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Joined: Oct 2009
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Just heard from a friend with a similar story as mine hubby was always a little quirky but after tour to Iraq in 2004 (same time as my ex) has shown major, major signs of mental illness, to the point of becoming dangerous. He refuses to deal with it, as did my ex and the hubby of another of my friends whose marriage is almost over.

Does anyone have ideas on how to get these guys to get help? When I used to teach military students, I urged all of them to be observant and when their coworker comes back from the desert a little funny to make sure they get help before they become a threat to (and thus lose) their family.

But how do we get these men to undertand they need professional help?


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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They can visit the psychologist, who then can determine if the soldier has PTSD. There are many programs offered to the soldiers, I know soldiers are fearful of negative repercussions for seeking help. They can see the psychologist, they can get in contact with a military life consultant(everything is off record), try Military Onesource to get more information.


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2 kids
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I am involved in a mil family support unit.... but for another country of course (see name grin) and we have been getting some good info on this subject. One I remember which is similar to a method we are using here is in Ft Hood in the US. Its a peer session group meetings with and by blokes who have all seen it and been in it... It has encouraging results. Perhaps there is something like that for your H.

It is becoming very very common especially for those who have done multiple deployments

take care


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

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One person that should be able to point you in the direction of the right resources is the chaplain. They can't necessarily deal with the PTSD, but should know who to refer them to.


When I vowed for better or worse - I meant it!
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I guess the real question isn't knowing about what support is out there, it's how do we encourage these guys to actually GET the help?

There are all these programs out there, but the men won't go get help. They are becoming dangerous to their families.

What can we say or do that will convince them to get the help they need when even their wives leaving them will not convince them to go to counseling???


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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Daisy I wish I KNEW how to do that. I'm a doc in training and
I married the most annoying, pig headed, wonderful man!!

I cannot get my DH to go see someone. He was full of anger and bitterness when he got back this time, right now its not so bad, but it's there. I try to reassure him that its a wound like any other, it needs cleaning, dressing and support before it will heal well.

Sometimes I get yeah maybe and other times to go FO. Its like chipping away on a block of ice like. Then there is the attempt to self medicate via booze. They all say its just partying, yeah sure luv hav yer got a bridge to sell to me as well?

In a way I'm lucky, me dad is also a prof soldier so I know what they are like and what can happen. Mum calls it low expectations grin smile or cry girl.

perhaps the truth, the one I don't want to face is both simple and terrible for me. Perhaps my husband as I first knew him, we've only been married coming on the 2nd year, died out in that dirty little village where some kids were killed. The dreams that haunt him.

But I seem to remember that vow I took before God and all my family and friends, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

He only ever seems at peace when he's deployed. Prof soldiers WILL NOT go to get help as it reflects on their careers. Seems we need to change the command responses to enable these blokes to feel safe in seeking help even if that's reluctantly

But on the bright side he is home alive and well, until the next time of course.

I married a SOLDIER. Even with me background it IS HARD!! Seems to me yer take what yer can get, don't plan on tomorrows, enjoy the now as much as possible with yer husband. Its not the time to think of the future in the middle of a war, yer patch em up and send them back and pray a lot.

So, maybe this is one of the "for worse" times like.

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Hi Everyone - Just a short update...

Two tours in A-Stan did me in. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and I'm getting excellent treatment from the VA here in TX.

I never thought that I could "have" PTSD, but I do. Mrs. RIF and the girls are very supportive and I take my meds like a good boy and go to all of my counseling sessions.

I haven't been around for a while because to be honest, I just haven't felt well.

Hopefully one of these days I'll get back on the boards more.

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

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RIF,

I am sorry to hear this news, but glad you are getting good support from your VA. My H attends a PTSD group once a month. He is the only OIF/OEF vet. The others are from VietNam. I think there are many vets, young and old, around that could benefit. My H is hugely improved. I hope you are feeling better soon.

AM


BW - 65
WH - 60
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D-day - 17 Apr 08
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RIF! So good to hear from you. You have been such a blessing to so many posters. I'm sorry to hear about your PTSD. I'm glad you're getting help, some don't. I'll be praying for you and your family.

(((RIF and family)))

P.S. Thank you for all you've done for our country.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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RIF, I too am glad you are getting help!


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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Originally Posted By: DaisyTheCat2
Just heard from a friend with a similar story as mine hubby was always a little quirky but after tour to Iraq in 2004 (same time as my ex) has shown major, major signs of mental illness, to the point of becoming dangerous. He refuses to deal with it, as did my ex and the hubby of another of my friends whose marriage is almost over.

Does anyone have ideas on how to get these guys to get help? When I used to teach military students, I urged all of them to be observant and when their coworker comes back from the desert a little funny to make sure they get help before they become a threat to (and thus lose) their family.

But how do we get these men to undertand they need professional help?


See if they can make time to go to Walter Reed, who has done some remarkable research in this area. There is some current discoveries on PTSD, and it is broken into two basic types. There is PTSD which is emotional/psychological, and PTSD that is physiological. If the me were in a combat zone, were close to artillery, ied's being set off, or particularly received a concussive head injury in battle, there is a chance it could be physiological brain injury.

try looking here for more info: brain injury


Celtic Voyager
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3 young adult children


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I wish I knew as well. My WH has had a number of symptoms of PTSD since he returned from his deployment, and he wasn't in active combat but did see things like body duty. Then he returned to our son in the NICU which is also known to trigger PTSD for a number of people. He has convinced himself (with the encouragement of his mother who knows crap about military life) that his PTSD symptoms his friends and I tried to point out to him were made up to manipulate him and that he's not "crazy", he doesn't need help. The Air Force wouldn't force him to see anyone before he separated only 2 months post deployment (they shouldn't allow any service members to do that IMO). He knows the resources are there, but doesn't think he needs them. He's "self medicating" with alcohol as well.


I am BW to WH of 9 years, 11 together
5 kids- 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 years old
OW is in another state, WH moved to be with her and her 3 kids
D-day of EA/PA Jan 11, Fully Disclosed July 2011
Plan B September 11 against my will when WH filed Divorce
OW dumped WH in May, WH wants divorce final but to work on things
Divorce Settlement Facilitation Completed, divorce final second week of July

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