO control over him. He is responsilble for him own actions. <BR>The more you push him, the further he will run. Believe me, I KNOW.<BR>You need to focus on YOURSELF. You need to put you focus on God. You must realize that what you H is doing, is NOT YOUR FAULT.<BR>From the sounds of his past, he has many unresolved issues. I know you love him, but you cannot make him 'come to his senses'. Realizeing what he is losing, is something that he must come to terms with.<BR>I will pray for you and your children and you H. Trust in God. He will show you the way.<BR>Keep posting here. There are great people to help you here.<P>God Bless,<BR>Cheryl

It's really hard, I have been separated 4 weeks, and I am avoiding contact - you don't need the added pain of hearing from him, and knowing that you can't have him right now.<BR>You need to focus on yourself and your child and build a safe place for you both, emotionally.<BR>Time is the only prescription right now, and if I had a crystal ball I would lend it to you<BR>God bless