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Marriage Builders Forums Infidelity Surviving an Affair Question on NC Letter

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Question on NC Letter #2450043 12/08/10 02:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 299 L Lookin4Serenity Member
Lookin4Serenity Member L Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 299	I recall reading a post here that said Dr Harley stated a NC Letter is not necessary to begin recovery. Guess the key word there being BEGIN. Does this apply to Plan A only or does it also apply when you are in Plan B? Don't pray for God to guide your footsteps unless you are willing to move your feet Me BH 55, WW 40, M 12 yrs, 3 Boys 19, 10 & 8. Separated Sept 08 DDay Dec 08 Plan A Mar 09 Plan B 16 Nov 09

Re: Question on NC Letter Lookin4Serenity #2450059 12/08/10 03:07 PM
Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 299 L Lookin4Serenity Member
Lookin4Serenity Member L Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 299	Bump..Little help here vets Don't pray for God to guide your footsteps unless you are willing to move your feet Me BH 55, WW 40, M 12 yrs, 3 Boys 19, 10 & 8. Separated Sept 08 DDay Dec 08 Plan A Mar 09 Plan B 16 Nov 09

Re: Question on NC Letter Lookin4Serenity #2450077 12/08/10 03:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Originally Posted by Lookin4Serenity I recall reading a post here that said Dr Harley stated a NC Letter is not necessary to begin recovery. Guess the key word there being BEGIN. Does this apply to Plan A only or does it also apply when you are in Plan B? The letter is a requirement to begin RECOVERY coming out of Plan B after the affair is ended. However, it is a not a requirement to begin reconciliation talks coming out of Plan B. The nc letter is a good will gesture for the BS. It has been my experience that any WS that won't send it is not really done with the affair. Originally Posted by MRsMan quoting advice given to her by Steve Harley 1. WS does not have to end the A before we can talk about R (Steve said he will help guide us and negotiate the end of the A and make a plan for R). So a NC letter FIRST is not a requirement. Keep in mind this is advice that was given to a specific client that was being coached by Steve. This BS WAS NOT going to be doing any of the negotiations herself - that was going to be done by STEVE so the BS would be protected if the WS was not sincere. For a do it your selfer, they need to make ending the affair a condition to resume talks and sending the letter a condition of reconciliation. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Question on NC Letter MelodyLane #2450110 12/08/10 05:16 PM
Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 299 L Lookin4Serenity Member
Lookin4Serenity Member L Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 299	Thanks for the reply ML. I'll be updating my original thread soon but I'm waiting for some solid evidence of sincereity from WW. Don't pray for God to guide your footsteps unless you are willing to move your feet Me BH 55, WW 40, M 12 yrs, 3 Boys 19, 10 & 8. Separated Sept 08 DDay Dec 08 Plan A Mar 09 Plan B 16 Nov 09

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