Ive been in Plan b For about 2 weeks. She left me moved out and is seeing a 21 yr old kid. We are 28 and have 4 kids. I told her not to contact me until she left OM. And we would keep all contact about kids. Now she is calling everyday like 3 times to talk about kids. When I dont have the Kids I ignore her first attempt to get ahold of me and she calls my mom to ask questions for kids.My question is. Is she using kids to talk to me more. And should I start ignoring her calls more when i have kids.

Welcome, Fishingking.

If you are in Plan B you should not be talking to her at all. You need to find someone to route those calls through (an intermediary.)

I suspect she is manufacturing reasons to call you because she needs contact with you and the kids. Don't give this to her.

I was using a my parents to go between about kids. we agreed to split time with kids. But when she talks to my parents they agree to watch kids for her. Ive told my parents not to watch them for her because she is just going out with the om when they do. So i took over the kids part. Or in your opionion the more Me and my parents have the kids the better. When she calls its about kids but she wants to linger conversation so i cut it off.

Your not going to stop WW from seeing the OM.

Do you want your kids around the OM?

Plan B means you do not have direct contact. Your IM handles all calls, texts, emails.

More time you or your parents have the kids then WW makes getting custody easier.

Explain the situation to your mother. Don't allow direct contact, if she uses your mother as an IM, fine, but DO NOT ALLOW HER DIRECT CONTACT TO YOU, NOT EVEN "FOR THE KIDS."

In fact, exchange of the children should happen through an IM, and not through any sort of direct contact between her and yourself.

Okay, I am going to touch again on NC with your WW. You need to use an IM and have a set schedule for the kids.

How is your arrangement? If you have a 50/50 split, you could look into what happens if YOUR parents would be included in YOUR time? That is the way it works where I live. So, if you would have your children for 50/50 and then your parents had them for 25% then that would mean that YOU actually have them for 75% and that would mean less or no CS and a better chance at going to court and getting full custody. Use that to get your children if you need to.

You can't control what other people do and if your parents want to babysit, let them. BUT you need to get an IM to filter for you. Even if your WW did come back, you most likely wouldn't want her back because of all of the hurtful things she does during her A. Insulate yourself from the pain and drama.