IMHO, all people have this. I'm not sure why you view it in a negative context. I would imagine you make your decisions the same way. Why would you routinely persue what you don't want, or persue what you want with more than the effort required to secure it?

This is not a point of distinction with regards to a WS.

What is different during the A is how they measure rewards, how they measure efforts.

You and I might say we would never have an A because we know how damaging it is to our spouse. We could never "look oursevles in the mirror" if we did that. Therefore we value being able to say we have been faithful. That is our "reward" for our fidelity and we remain faithful. A WS concludes, at least for a time, that what they get out of the A is more valuable than being able to say they have been faithful. So they cheat. Both are maximizing rewards with minimal effort. Their objectives are different.

Anyway, more than willing to agree to disagree on this.

Take for example an analogue to WS: pedophiles.

Experts almost universally agree pedophiles can sometimes, rarely, change their behavior. They can be taught and conditioned to establish checks, create stop signs, and stay away from children. The same experts also agree pedophiles do not fundamentally ever change. Their tendencies, their needs, their wants and their perversions are always there. They may, with very limited success, learn to control their urges. But their urges remain throughout life.

Dr H claims adultery is hard-wired. Evidently, the wiring in WS is soldered better than in others.

The inference seems to be the reason some humans never commit adultery is solely a lack of opportunity. This is false.

My changes came down a barrel of a freaking gun.

My memory doesn't work right and my thoughts remain locked away inside my head and merely seem to seep from the holes.

At least I got out of an abusive situation with a new found distrust of people in general, and that's the good part of all of this.

I AGREE!!! Dang, this woman sounds just like my WH. It's just sickening how narcissistic they are. Or would it be more like "sociopathic" in some ways, such as no REMORSE for what they're doing or what they've done and no empathy for the BS. And I laughed at loud at this: "GH31, let me sow my wild oats and rip your heart out while you wait for me. Don't do what I do. Just sit and wait. I'll be back after I've blown a few guys and screwed around a bit. I'll be all yours once I'm done." RIDICULOUS!! but sums it up pretty much!

There are definitely some lines from previous posters familiar to me.

My favorite (if you can call it that) is "It was an accident." Yeah I am sure he slipped on a banana peel or something.

"You need to remember that money is replaceable."


She needs to remember that SHE is replaceable.
Your WW is a Narcissist. Kick her to the curb.

Trying everything is absolutely right. Maybe these dumb waywards still caught in the fog should realize that once the BS is in plan B at any moment we CAN replace our narcissistic wayward with someone who will LOVE us and not BETRAY us!

WW: "Dying from Syphilis would be a relief from you."

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Got this exact one too! only that my WH added at the end: You basically made it happen.
But the most tragic thing is not what he said...is that I believed what he said and held myself responsible for his As.
Craaaazzzzzy me!

GH31,
I am having fun reading all this thread. Is late here and I should go to bed, but I am going over the whole thing just to see your posts. Sorry, because again this is a sad situation, however this thread is supposed to make us laugh
However, I wanted to tell you that I declare you WW the stupidest WS on the thread. Granted she is in the fog, but she really seems like a dumb idiot to me. Hopefully is just the fog and i am sure it is cuz you would have never married her were she really this way......

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