I have done plan a, plan b and now all the sudden I get a text, he wants to know if while I am gone over xmas can he have access to our home. I think the ow family will be there and well he is 56 she is 42, hummmm her parents might not be too much older than him. So, he isn't filing, he gets very upset if I bring up a D and how he will never see me again...

Any suggestions?

sunnyhere56

Hi Sunny. Why are you able to receive his texts if you're in Plan B?

Plan B means NC so how did you receive a text? He wants access to your home? For what? Actually, WHO CARES? NOPE. Don't respond. Do you have an IM? You are still in Plan B right? Stay there and get as dark as possible.

I don't have a IM, his job was a 4 hour drive on freeway from where we were waiting to move, and then we moved and two weeks later he deserted me. My entire family is so angry with him and I don't know anyone here, so that is how I don't have one. So I am doing a plan b where if there is

a death
er emergency
weird thing with bills (only I send them in so he shouldn't contact over that)

so that is how I have no IM

an odd plan b

When he figured out I was gone before he would come in the house, he won't give me keys and I was told I can't lock him out. So I put locks on the inside and got garage door opener. Becuase over fourth of july he was here when her parents went to her place. Over thanksgiving I had garage door working, and he got mail I saw so see he must have tired to stay here when her parents came again.

This is so stupid I can't believe it.

I am leaving next week, I could just not reply and leave. Only what if he goes balistic and files?

sunnyhere56

So what if he files? Did you expose this affair to her parents?

So, are you okay being his hiding place for his AP FOREVER? I don;t understand what the question even is here. You need to woman up and stand up for yourself.

I don't know where they live, I think they live in southern CA. I exposed to my family, his work knows, his family they all have cheated and multiple marriages....

I didn't really figure out he was hiding here until fouth of july, and then I got the garage door opener installed.

It is really nervy he asked if he could stay here, very odd.

sunnyhere56

He's the one who left, right? And that was almost a year ago. So why can't you change the locks?

I was told that he could say I barred him from our home and then he could get papers and make me move.

sunnyhere56

It's not odd at all. I think it is quite typical for a wayward spouse to do this, what is odd is letting it happen. That is why I implore you to not let this happen. I would suggest that you expose to her parents. State it simply, "I am writing to you to inform you that your daughter has been having an affair with my husband since X. He left me Y and has lived with her since Z." That's it. Usually, you would have done this during your Plan A, but I have seen others advised to expose during PLan B as well and since you KNOW that he would HATE for them to know, you need to tell them. It always makes me giddy to read when a wayward sdoesn't want a certain person to find out because I KNOW that that is the BEST person to tell.