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OP
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As you know, we alcoholics are real good at talking the talk but not walking the walk. And I see you did not answer my questions.
1. when was your last drink? the last time you were in a bar?
2. when was the last time you saw this loser?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2010
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OP
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also on naltrexone to help give me a boost...havent seen the other man for 2 weeks..just in passing...small town with no population on the sign...know i, we need to get out of here...only sober a little over a week...working hard with doctors, relapse prevention staff and i am seeking out other meetings and voluteer work like i used to do..i am honestly ok with seperating from my hubby until i can get healthy and treat him and my family right.. and myself too ...have been trying to work on a rule 25 to go into sober living for up to 90 days...waiting to hear back...
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i am finally at a point in my life where i understand the consequences of my actions and that i caused this to happen with my drinking and my affair...i truely believe it is in Gods hands and what happens will happen...i am not a victim i have been the abuser I find that hard to believe when you come here and dismiss the steps a betrayed spouse has to take to PROTECT himself from your abuse. dont like this advice in these rooms... who spies,tape records,goes through personal stuff, hides personal stuff etc.. I will tell you who "spies, tape records, etc;" it is people who are being ABUSED. For you, the ABUSER, to come here and mock and ridicule the steps a victim must take to protect himself DOES NOT reflect the mindset of a person who truly understands the consequences of her abuse. A sincere person would be saying "I AM SORRY I PUT YOU IN A POSITION WHERE YOU HAD TO SPY ON ME TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM MY DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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How does doing those things protect them
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havent seen the other man for 2 weeks..just in passing
only sober a little over a week...
working hard with doctors, relapse prevention staff and i am seeking out other meetings and voluteer work like i used to do..i am honestly ok with seperating from my hubby until i can get healthy and treat him and my family right.. and myself too ...have been trying to work on a rule 25 to go into sober living for up to 90 days...waiting to hear back... Basically nothing is being done. "Working hard with doctors" "seeking out meetings" "trying to work on a rule 25" is a whole lot of nothing. What is "rule 25?" Is that an inhouse treatment? What you can do NOW is get a list of AA meetings locally and start TODAY by going to 90 meetings in 90 days. You can go to your first meeting TONIGHT. All you have to do is call the AA hotline in the phone book and find a meeting for TONIGHT. They will have a meeting schedule there. Ask the AA hotline to assign you a female sponsor and ask to have her call you today. THAT is real action, BD910. "working hard" and "seeking out" and trying to work" is bullcrap talk.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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How does doing those things protect them If your spouse is wrecking your life behind your back, then you have to know what he is doing in order to stop him. If you don't know what he is doing, then you can't very well stop him, can you? NO ONE has the right to the privacy to destroy her spouse behind his back. Your husband has a RIGHT to know each and every thing you do when he is not around since it affects his life too. SHAME on you for putting your spouse in that position in the first place.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Have a sponsor...have done the 90 in 90 treatment bs and still drank..its not the number of meetings...it is accepting i am an alkie and accepting my Higher Powers help and love..and then helping others...step 2... came to believe that a Power greater than OURSELVES could restore us to sanity...greater than ourselves means even greater than the group...the group or the number of meetings i attend will not save the REAL alcoholic from this disease...I am doing something...going to meetings ,in contact with my sponsor, working with my pastor,taking antibuse,doing a program through Hazelden,praying hard and trying to hold on...trying to stay in the day...sometimes the minute...i am not just sitting
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Yes you are right i had no business putting my hubbie in that position...it was totally wrong... i was selfish and abusive...i admit that... i did what i wanted when i wanted without regard of how it hurt him or my family...true alkie behavior...never once happened sober...no respect for him ,my family or even myself
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Have a sponsor...have done the 90 in 90 treatment bs and still drank..its not the number of meetings Yes, it is the number of meetings... BUT THAT ONLY WORKS IF YOU WORK IT. It ain't going to work against your will!! If you are serious, you will get to your first meeting today and get into a serious plan of recovery. All of this "seeking out" "trying to do.." is horse manure. And you know it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes you are right i had no business putting my hubbie in that position...it was totally wrong... i was selfish and abusive...i admit that... i did what i wanted when i wanted without regard of how it hurt him or my family...true alkie behavior...never once happened sober...no respect for him ,my family or even myself That is right, So how about starting with a little genuine humility and APOLOGIZE for putting him that position? Hand him a list of all your passwords and open your life up to him. Become completely transparent and account for all your time all day long.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. you should not be on Step Nine until you have really surrendered your drinking problem. You have not done that. Go back to STEP ONE and stay there until you GET IT. You have not even done Step one, which is evidenced by your continued drunkeness.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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...have done the 90 in 90 treatment bs and still drank..its not the number of meetings. What didn't work here was YOU, Madam. It is not the 90 meetings in 90 days that didn't work. It was the lady in the mirror. I KNOW that 90 meetings in 90 days does work because I am living testament to that. But, it can't work if you don't work it. I have a hard time believing that you have been active in any AA meetings becuase you still speak the language of bullcrap, ie: "trying to" "seeking out.," "going to"...etc, etc, etc... What meetings are you attending where you get away with that kind of weasel language? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2010
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I have apologized...it means nothing right now...trust will take time to build..i understand that...my first focus is not on the marriage but on being sober...without that i can have nothing...as far as the steps i will discuss that today...I will be at a church play/dinner with my family tonight...dont agree with everything you say but i do thank you for your honesty...its nice when people dont always tell you what you want to hear or try to fix everything for you
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I will be at a church play/dinner with my family tonight... How about putting your family FIRST and getting to a meeting? This is just an excuse to avoid meetings which is why you can't stay sober. You aren't going to HAVE a family much longer if you can't sober up. dont agree with everything you say but i do thank you for your honesty You are very welcome. I will be happy to help you if you are serious. If not, then I won't bother. As far as not agreeing with me, I would point out that I have been sober for 26 years. You have been sober for 6 short days. Your best thinking has kept you DRUNK and DISGRACED for years. So how smart is it to disagree with someone who has what you SAY you want?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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...my first focus is not on the marriage but on being sober... But your actions don't back up these words, hon. Again, talk is cheap with a drunk. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to back those words up with actions. Just talking crap does not make it SO. If your first focus is sobriety, then why can't you start TODAY? Obviously because it is NOT your "first focus." Talk is cheap, cheap, cheap...
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hi :-)
What happened to Mr. BD910?
Me-BH 45
Her-WW 43
PA-May 2006 about a week
EA-for 2.5 months after
DD-End of July 2006
NC with OM starting end of July 2006
Kids
DD-12
DD-16
DD-19
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Can't quit on AA.
Can't live near OM so the house must be sold and you and your family must move away.
You can work on 90 days now. After 90 days you will have gotten past step one. And the house sold.
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Also register and use your own screen name.
How about MRSBD910?
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