OKAY, you guys convinced me. It WILL take a bit of the pressure off of us, okay me. Thanx everyone.

I have one more reason to add.

Sometimes you have to let others have the opportunity to give.

Even if it's to you.
Even if you feel like you don't really need it.
Even if a million other things...

Let them have their chance to do something nice for someone else. It's an important part of their character development.

You are the best judge, but don't refuse help if you could use it. Its important to accept support and admit we need help. Now if only Bampot would do that..

It all rolls forward. At this time you will accept the generosity of others, in the future it will be you providing the generosity.

meh. So it goes, and so it goes. ;-)

Scotty,

My DS 12 is special needs. He is in a wheelchair. He cannot speak. He cannot stand. He cannot do anything for himself. He is the most AMAZING young man as well. Through him I have learned some really amazing life lessons. One of them I was taught when DS12 was an infant and in the hospital. My H and I were overwhelmed with everything going on and having two more kids at home. We barely were getting by financially though we were both blessed with jobs and good (thank you Lord) health insurance.

An older couple from our church paid a visit to us in the hospital. As they were leaving they put a handful of cash in my hands and told me when I protested "you need to learn to accept help when it is offered." It was a rather humbling experience that I never forgot. Obviously someone at that school knows how HARD you are working to hold life together for your boys all by yourself. Your strength shines through. Your goodness, love and determination are inspiring to people you don't even know are watching you. Accept the help offered gracefully and remember the gift is two way. They get satisfaction knowing they are helping someone they see as deserving of it. (((Scotty)))

Oh Faithy, you two have made me cry with your words.

I know that this principal D his wife just a little over a year ago. He has two young children, whom he doesn't get to see very often. I dunno the reason they D. I have some thoughts though that he may be trying to help out my children because he understands what they are going through.


As I said, i am going to accept it.

Scotty,

I'm glad you decided to accept the help.

Sometimes we all need to let our friends BE our friends.

SB

Sometimes we give out of our need and even if we are not in a position to, but we just have to because of what is right.


About 1992, I was working and we were doing OK, holding our own, but still with young children DD 6, DSs 4 and 1, and my wife came to me as we made our Christmas prayers list.

We had already bought or planned out what our kids were getting for Xmax. I had boughten a used nintendo 64 and repaired it, and then they all had special things too, so Wife asked me..

" You know so-n-so? (A widow with two small children of her own that we were close to), well there are two things that her DS and DD want for Xmas and they cost X$, she doesn't have any money and they are getting practically nothing, do you think we can help?"

I crunched the numbers, our present list being full with the cost of those gifts too, and came up with the figure of $440 extra dollars to handle it all. All our bills and presents covered, and not being late and hungry for Christmas.

We prayed all together as a family to have extra money for thier family too, the kids too.

The next day, a Saturday, I was getting overtime and the bi-monthly checks came in. I opened mine and expected to find the usual I budgeted with. I found $443 extra dollars.

Having done payroll before in company settings, I knew there must be some kind of mistake, and the right thing was to go to HR and straighten it out. My manager had no idea where it came from, and HR was closed. I would not find out what was going on until monday.

It was the week before Christmas, so we went out and bought the gifts that night because only I could drive around and I figured it was a good cause, and I would pay the company back. After all, it was almost to the penny of our prayer. My wife and I had been back together for 3 years, and things were worlds different now. You don't look God in the face in front of little kids and question something like this. You tell them about it and rejoice. So I did.

When I went into the HR office on monday I was telling the story to the manager. I told him I cashed the check, and about spending it and the prayer, and how I would pay it back.

He said, "Oh, thats yours, remember when you went from a temp to a direct temp? well they hold back two weeks originally for payroll purposes, and that was just catching up"

Maybe the guy thought I was foolish for spending the money on a whim, or as an answer to prayer. I would not have traded that for the world, and would do it again if I could. I needed to help those ppl, and it helped me at the same time, as I was thankful for much.

What an inspiring story CP- brought tears to my eyes. God works in mysterious ways.

Glad you found it so... An inspiring story for an inspiring thread. Ya know when you said "God works in mysterious ways"..I thought of the phrase somebody here had in thier sig line....

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him YOUR plan"

I think there is worlds of wisdom in that when you think about it, and mixed in is realization that our plans, no matter how righteous and good compared to others, or how sacrificial we conduct ourselves for others, preferring them over our own needs, our plans are still not as perfect as Gods.

Just as the freedom we need can only be realized within ourselves, so that freedom others have yet to grasp, as evidenced by thier treatment of others, needs to come from themselves also. When and if we stand on our own, no longer effected by how they treat us, or the circumstances that have befell us, is when we are truly free, even if we ended up in prison before we realized it. I think that is what you hear about from ex-cons who have accepted what they did, or fell into, and now have a free mind. Also from those who have made thier own prison within, and have been set free.

Bon Jovi is critised a lot for, well. whatever reason. I don't think thier music is the greatest or anything, but there is one song and one line that rings true in the song for me. From "living on a prayer". "You live for the fight when its all that you've got" Life is struggle, and if we didn't have that, we would find less meaning, and never grow stronger. The towers and strongholds that exist in our minds sometimes need to come crashing down, and sometimes what we have that we think keeps us strong, holds us back. How can we know what to think about our life when it seems bleak?, and we have given it all? When its all stripped away, we still have hope, and where does that come from? Not from us, but from what God has put in us.

Ok Scotty, lol, I didn't mean to start on that journey on your thread. I just see so much of that strength in you also, and God in your life too. Also, this journey of yours is helping me solidify my convictions also, so I gain strength from it, and I am not to proud to admit it. "Mercy is the mother heart of God". Rejoice in who you are this Christmas season.

Well, to keep my thread as current as possible(since I use this as much as a diary as anything else) I am going to update you guys on some things.

On Saturday night, DS10 was talking on the phone with Bampot. He was sitting beside me. I could hear Bampot talking. It KILLED me. It threw me for a tailspin too. Not that bad, but I wanted to let people know what happens with ANY contact, even indirect. Thoughts of Bampot have been running through my head even since.

So, on to that school A. The WW has been exposed. Her BH has been told. Her MIL talked to me on Saturday and told me that WW has pledged her undying love to her BH and admitted to going to coffee 3 times and ONE kiss(as we all know it is most likely MORE). I told the MIL that I would suggest that this affair be exposed far and wide. Then I told her about this site. It's out of my hands now. I feel so much better now as well.

Last night, I went to my parent's house to drop off my mom's car. When I walked in, my mom mouthed that my dad was miserable. She then tried to talk to me about their R. I think she is firmly in freeloader mood in their marriage. I also believe that my dad is at that anger stage. They won't come on here, or read the books so I have told them that I am unable to help them out. My mom is still completely foggy, but it is because she still has contact with FF(OM). My dad knows. My mom thinks that it is harmless because she is not discussing things about feelings or anything with FF. I told her that it is incredibly wrong. She says that she needs to just be on her own now. I know that it is because she didn't really do anything to change herself. That is her problem.

We got into a discussion about my sitch. She told me that she is CERTAIN that when Bampot comes home that I wouldn't want him home. She figures that it what happened with my dad. I told her that that is one of the important reasons for me to be in Plan B is for me to have enough love left to get through recovery. She doesn't see it. It's funny how someone in that kind of sitch only sees things through the fog and makes everything about THEM. Entitled wayturds suck azz, even when they are your parent.

BTW, we are getting our first healthy snowfall today. DSx2 are LOVING it.

Life keeps moving forward and I am along for the ride.

Sister, you're behind the wheel.

You are very strong Scotland you should be proud of yourself, I am still only on page 145 of your thread Mimis took up Fri/Sat yours took Sun/Half day today as I had some planning to do.

You are very strong Scotland you should be proud of yourself, I am still only on page 145 of your thread Mimis took up Fri/Sat yours took Sun/Half day today as I had some planning to do.

Hi Scotland

I am only on page 160 as have been busy with Plan B and talking to DS6 & DS10 and falling around in the snow.

Your WH sounds so like mine, his BS lost her brother 2 weeks before they got together, in a phone call to me in his 2nd week of leaving he said he couldn't leave her as "she has been through a lot" ARGhhhhhhh!!!!

My WH is a very 'needy' 'insecure' person and she is giving him all this care and attention he needed, at times..... not so much so now, they are 3 months on but this is what started it.

Anyway, I will start reading again tomorrow I just wish I hadn't read the last page, not because he is not back but because he is such a numpty for NOT BEING BACK with someone like you.

You will be in my prayers tonight. I started praying recently, it's a new thing I do. It takes a while as i never know whether to say lord/god/tho almighty one so I say them all in the hope SOMEONE is listening.

Stay strong.

I am more determined than ever to stay on this site as I can see how much it is helping you, I will read more tomorrow.

and no, you are not crazy!

He is listening, guaranteed.

He answers to all of the above, and many more.

Neak, you allways have the right words to say in season.

Tilly, thanx for reading. I am happy that you are getting some use out of my thread. It is part of the reason I keep posting.


Decorated the tree today. DSx2 had a blast. They made a gingerbread house last night too. Doing ALL the Christmas stuff. Can't believe it's already December 8th.

I dunno if I am still thinking about Bampot because of the overhearing of his voice on Saturday or the approaching of the Plan B anniversary. Maybe it's a little of both. Also the holidays. Making life and memories for my kiddos.

Okay, now I am putting a disclaimer before this next story. It does NOT go with the MB plans. Tonight, my friend was driving DSx2 and I home from boxing class. Our trainer lives up the street and he got a ride from her too. Bampot called. DS10 answered the phone. My friend started whispering, "Trainer you should talk." Trainer said, "Friend, you are trying to cause trouble." He said a couple of things. My friend and I were laughing, not loud enough for Bampot to hear, but it WAS funny. We got to trainer's house, which is up the street from mine, and he said good-bye to everyone. Bampot did ask DS10 where he was. Ds10 told him that we were getting a ride home. I am sorry guys, I thought it was funny.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled Plan B.

{{{{Scottie}}}}

MB or not....its EVIL genius!!!!!

That's our rockin' Scottie......

Not