Are there any precautions to take when exposing affair on my face book page?

I don't even know what I would write on there.

I agree it's a great tool for exposing, not just to friends of yours, but friends tell friends who tell friends...

How would one phrase it so not to sound vengful and petty?

mitzie,

Don't do this!

Where have you got the idea to expose on your own FB page? I'd be surprised if that has been recommended here.

Dr Harley recommends exposure to friends and family on both sides, as well as to our pastor. The idea is for the BS to gain their support through a difficult time, and for supportive friends and family to put pressure on the WS.

The other BS (OWH) should always be told. If it is a workplace affair, exposure should be considered to management and the Human Resources department. Employers will often take disciplinary action against people having workplace affairs, and this might include redeployment of one or other affair partners.

However, these various people should be targeted with personal letters, emails or phone calls from you. The aim is to target KEY PEOPLE. It is not to tell your high-school acquaintances and people you have not seen in 20 years about your marriage.

When we talk here about FB exposure, we mean getting a list of family from the OP's contact list and writing to them by email.

I am not a FB user, so my understanding of its structure is limited. There will be many people posting later today who use the system and who will give you more information on your question but for now, please,

DON"T DO THIS!!!!!

I DIDN'T. DS's are friends on my my FB page, and I thought that would be terrible for them.

Thank goodness we cleared THAT up.

I should have known better. "Kids" get in trouble all the time for posting crap they shouldn't on FB.

I think about that episode of Sex In The City where Samantha has flyers made up of her cheating boyfriend and posts them all over the city! LOL, Imagine if SHE had FB!!

You know that you can send a private message to people? right?

Do not post on the wall anything about your troubles!

Only target for exposure people who can help your cause,

Family and friends who will advise. Co workers who will be extra eyes. Pastors, and neighbors, only those who positive influence will help break up the A.

Randomly shouting to the world wide web is a terrible idea.

Go to the OP's profile page. Look at his or her friends list. If they don't have too many, you can send to all of them. If they have hundreds (and many people do), then you'll have to target them more specifically. You are looking for people who have the same last name, or somebody who writes on the OP's wall frequently. You can also look for people who live in the same city or work in the same place.

When you identify these people, send each one a personal message. The personal message should state that your WS and OP are having an affair and that you are trying to save your marriage. State whatever proof you have, though don't be graphic (i.e. say you have pictures or texts but don't say what's in them).

Change your profile picture to one that clearly shows you and your spouse and your children if possible. Some of these strangers that you send a message to will click on your profile. They should see a happy couple/family. They might even recognize your WS and if he/she has been introduced to this person under false pretences, this will increase the impact of the exposure. Affairees don't just lie to their BS's, but they often lie to other people as well. If they see that children are being affect, it will have an equally powerful effect. Make sure the picture is recent enough that your spouse is recognizable by a casual aquaintance.

Remember, when you are writing to strangers, their initial gut reaction is going to be "who the he** is this?" The message has to be very polite and adhere to the basic facts. Let them verify your story on your profile page and do any further investigating on their own (which will stir up even more exposure).

Oh and one more thing - send all your messages at the same time. Not one message sent to everybody (only put one addressee in the "To" box), but go one by one by one until you are finished. You should also write down these people's names somewhere. The instant that the OP hears about what you have done, they will block you and you will no longer have access to their friends list.

Get the info. Prepare your list. Send the messages and get out of there.

To add to Tabby's excellent suggestions, send the messages a minute apart so fb doesn't shut you down for flooding. Before you start, copy and paste all the friends into a WORD doc.

Tabby, great idea about the family picture!

This is great advice Melodylane. Then again, you always give great advice. I just may have to do this if I ever find out who the OP is. I use a word doc when I posts here. It is easier for me especially if I need to use multiple quotes or a long post.

thanks, letgoletGod!

A couple of other things I though of:

-Make sure your privacy setting are such that these people who write you can see your profile, including your wall and any photo albums. You want these people to see you as a real human being, not some cyber stalker or trouble maker.

-Keep a close eye on your own wall. If you have a friend that may post anything nasty about your WS or even the OP, delete it. Remember, the strangers you are writing to and asking for help are friends of the OP. They are going to be skeptical of you initially. Don't give them any reason to doubt you. If you aren't sure, ask yourself what your knee jerk reaction would be if you read this on someone else's wall. With your privacy settings down, the OP could even write on your wall so keep a close watch.

-In your message itself, do not insult the OP in any way. Once again, you are writing to their friends. Insulting the OP will just make their friends want to defend them. Stick to the affair itself. Don't make character judgements against the affairees, even if they are true.