Last night I forwarded my husband a prayer that had been forwarded to me. He most likely never saw it, as I came home to the following message, sent by her about 10 am (after he was at work).<BR>--------<BR> Terri, <BR> Sorry but all the praying in the world is not going to bring YOUR HUSBAND back to you!!!!!!!!!!!! Let him go. Move on with your life and learn from your mistakes. Stop and take a look at how much of a FOOL your making out of yourself. Where is your pride and self resecpt? He doesn't want to be with you anymore if he did he would be with you now!!! WHERE IS HE?? Think about it..... We have been together almost 4 years,now we live together do you think I'm going anyplace. NOT!!! ARE YOU DUMB OR DESPRITE???? IT'S TIME TO LET GO!!!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE!!!! And think about it, HE TOLD YOU THAT!<BR> (Slug) P.S. <BR> <BR>Stop running to (H) and telling him that I E-mail you back, I tell him myself. <BR>Are you a woman or an insecure cry baby???<BR>----------<P>I really want to go and ... well, better not put anything like that in writing. This one really made my blood pressure go up. I want so much to respond, but know that it puts me on her level if I do...<P>This was a really "great" capper of a day when I love-busted some on the phone with him. It was about the other message that she answered for him (yesterday, also). Actually the conversation started out very nicely - we talked about the tragedy of Payne Stewart's plane crash at first - something that upset us both. Then I asked him if he'd read my other email message...<P>The conversation sorta deteriorated a bit from there - I didn't say anything that was derogatory about anyone, but at one point, when he said that my email to him "bothers her" I kinda lost it and told him that was just tough luck - she asked for it - and that <B><I>I</I></B> hadn't asked for any of this. <P>We were okay at the end of the conversation, but it was upsetting to me. And to come home to this was NOT fun.<P>What do I do about this one? Ignore? Kick the poop outta her? Help!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>No, I'm not a Marriage Counselor,<BR>But I did sleep at a <BR>Holiday Inn Express last night...<BR>

I HATE HER!!<P>Ignore her, ignore her name on the computer, put a fire wall up against her.<P>She's a bi*ch... and she isn't worth the effort.<P>~Sheryl<P>sorry, I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't resist on this one.

I agree with NB. My first thought is she is so unsure of what is going on that she won't let him see the email and she doesn't trust him, so she responds. Did he actually see your email? Or does she just "tell him about it"? She seems to be the one that is afraid and unsure. If she was confident about he hold on him she probably wouldn't respond the way she does. I know I would love to email her and ask, If everything is as good as you say then why respond at all if you just delete no one would know any thing." But I wouldn't want to give her any ideas. I would just keep emailing you H, and when you get an email form him or he comes out and ask to stop then I would stop but not till then. She can respond all she wants but it is coming from her not him. Consider the source(the slug) delete it and go on. Don't let her get to you (I know easier said then done) and don't sink to her level. She is just showing you that every thing is not okay, she is the one that is desperate.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Hi, Terri. Your perseverence is incredible, and I just wanted to let you know how much respect I have for you to fight like this for your marriage!<P>But what does your H have to say about all of this? Is he defending her to you? Or is he becoming irritated with her behavior? That's the most important aspect, I would imagine.

terri -- It sounds to me like your maybe your H doesn't know how to tell OW no. Have you considered suggesting he get a private E-Mail account?<P>By the way, I think you are showing great restraint by not ripping the OW's head off. It sounds like she deserves it.<P>I will be praying for you and your H.<P>God Bless

new_beginning, thanks ... you made me smile. I hate her too - and that isn't exactly a charitable Christian feeling, but it is the truth, plain and simple. It's very difficult to be charitable toward someone who is rubbing salt into your open wounds.<P>SDS, Thank you, too. I kinda wish I hadn't said anything to my husband today, because he more or less asked me not to email him unless it is important. But was quick to tell me I could always call him at work... So if I continue to email, it will not look good for me. And I don't want to not look good...<P>Connor, I truly appreciate the admiration. As for what my husband thinks ... he's a tough one to read, but I believe he is not happy about this. And, considering I had only talked with him ONCE prior to her sending this message ("Stop running to (H) and telling him that I E-mail you back, I tell him myself. Are you a woman or an insecure cry baby???"), he must have said something to her about it.<P>Well, we'll see how the wedding goes on Saturday - I'm not going to make a big deal about this before that...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>No, I'm not a Marriage Counselor,<BR>But I did sleep at a <BR>Holiday Inn Express last night...<BR>

Terri, Big clue he doesn't want you to email him but you can call him at work. She will see the emails but she won't know anything about phone calls at work. Something is not going well in paradise. Maybe instead of emailing him you should send note to work instead. If he didn't want any contact with you he wouldn't have told you to call him at work. So he wants contact he just doesn't want to deal with her. Maybe a good sign???<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Maybe you could suggest he get another email account. Then you could email him there. I wonder what would happen when/if she found out? Wouldn't it sort of be like him sneaking around on her? That would make you the OW?! I wonder how she would react when the tables are turned.

Oh Lord, Terri, I didn't think there could be two of them ! She sounds like the wildebeast, (ow #1) when she and h lived together for a year and a half his dad got real sick, THEY came to my house to let me know the doctors had said he (f-i-l.) didn't<BR>have much time left (cancer). I asked Mike to come with me into the next room to discuss it and wildebeast puffed up and actually had the nerve to stand in MY house and say " Go ahead , have an affair with our wife, see if I care". Right now don't say anything, but print and save anything you get from her. It maybe helpful to you one day. Sounds like she's worried to me. <BR> <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Never mind about her. What's really interesting is why your husband is allowing himself to be controlled like this and is so resigned in his responses. What's in it for him?

What's in it for him? I wish I knew. I can only imagine that it is the sex. She is dumb and fat and homely. She is NOT a nice person - I know this from experience and from her reputation. My husband seems to only see that she is "fun" - at least that's what he told me when he said he was leaving last fall.<P>Some people have told me that she will NOT lose him - that she is a sick individual and could actually be dangerous. She beat up a friend of hers once for being flirtatious with a boyfriend... She did actually come after me physically the first of only two times that I have encountered her in person, and the second time, she followed me around at a small town fair that I went with a friend to.<P>So, maybe he is afraid of her. Maybe he is addicted to her or something she does for him. A friend of mine pointed out that many men will not share their fantasies with their wives because they are afraid the wives will reject them as perverted... I can understand that and see that that could have been the case with us. Depressed people (me) don't take to change very well, and I was MISERABLE during that time period...<P>Anyhow... thanks for all the support. I have to get some sleep now ... <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>No, I'm not a Marriage Counselor,<BR>But I did sleep at a <BR>Holiday Inn Express last night...<BR>

Terri...<P>That OW sounds real scary....like "fatal attraction" type.<P>Do you think that it would be a good idea to NOT contact your H and see if he tries to contact you?<P>I don't really have any good advice to give, but wanted to throw that suggestion out to you and see what you and the other Posters here think.

terri,<P>Is she for real? Good greif. I tell you, the nerve of some of these OP.<P>I'd keep sending the e-mails. If he gets them or not, it will bug the poo-poo out of her.<P>Sounds to me like things are not as rosy as it may appear.<P>I'm w/ Deb. Print the e-mails she sends you. You may need them some day.<P><BR>Cheryl

terri,<P>Really, my only response to this lovely woman would be to buy her a dictionary. <P>Listen to your husband's requests. Don't go out of the way for trouble. The more she pulls this kind of crap, the worse off the "fantasy" relationship is.

Terri<P>What a b&*@h! Have you asked HIM how he feels about your sending email? If HE doesn't have a problem with it, perhaps your only response to her should be that if it bothers her so much that you communicate with YOUR HUSBAND suggest that she simply doesn't read it. It's none of her business anyway. <P>If he's willing to communicate with you via email, perhaps you could suggest one of those free Hotmail accounts to him? (And you could still send a copy to the other address if you want to keep making her uncomfortable - which you are obviously doing.)<P>But one other question comes to mind... How does HE feel about all of this? Maybe she is just insecure and gets her jollies being nasty to you, but Terri... four years? Sooner or later he's going to have to make a choice.<P>------------------<BR>Bobbie<P>

If you didn't have fears about her violent nature, it would be entertaining to provoke her tantrums and controlling behavior.<P>Feeling mean this morning ,<P>Lor<BR>

Terri:<P>I'm pretty new here so I must be missing something. He's been having an emotional and sexual affair with the OW for 4 years and he's living with her and dating you. Sounds almost like he's married to her and you are the OW in "their" relationship. <P>Obviously, your H doesn't have a clue as to what he wants. I think it's time for a full Plan "B" attack and see if that wakes him up.<P>I've peeked on the other side from time to time, but I could never do something like this to my W and still have the B**** to face her. How do you two part after a "date" knowing he's going back to that OW? <P>Goodness, He's lucky he can still walk.<P>My hat's off to you , lady your one in a million.<P>Flip<BR>