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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 3
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2010
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Hello everyone.
I am new to this forum and am particularly interested in this section because, while I tried other forums, they seem to be severely lacking in advice for those who tried, but failed, to save their marriages.
I, as well as many, many others, had a very bad experience with these forums who gave divorced posters short shrift just because they were unsuccessful in salvaging their marriage.
Thank you in advance for any input you may have on this subject.
Divorced
No Kids
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 656
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Hey kimmielee, so... what brings you here? Anything in particular you want to talk about regarding your situation? Welcome to the forum!
Travis
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
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Hi Kimmielee, welcome to the forum.
This is the "other side of the tracks" of the Marriage Builders site. I think most of us started on one of the other forums (the probability is the "Surviving an Affair" board, but it could also be the "MB 101" area), so you could probably put us in that "tried but failed" category.
I think the underlying purpose of these forums is recovery. It doesn't matter if you succeeded or failed, it's how you emerged afterwards.
We help each other out here. There is a lot of virtual "hand-holding" and "hugging" that goes on here. All of it within the Marriage Builders concepts and principles.
We won't kick you while you're down, but if you start engaging in non-MB principles, we'll probably call you on it.
Cool?
Again, welcome!
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Joined: Nov 2010
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"What brings me here...." Like a lot of people, just wanting to read and learn; looking for different perspectives and philosophies on this relationship thing.
"What is my goal...." See above ^^
What do I want....? See above ^^
Divorced
No Kids
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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"What brings me here...." Like a lot of people, just wanting to read and learn; looking for different perspectives and philosophies on this relationship thing.
"What is my goal...." See above ^^
What do I want....? See above ^^ Have you begun dating yet? Or are you wondering if you should? Have you read the articles on this site? This is a fantastic resource for understanding marriage and how to maintain a fantastic one. Enjoy!
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
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Hi Kimmie, welcome to MB. I don't think anyone around here will give you "short shrift" because you were unsuccessful in salvaging your marriage. One thing you'll notice, is that this is not a marriage at all cost site. Some of our best and astute posters were unable to salvage their marriage. Doesn't make them any less of a citizen. What's important is your personal recovery and that you are honest.
Oh, and I think you'll find that most of the posters around here don't badmouth other forums (unless it's TOW, lol). That's just not our way and it would likely be nipped in the bud, as it should.
Now, do you want to talk about your own stuff?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 651
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Hi Kimmie, welcome to MB. I don't think anyone around here will give you "short shrift" because you were unsuccessful in salvaging your marriage. One thing you'll notice, is that this is not a marriage at all cost site. Some of our best and astute posters were unable to salvage their marriage. That's so true. I didn't find MB until my divorce was well under way, but I'm sticking around because I believe in marriage, even if mine didn't work out. I believe in the MB principles, even though I don't think anything could have save my particular marriage. The divorcing & after divorce forums are pretty slow, but there's a great core group of people who post here regularly. They've been through the ugliness of divorce (or are going through it now) and are very supportive. Welcome, Kimmie!
Me: BS 51
Himself: WH 53, EA/PA w/ RunnerSlut his "running buddy."
Buncha' kids. The two youngest are still minors.
Separated: 08/13/09 after 25 years of marriage
Plan D: Filed 11/13/09 Final 3/30/11
MC told me that he probably has a personality disorder
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Joined: Jan 2011
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Hi Kimmie, welcome to MB! /threadjack Kirby....every single time I read "himself" I crack up. 
D-yr fall 06-fall 07 Separated 10/2010 Him-several affairs, last one 3/2011 Divorced filed 3/2011, final 3/2012 Formerly "Mopey". http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2013149&page=1After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed.
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